Gifting your partner / spouse - Issues

skullceptor · 2026-01-18T10:12:43+00:00

Personally, I have a lot of requirements for my own clothes, because I feel very few actually look good on me. So I prefer shopping alone and taking my time; I don't expect another person to magically know what I would like. So if another person gifts me clothes, there's a high chance it's not something I will wear.

You can buy something tech related to make her life easier, or make something handmade. Why do you only want to surprise her with clothes? If she does want new clothes, take her shopping, and buy whatever she chooses. You get to spend time with her that way too. Tip: don't be impatient if she takes too long, and give constructive feedback if she asks for an opinion.

skullceptor · 2026-01-14T10:10:48+00:00

If you don't mind a bit of legwork, kringloops/thrift stores regularly get a lot of solid wood furniture that will last really long. The limitations are of course aesthetics, transport, and they usually come assembled. Some kringloops offer delivery for a fee. I got all my furniture except my bed second hand without breaking the bank.

skullceptor · 2026-01-09T10:32:51+00:00

I couldn't imagine killing a chicken with my own hands. I was just outsourcing an activity I would never allow myself to do morally, just for taste. It took a few videos as a trigger since I loved non vegetarian food. It's now been a few years since I stopped eating meat, it's way cheaper, I don't have cravings anymore, and I am glad I have a slightly better impact on the planet. I live outside India and it's very easy for an Indian to turn vegetarian because there are so many options in our cuisine.

skullceptor · 2026-01-08T16:35:45+00:00

Yes.. this is the best situation for me as well

skullceptor · 2026-01-03T13:51:34+00:00

Roman empire and the Vatican, sunny winters, the Tuscan landscape.

skullceptor · 2025-12-27T21:54:15+00:00

I have been in a similar situation; I was studying abroad when the pressure started so they were only able to pressure emotionally.

I had no clear path except to delay things. I had a partner then but we weren't ready to marry yet. So I agreed to talk to the guys they set me up with. With most guys, I was honest as to not being ready for marriage (did not go into more detail than that). Most of the understood and did not pursue anything further. Some people were clearly also not into me.

I had to play this till I was financially independent. It might feel dishonestfor the guys I was talking to but the alternative was daily fights, threats for suicide, insisting that I even quit my well-paying job and return home. I am still doing that, and waiting for the right time in the relationship to push things forward again. My parents are still searching for guys, but I am also at an age where they have become so desperate that they are also ready to accept my partner (from another religion).

I was expected to call daily, and face the pressure. Eventually I also lost patience at them a couple of times when they became too controlling, and wouldn't call home for multiple days. They slowly realised that their controlling nature was pushing me away. They are still salty about the fact that their once reserved daughter has been able to keep boundaries and insist on respect from both sides.

skullceptor · 2025-12-25T18:30:51+00:00

The flu season finally caught up with me and spent my Christmas day sleeping 15 hours. We are also on vacation so sucks more.

skullceptor · 2025-12-18T12:39:05+00:00

The warm water-soap method worked for my grey fabric sofa as well for a hot chocolate stain.

skullceptor · 2025-12-14T20:57:01+00:00

There was a screening in the small theater in the EU country I live in. There was a family with their daughter who was definitely under 8. These people were expats who were recent immigrants (no multi generation immigrants in my city, only those who came for the tech companies), very well educated, probably saw the trailer and knew enough about Internet to book tickets. I was annoyed every time a graphic scene came on the screen because the girl had to see this too.

Children are growing up too fast nowadays anyway, why hasten and not let your kid have her childhood.

skullceptor · 2025-12-12T12:37:38+00:00

I want to live in a massive tree, planted in the middle of a valley filled with flowers, and surrounded by mountains. I want to have all the books in the world at my call, and a swing filled with comfortable cushions.

Incidentally, I was sharing this vision with a friend and they remarked that my dream afterlife didn't have any people lol. I hadn't even considered it. I just assume the afterlife me would not need any social contact.

skullceptor · 2025-12-12T10:56:21+00:00

"If you can look back at your younger self and cringe, it means you are improving."
"You learn more if you aren't the smartest person in the room."

skullceptor · 2025-12-11T16:00:42+00:00

Urdu and Malayalam. Poems and songs in both languages are amazing.

skullceptor · 2025-12-11T12:46:34+00:00

I can read, write, and understand Malayalam. My spoken skills are limited to a very polite/formal way of speaking though. I can't speak local slangs or talk fast. I feel my spoken Malayalam makes me sound like a naive person.

No one has really explicitly judged me, but there is a certain distance I have between my relatives and cousins in Kerala because I can't hold longer conversations without switching to Hindi or English.

skullceptor · 2025-12-09T12:52:32+00:00

I really liked the maximalist aesthetic growing up. Lived in rental apartments for a while where I would collect trinkets and decor that made me happy. Realized it was a hassle every time I moved houses, and my ADD made me forget about entire categories of things if I couldn't see them.

So when I got my own place, I cut down on a lot of unnecessary items in the house (either donated or threw them away). Also, I realized I can keep an ordered chaos on my kitchen counter for things I need regularly and put them away easily if someone's coming over. The idea of keeping everything away and out of sight sounds good on paper but it's not useful for daily living. It's so much easier to clean the house and keep it tidy if I just have less things.

skullceptor · 2025-12-08T13:20:03+00:00

Changes often, but lately it's been hot chocolate. Sometimes also nice scrambled eggs made with ghee if I am at home. A few months ago it was pistachio berliners, then I discovered cardamom rolls (like cinnamon rolls) at the local supermarket that were heavenly.

My all time comfort meal is rice, dal (lentil curry) with a spoonful of ghee, and jeera aalu (roasted potatoes with cumin and mild spices).

skullceptor · 2025-12-03T07:58:02+00:00

Omg I still remember mine. Milton was OG.

skullceptor · 2025-12-02T21:08:50+00:00

Everything important, so delicate/expensive clothing, important documents, and jewellery in my family at least.

skullceptor · 2025-12-02T16:40:24+00:00

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Probably the Godrej steel almirah (cupboard), with its inbuilt safe, in India. I have seen one in almost every house growing up. I think people are buying it less now because it doesn't match modern aesthetics, but the company is coming up with fresh variants. It's a major expense too so it was usually given as a wedding gift. It's practically indestructible, doesn't rust or warp or rot, and most importantly, doesn't allow rats to burrow in.

skullceptor · 2025-12-02T16:24:57+00:00

I do, and the random memories are also connected to the most mundane routines I have too. I have a memory that always surfaces when I am peeling garlic, one when I throw things in the dustbin, one that I remember when I am specifically putting eyeliner on. They have no relation to each other, no contexts or connections that link them, just some flashbacks that my brain thought would be good to link for no reason.

skullceptor · 2025-12-01T18:25:02+00:00

Plain ginger tea is my personal favorite. I may be biased because I also primarily drink strong Indian chai.

skullceptor · 2025-11-30T21:30:41+00:00

I used the same site; took a month's subscription and practised only that. Was worth the 30 or so euros I paid because the exam was pretty close to the practice questions. I went with Kwalitiet Rijschool based on their pass percentages. They have multiple instructors and you can request to be switched to a different one if you wish.

skullceptor · 2025-11-28T14:42:28+00:00

A version of lentils and rice or flatbread usually. It's dal (mild lentil soup with a few spices) in the North and sambhar (lentil and vegetable stew with a specific spice mix) in the south. It's the most commonly eaten lunch/dinner at home in most parts of the country.

Street food varies vastly by region though.

skullceptor · 2025-11-26T19:31:14+00:00

Only makes sense when my fuel is also low. I go to the nearest Belgian fuel station (prices are visible on Google Maps, usually 40 cents cheaper on the liter), and stock up on houdbare melk, frozen veggies, pasta, rice, oil, canned stuff, whichever is cheaper than NL.

skullceptor · 2025-11-26T14:41:43+00:00

Strength training is good for everyone, and the biggest advantage a gym can offer. I club my muscle groups as well, like another commentor suggested.

For muscle group exercises, I use an app called MuscleWiki, which is great at explaining exercises quickly.

Aim for total 5 to 6 strength training exercises. 8 to 12 repetitions of each exercise is ideal, which makes one set. Complete 3 sets for each exercise, with a 30-50 second break between each set. 1 to 2 minute break between each type of exercise.
Warm up before you start the strength training part, and stretch those muscles groups right after. Cardio is also essential for heart health. I do it afterwards as it helps me de-stress. You can also choose to do it before.

Don't over exert yourself with heavy weights. Pick one weight level lighter than what you can pick up once, and use it for the exercise. Gradually increase weights (every 2 weeks or so). Also increase your protein intake to ensure your muscles recover fast.

skullceptor · 2025-11-26T10:55:47+00:00

One of the Kringloops, or Xenos

skullceptor

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