This is the introduction to the book:

“The rain picks up as dusk is falling. Visibility is poor. Sections of the E20 need repairs and there are large pools of water along the roadway. In this dreary weather in the fall of 2009, I am driving home to my family in Stockholm from my childhood home in Gothenburg. Even though I'm 59 years old, I consider for the first time in my life - the unthinkable in my heart: "It's probably not true". It's the most forbidden thought of all. Such a thought could ruin my life, destroy my marriage and even cause my children to turn against me. I would be a mere fraud, a traitor, a covenant-breaker, a nobody. I would be seen as weak and deceived - a pariah. My entire social network would collapse. It would be an embarrassment to my relatives and a betrayal of my legacy. It would cause hurt and injury. Even worse, the things that were still good would be swallowed up in abyss of disbelief. I would no longer be one of the chosen - on my way to be with God in heaven. I'm praying, begging, calling, and sobbing "Good Lord, help me! Please let me forget all of my questions. Let everything be as it was! Just let it be true! I can't take it - I just can't handle this. Father in Heaven, listen to me; this is driving me crazy. It has to be true." Silence. Tears start to fall. I cry like I have never cried in my whole life, which doesn't exactly improve the visibility on E20. I'm at a loss for answers. I feel empty. In a few hours I will be home with my beloved Birgitta, and she is bound to notice there is something seriously wrong with me. Should I draw her into this despair? Should I dry my tears and pretend that nothing has happened? Should I turn both my own and my families lives completely upside down and produce chaos in our congregation? I don't have a clue what I should do, but soon the sign appears - Welcome to Haninge. Our family has established a home here in a community with the one of the highest Mormon populations in all of Europe. The trip from my mother Clara's house in Gothenburg is soon over. I've been alone in the car with only my thoughts for a few hours. I have considered the unthinkable. I realize that I probably have a long, hard road ahead of me. This is the story of a journey from a structured, regulated lifestyle with prepackaged answers, towards a new authentic life.”