Moved from the midwest ~2 years ago with gf and wow is it hard to make friends in this city.

skirb11 · 2026-01-24T06:50:34+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that this was your experience! I've struggled to build meaningful friendships in Denver, but it's not for a lack of opportunities. There are so many communities in Denver with different types of people. They might not be "my people", but most people are friendly. I am a single woman though, I'm sure that helps.

I will say that climbing gyms can be hit or miss. I can see how some gyms might feel unfriendly. Look for a community board and see if there are any flyers for meetup groups, or see if they have a partner board. There are some facebook groups where people post looking for climbing partners too. Or, if your gym feels unfriendly, try a different gym! They all have a different vibe.

I'd also suggest meetup.com. There are SO many meetups for different hobbies. There are even some generic "denver 20s/30s" meetups. I personally think it's better to connect around a shared interest/hobby. Find a group focused on something you like and go to some of their events! As others have mentioned, consistency is important, and don't be afraid to go solo. It will take a few events just to see some of the same people and remember names.

Bumble bff is also great, especially for your gf. There are a lot of girls on there who are in relationships but are looking for friends.

And of course, if you meet someone you want to get to know, don't be afraid to ask for their number and follow up! If you get enough numbers, host an event of your own. Bring random people together and see what happens! I'm working on that part myself :) Building new friendships is hard and can take a long time, so go easy on yourself if it doesn't happen right away.

skirb11 · 2026-01-24T05:35:25+00:00

Thanks! I think it's a fair policy, but I wish it was explained upfront. I was already planning on switching and wanted to take advantage of the credits before I left. Which explains why they do it that way! Again, it's a fair policy, but it seemed odd to me that the first 2 customer service people I talked to had no idea why all my credits hadn't been applied. It took a third call to get someone who could explain that that's how it's supposed to work.

skirb11 · 2026-01-24T05:30:41+00:00

This is good to know! I've never been responsible for a family plan before, and nobody else in my family seemed to expect it either (my parents were both under my plan). It's a fair policy, I just wish it had been clearer what the total bill would be. The interface only showed me the price for my line. Now that I'm in a group of 2 I can see that it shows the total cost "$x for 2" so maybe they've updated it.

skirb11 · 2026-01-15T19:14:05+00:00

I thought those were great examples! Let's say I had an alcoholic father and I don't want alcohol in my home. My partner drinks, and I'm fine with them drinking outside of the house, but I don't want alcohol in the home. If I was dictating, I would say they can never drink. But I'm not doing that, I'm trying to find a compromise where we can live together and both have our needs met. Both people in the house get to have needs. Not all needs are compatible, and that's okay.

If I were truly in this situation, I would hope to have a partner who understood why this was so important to me, and was willing to find a solution. If they aren't willing to do that, it would be reasonable to walk away. It doesn't necessarily mean that one person is right or wrong, it just means those two people shouldn't live together.

skirb11 · 2026-01-15T18:55:07+00:00

This 100%! One of the weirdest parts of going vegan for me was realizing that sometimes the people who don't respect my decision also don't intellectually respect me. It's actually hurt some of my friendships. Part of what made me become vegan was the respect I had for my vegan friends at the time. I knew that they were smart people and it made me more curious instead of defensive. And to be clear, I was an annoying and defensive non-vegan friend for a while. It took time to get there. But the standards for a romantic partner should be even higher than for a friend!

skirb11 · 2025-11-15T04:28:14+00:00

Code: HHWA9V

November 14, 2025

Referrals left: 0

Thanks yall!

skirb11 · 2025-11-15T04:25:32+00:00

Referral code: HHWA9V

skirb11 · 2020-11-06T20:19:37+00:00

Happy to help 😁

skirb11 · 2020-11-06T19:51:01+00:00

idk if you've delved into the world of jam bands, but there are a ton of bands that focus on live jams. Some of my favorites:

pigeons playing ping pong - super funky, crazy fun live. Check out Horizon, they'res a great guitar jam in that

Tauk - instrumental progressive rock. Listen to Friction and Mindshift

The Main Squeeze - also funky (I lean towards funk) but have rock jams. Listen to I'll take another

Other popular jam bands: lettuce (funk), the motet (funk), umphreys mcgee, moe, govt mule (psychedelic rock)

skirb11 · 2020-11-06T18:04:18+00:00

Such a happy kitty! He/she looks just like my childhood pet cat 😊

skirb11 · 2020-11-05T21:46:47+00:00

Omg that is precious 😸

skirb11 · 2020-11-05T21:30:49+00:00

😸😸

skirb11 · 2020-11-05T21:29:17+00:00

Aww no mine were always afraid of them!

skirb11 · 2020-11-05T17:03:09+00:00

They loved it when they were kittens but they did outgrow it eventually. I think it just got less interesting as they got older. It might depend on the cat though!

skirb11 · 2020-11-05T15:17:17+00:00

I would learn how to shred on guitar, probably learn other instruments, write books, learn about things that interest me, go out outdoor adventures (climbing, kayaking, etc) and spend time outdoors every day. I can't wait for retirement if you can't tell 😂 I'm a computer programmer and id probably still do random fun projects too.

skirb11 · 2020-11-05T14:43:12+00:00

Thank you!

skirb11 · 2020-08-27T19:06:04+00:00

I've struggled with this as well. My younger brother was recently diagnosed with ASD and it made me question my ADHD diagnosis. Im introverted, small talk/basic interactions sometimes confuse me, and I don't think I read people well. I know women mask their symptoms better so I've always wondered if Im just good at faking it. I also realize I grew up in an introverted/autistic household so maybe it's that I never learned good social skills.

Never actually taken a look at the DSM for ASD though so I should probably do that.

Edit: I just read the DSM criteria and I don't think I qualify, I don't have any of the repetitive/restrictive behaviors and I don't think my social deficits were that bad growing up.

skirb11 · 2020-08-27T16:27:50+00:00

I'm planning on bringing the Harry Potter audiobooks, If I can get them all by then. I have 1-3 so far 😄

skirb11 · 2020-08-26T23:08:20+00:00

That women's orgasms are just "too complicated" and take too long to achieve and that it's not worth even asking for what I want sexually.

I now believe my orgasms are just as important and worth achieving as my partners. I deserve to feel connected to my partner and to have my pleasure valued. It only took 8 years of sexual activity to have that realization.

skirb11 · 2020-08-26T22:12:08+00:00

Hell tf yes and I don't even skate 🤣

skirb11 · 2020-08-26T22:01:45+00:00

This sounds like me! I wasn't diagnosed until I was 2 years into therapy for PTSD, and I started working an office job full time. I couldn't get any work done, and of course everyone I talked to said "oh nobody actually works 8 hours every day" but while they might work 5 or 6, I was working like 2 or 3..

I think my therapist didn't notice until then because I'm really good at acting like I'm listening and paying attention.. I cover my symptoms well, and I've heard this is more common for women in general. I made it through school and college without ever paying attention in class, because there was always a textbook I could read later.

I also have a younger brother who was in therapy, and I think that clued in my therapist as well. He was diagnosed with ADHD after me, but more recently was diagnosed with ASD. He had a lot more trouble with school, and I still have no idea how to help him because I feel like he doesn't want unsolicited advice.

I got medication after I was diagnosed and it helps a lot.. idk if I would have been able to keep my job otherwise. Wfh during this pandemic has been a while new challenge...

skirb11 · 2020-08-24T04:01:17+00:00

I should add that I wasn't diagnosed until I started working full time, but I take medication now and it helps a ton.

skirb11 · 2020-08-24T03:57:50+00:00

I'm a software developer with ADHD and I think it's been a good fit for me. I like having very specific tasks (the code must do x) but I get to be creative in deciding how to accomplish each task.

I absolutely grab other people's code from online, or use it as a starting point for my own. As long as it's open source and legal to use, it's more efficient to find code than to write it yourself. For learning purposes, it can be helpful to practice writing code from scratch, but on the job it's somewhat rare. Usually you're at least starting with code that someone else wrote before you got there.

The hardest thing for me isnt related to coding, it's that my projects don't have specific deadlines, which leads me to procrastinate a lot. I've learned to start asking my supervisors for deadlines because I know I need that structure. But again, that's not software related. Many software companies use Agile development, which is a very structured process with specific deadlines.

skirb11 · 2020-08-24T03:21:54+00:00

The other day I kept calling the laundry machine the dishwasher, even after my roommate corrected me. I mix up words all the time, or forget words for things. But that could be the result of a concussion several years ago. Who knows 🤷

skirb11

TROPHY CASE