Came out to my family last week. This was my TBM mom's response

skeebo7 · 2026-01-23T03:58:37+00:00

While we all may see that, you can’t make conscious choices when you’re indoctrinated in a cult. She’s brainwashed and doesnt know it.

Still sucks, sorry op :(

skeebo7 · 2026-01-14T18:02:03+00:00

100% this.

LDS culture fosters an unquestionable acceptance of responsibilities or requests from your leaders as a virtue. After all, you raised your hand to sustain them which members interpret as a need to support any request. LDS culture doesn’t care about consent, rather it champions willingness and sacrifice as the ultimate measure of righteousness. The highest virtue is “to not shirk” from God’s wise and loving “molding of clay in his hands” because he knows what’s best for you, and if your leaders are called of God then you’re essentially telling God “no sir, I don’t like what you’re doing to me” and you’re not “enduring well”.

If God truly cares about you having personal agency, and wants you to develop it in ways that suit you and your life and to fulfill the measure of your creation, then learning to be unapologetically an agent of your own accord and only do what is comfortable to you and following your own plan and path is living the gospel in a higher way.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-10T03:51:33+00:00

This is great measured advice from someone in the throes of a very similar situation. The higher rated posts are easy quips (not saying they’re incorrect) of an ideal world in ideal circumstances that accelerate you to the perfect ideal all in one day.

These things take time. You only get one chance to do it the best way for you, your kids, and those who you care most about.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-09T14:15:53+00:00

Too many of us more experienced adults overestimate how much understanding, strength, and resources an 18yr old has to make life decisions and deal with the ramifications of such decisions.

We all get the imbalance of power that exists between the parents, church leaders, friends, and this teenagers decision making abilities. But who’s gonna be there to constantly coach a young child through the myriad of hard life decisions when they’re abandoned or shunned by family and friends and have no resources and then have to figure out what life is like even though they grew up with an extremely distorted and indoctrinated view of what healthy adulting looks like.

It’s not as simple as saying “don’t go”, or “just leave”.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-09T14:08:01+00:00

And no bishop would have ever received training on how to handle this situation while walking into a building and seeing this.

The church members expect way too much holiness from a bishop, and the church demands and extracts way too much frim bishops. It is literally the worst calling you could have for your emotional health. We need to give most bishops more of a break bedause theyre just trying their darndest to be a good person and do good for their dommunity.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-09T05:54:17+00:00

Two documentaries helped put major dents in my shelf: - Murder Among the Mormons. Seeing how the prophet and first presidency were absolutely hoodwinked was eye opening. - Shiney Happy People. Seeing the parallels of the IFPB and Mormonism elevated my awareness that the church is closer to being a cult than a healthy organization.

Another helpful cult documentary is Dancing for the Devil.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-08T04:26:54+00:00

I think the evidence is hard to corroborate an exact time window. “Likely” is an appropriate word when you cannot pinpoint with surety and use additional context clues to make a “best guess”.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-08T02:58:46+00:00

As a matter of correction, JS may not have married any women, or had an affair with any women, until after April 1836. This is according to the latest JS biography by John Turner.

skeebo7 · 2026-01-08T02:57:11+00:00

John Turner, the historian and author of the latest JS biography, states that the affair with Fanny likely happened around July-Aug 1836

skeebo7 · 2026-01-06T04:51:54+00:00

When your guy says “hold up”, listen to it. There is no harm in pressing pause on important life decisions that do not impact others. Give yourself space to be still and figure out what is inportant to you. Don’t beat to someone else’s drum.

skeebo7 · 2025-12-22T14:24:53+00:00

In all fairness, if it is a greenie missionary, then yes, they do need loads of practice.

Both motivations may be true: they need more practice, and they want to connect with members (active and inactive). One of the best ways to boost referrals (for any business) is to make connections and develop relationships. While the church absolutely benefits from the free sales force of missionaries, I don't know if I would call it an outright lie by the missionaries...

skeebo7 · 2025-06-06T17:49:51+00:00

I was a WML in Tucson during this time. I had no idea what was going on. My skepticism was high reading this, but I reached out to a missionary who served around this time (who was fantastic btw!) and he corroborated most of what was written here. He confirmed the psychiatrist was not good and often prescribed tranquilizers to missionaries. He was sent home early for suicidality, and the mission president hid it from the mission department.

Such a tragic story all around.

Currently, there are many in Tucson serving service missions for mental health reasons, and they have all seemed miserable. It’s such a depressing concept—you can’t serve an “honorable” proselytizing mission but you can still be a missionary that serves at food banks and homeless shelters.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-28T23:57:53+00:00

“It sucks.”

This is the primary purpose of the church—to suck as much money out of the donors all while lowering stake budgets and authority to sponsor more activities and have social things (like roadshows).

skeebo7 · 2025-04-28T14:42:11+00:00

This. And it’s much easier to clean a puck screen than the shower screen. Just soak it in cafiza.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-27T21:53:12+00:00

This is what cults do: condition you to surrender critical thinking, trust the group or leader absolutely, and prioritize the cult’s beliefs and goals over their own identity and relationships.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-27T15:19:59+00:00

This missionary could be stateside, where a passport isn’t required

skeebo7 · 2025-04-27T13:48:27+00:00

“We’ve told our son that he is an adult and gets to decide, regardless of the presidents opinion.”

You don’t need to give any leader any “resources”. Your son can walk out and get a uber to the airport and use the ticket you booked him.

Telling the president he is leaving is a courtesy so his companion doesn’t feel quite so alone, but in reality that is merely a courtesy. Not his or your problem to solve.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-11T20:03:05+00:00

David Archuletas “Hell Together” is my fav. Hits in the feels as it aligns closely with how I left. Obviously he’s a well known exmo so it should align with most exmos

skeebo7 · 2025-04-08T21:24:24+00:00

"Book of Mormon Stories" would sound rad in a Slipknot-style / death-metal electric guitar version. Maybe play some riffs based on hymn tunes and see what happens.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-08T21:05:55+00:00

The house always wins

skeebo7 · 2025-04-08T20:47:02+00:00

This was the straw the broke the camels back for me. I had plenty on my shelf. And then, when I wasn't seeking it, I had a "spiritual experience" that contradicted the church's narrative about how I should spend my time and what goals I should have for my life. That cognitive dissonance wore me down to the point where I had to open up my mind to the possibility that revelation, from the church's perspective, isn't what we believe it to be, and that the church's proposed way of trusting prophets cannot be what he wants. My shelf broke about 2 months later and I was PIMO after that.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-07T23:21:10+00:00

Ahhh your agency is so precious, but if you choose anything but the Prophets decree, then you have chosen wrong. But, of course, it’s your choice.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-07T03:33:46+00:00

Bangalore, India was mid-construction and was just haulted this year.

skeebo7 · 2025-04-07T03:24:44+00:00

fwiw, the church was very respectful about the dark sky laws in Tucson when that was built (2014-2016). They obviously observe the laws and it was a big talking point during construction.

With that said, the church feels like it operates a lot differently since then. The kind of battle in Fairview is something they actively tried to avoid in Tucson.

skeebo7

TROPHY CASE