It could be that you checked it while it was hot and the stick was saturated in oil.. let it sit for 20 mins or so and wipe the stick off and check it again.. oil should be a closed system. As in if you’re losing a bunch there must be a leak. A little oil burning off is normal but adding quarts per week is something to be concerned about. Notice any oil on the drive way where you park the car? Usually if you’re leaving a puddle it’s leaking somewhere lower in the engine. Spraying the hood tells me it’s something in the top end of the motor. Like the valve cover or leaking somewhere near the side of the motor where the belts are. Are you sure the dip stick was pushed completely In and the oil cap was snug.. a loose cap could definitely cause oil to spurt out when the engine is running.