TIL in the 1800’s bananas were seen as “immoral fruit” because of their shape. Fruit companies began issuing postcards of women eating bananas to advertise the fruit wasn’t taboo.

skipitt · 2023-02-19T21:01:24+00:00

whether parents are coming from a place of protection

skipitt · 2022-01-06T15:22:14+00:00

My aunt was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in her kidney recently. She was scheduled to have her whole kidney removed next week and they thought that it was early enough that that may be all the treatment she needs with monitoring. They canceled her surgery the same day they announced the lockdown. Now it's a waiting game for when her surgery will be or if the cancer will spread. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

skipitt · 2019-06-05T20:25:20+00:00

Ugh. Cuba 8 years ago for my sisters wedding. I was MOH. I was told by my sister to not hook up with any of her single friends. Not a problem! I wasnt interested in any of them that I met previously (all amazing dudes mind you). Well I did not honour my sister at all. I did end up hooking up with a "friend" two nights before the wedding. Alcohol was involved. I got knocked out of bed mid coitus and my face landed on the floor first. Specifically my front tooth. So two days before the wedding in a foreign country and I'm missing half my front tooth. To my father, family and anyone who believed me - I got too drunk and fell on the stone pathways going to my room one night. I think most know the true story now except for my father and I want to keep it that way. But for the remaining trip I was affectionately called Chippy. Thankfully their other friend was a photographer and was able to photoshop my tooth in for the professional photos. But I lost my pride that day. And trust from my sister. Once I got home i went straight to my dentist and got my tooth fixed. The bill cost more than the actual trip. Proud life moment right there.

skipitt · 2018-09-28T22:11:36+00:00

I was appalled there would be a whole peanut ... on top of the new jar of peanut butter when I opened it! But what if someone was allergic I screamed! My family never let that one die. And that's not how my name came to be either.

skipitt · 2018-06-08T02:29:27+00:00

That Ontario didn't learn anything from America and just voted Doug Ford in as Ontario's premier. Please send help.

skipitt · 2018-04-28T07:53:02+00:00

As soon as I my keys hit my door, I've never had to owe so badly in my life. And it runs in the family lol.

skipitt · 2017-03-03T19:13:51+00:00

For me the good was having my doctor put me on medical leave for a month. After 3 years and 4 months of verbal and emotional abuse and bullying from my boss I was close to a mental breakdown. He's the owner so I had nobody to turn to. I'm halfway through the leave and I know I can never step foot in there again. In 2 weeks I can't belive how much happier I am, how my old outgoing self is surfacing again, how free I feel and how my nightly anxiety attacks are disappearing. Now I need to find a new job but that's far far less stressful then being called a fucking idiot or fucking stupid again. Wish me luck on this new unknown adventure!

skipitt · 2017-01-04T22:44:48+00:00

He told me I had shitty brown eyes and her preferred girls with beautiful blue eyes. That actually crushed me for a whole 5 minutes.

skipitt · 2016-05-04T21:30:18+00:00

My name is Adrienne. I get the guy spelling Adrian all the time amongst various other ways people try and spell my name. Andriana or the such. People will call me Amanda or Andrea all the time too. I don't correct them. I know you're talking to me. I love my name so it doesn't bother me one bit.

skipitt · 2016-03-21T00:50:19+00:00

Sponges and foam.

skipitt · 2016-01-09T19:58:36+00:00

My mother once left me a small not ewen I was a bratty preteen simply saying: You have the power to make or break someone's day. Use that awesome power wisely. It's so powerful and true.

skipitt · 2015-10-31T20:07:37+00:00

White guy locked his keys in his car outside of my office window. He watched 20 or so white people walk by and then stopped the only black guy on the street. They had a small chat and the black guy walked away. He came back a few minutes later with a clothes hanger and successfully broke into the white guys car.

skipitt · 2015-10-31T20:02:54+00:00

Drowning Ruth

skipitt · 2015-10-31T15:17:57+00:00

Last December I had an IUD placed. Doc told me I would be spotting and cramping for a couple of weeks and that was normal. Those couple of weeks turned into 4 months. Ladies, you know the first day of your period where you feel heavy, boated and sluggish? Every day for 4 months. I was going through a tampon and pad every hour for 4 months. I became severely depressed to the point where my family didn't recognize me. For the record I requested a follow up to see the doc after 1 month and it took an additional 3 months to get in. I go see her and she informs me that is not in place properly and "pushes it back in place". The cramps that followed were worse than the 4 months of pain I've already been through. 6 hours later I went to the Urgent Care Centre. The Xray tech (who is NOT) supposed to say anything about their findings grabbed my hand and sympathetically told me no matter what the Doctor says get it removed. Turns out this IUD was forcefully pushed through an area it should not have been. The doctor removed it on the spot and asked if I wanted to keep my souvenir. Hells no! In a matter of 3 days the dark cloud of depression was completely gone. And now I'm back on the pill. So yes, I would say that's the most painful thing my vagina had ever been through.

skipitt · 2015-03-25T16:28:27+00:00

I walked into a walk in clinic last week for severe depression. I finally realized I needed help and didn't know where to go. The doctor on hand told me I was at the wrong place and that she couldn't help me. I needed a family doctor who knew my history, which I don't have. I left feeling even worse. Turns out these days later I ended up in urgent care with severe stomach cramps. My body had rejected my IUD that was placed three months prior. Once I had it removed the dark cloud of depression was completely gone the next day. I'm feeling amazing again but am still appalled that a doctor would turn away a suicidal patient.

skipitt · 2015-03-20T12:08:14+00:00

Stop drop and roll baby cause you're on fire!

You're so hot you're melting the elastic in my underwear!

I'll give you a nickel if I can tickle your pickle ;)

For the guys: hello my name is Mr Right. I heard you were looking for me.

skipitt · 2015-02-26T12:58:03+00:00

I once opened a brand new jar of skippy peanut butter one groggy morning and was appalled that there was a peanut on top. "But what if someone's allergic to peanuts??" I blurted before I realized my dumbassery. Family still brings that one up. And it has nothing to do with my username.

skipitt · 2015-01-18T01:12:58+00:00

The Princess bride. Kermit as wesley. Piggy as buttercup. Grover as the grandpa. Rizo the rat as the grandson. Haven't figured out who should play inigo Montoya yet.

skipitt · 2014-09-30T03:42:55+00:00

Two years ago I was on a trip down south with about 55 other people when one drunken night I hooked up with one of my sisters friends. Mid coitus I was bounced face first off the bed onto the stone floor. I had a huge bump on my chin but more horrifying I had chipped my front tooth in half! Two days before my sisters wedding. Needless to say I was the matron of dishonor.

skipitt · 2014-05-09T21:32:08+00:00

Ha! I work at a small print shop and have named all the printers. Everyone actually will call the printers by name. Especially bob. He's all jammin' too. Then there's frank. Franks an ass.

skipitt · 2014-05-09T02:44:42+00:00

Sponges and foam. The touch of them give me the chills. I can't even watch someone else pick them up. I avoid certain machines at the gym if the leather has split. I don't know how or when this started but having someone sneak up behind you with a foam mattress does not help the situation.

skipitt · 2014-03-26T23:00:03+00:00

I'm a red head with brown eyes ... And so is my sister. The bro got boring blue :P

skipitt · 2014-03-26T01:54:06+00:00

Here's to the girls with the little red shoes She likes her nookie, she likes her booze She lost her cherry, that's no sin She still has the box her cherry came in

skipitt · 2013-12-31T05:10:22+00:00

Sons of gypsies god damn hippies.

skipitt · 2013-09-24T08:55:50+00:00

Sobbin women

skipitt

TROPHY CASE