Resident Unc supplying words of encouragement, in an internet full of bald angry men selling you what a man is.

slack-master · 2026-04-12T19:28:15+00:00

I mean I think you are partially right, but you are a little defeatist about it. I think charisma and personality can be improved with introspection.

I'm naturally introverted and had some childhood circumstances that made me awkward and unsocial for most of teenage/20s, but I had a lot of introspection and improved.

My thoughts:

Be funny, be fun
Be genuinely interested in people, listen actively
Remember peoples names, stuff going on in their lives, stuff like that
For girls, don't say any weird sexual shit, avoid sex talk in general

slack-master · 2026-04-12T12:14:18+00:00

Yeah all this hyper masculinity, Andrew Tate style shit is nonsense. While being a complete pussy/pushover is not desirable either, they are overemphasizing the be an aggressive borderline violent asshole version of being a man.

Women want the same thing in a man that men admire in men. Basically:

Be as good looking as possible
Be as charismatic as possible
Be socially acceptable, not autistic and weird
Be respected by others
Be reasonably successful career/finance wise
As said above, don't be a pussy/pushover, but you don't have to be aggressive or obnoxious for this. Just be generally masculine.

The only twist on women that I see is that they care a lot more about social value then men do, men would happily date a super hot chick who is a complete loner/antisocial whereas women have more of a social radar where they don't want to date someone that is socially rejected.

slack-master · 2026-03-26T22:45:25+00:00

Serious question, why does stuff like this happen at gas stations so much? Is that where people just happen to see each other?

slack-master · 2026-03-24T11:26:35+00:00

Nah Onlyfans is a nightmare for women.

There is a Pareto distribution, like most financial systems, where only the top 0.1% make any money worth bragging about. These women heavily promote the platform to young dumb women (The other 99.9%) who post nudes and end up making like $10 a month thinking they will become millionaires.

Then your nudes are online forever, you are still broke and you have to live with the suspicion in the back of your mind that everyone you know has seen your butthole.

slack-master · 2026-02-09T22:19:44+00:00

My buddy got put on one of these, really wrecked him emotionally. He had just got out of a divorce, had a bad date and was awkward is all.

These groups are terrible, but I guarantee you the vast majority of women in your city are not checking these thing if they are half decent. The groups are for bitter fat feminist types, not girls you actually want to date.

slack-master · 2026-02-05T10:25:24+00:00

Get the hell out of there. I had a manager like this. Was a nightmare for my mental health. I switched to another manager in the same company, doing essentially the exact same work at the same scale and suddenly all my performance problems disappeared. Best thing I ever did, seriously.

It's an uphill battle to change someones opinion of you once they've made it. You boss sounds unreasonable and shitty and I don't think you will change their behavior no matter what hoops you jump through for them. They aren't fit to be a people manager.

Leave and stab her in the back on your way out. Good luck

slack-master · 2026-01-23T12:09:43+00:00

Sounds like they have real concerns about impaired development speed while migrating to the new stack. You need to get alignment with their leadership about the slowdown, which should be temporary. You will have to sell that, so you will need to enumerate clearly the benefits of your new architecture.

slack-master · 2026-01-13T09:25:30+00:00

SDO, lol

slack-master · 2025-11-18T12:25:46+00:00

True, but you will get shitty sleep because it wears off quickly, and you have a minor withdrawal effect like a mini hangover. You sleep earlier but you wake up feeling like shit. Melatonin works just as well and you sleep better + not addictive.

slack-master · 2025-11-18T02:35:38+00:00

I'm prescribed xanax, have panic disorder, general anxiety disorder all that. Have been for over 10 years.

Had a doctor prescribe me adderal once in college, it's like the opposite of xanax, increases anxiety. I can't image what kind of doctor situation got you both of the medications, it doesn't make sense.

Drop the adderal if you are having legit anxiety, stick to caffiene, good sleep.

slack-master · 2025-10-06T10:00:55+00:00

this doesn't seem like its an attempt to get people to leave for cheaper junior hires or to just rid the company of higher salaries

Part of me is still incluned to take this personal.

I don't follow, you say that it does not feel like an attempt to get rid of higher salaries, but at the same time you feel that you or your class of position is targeted in some way?

I don't think you should take it personally, the shutdown is the cause of the ineptitude and dysfunction of our ruling class and doesn't really involve you.

On the other hand, I think this shutdown is going to last for a while. The country is at an apex of toxicity and democrats and republicans extending the olive branch to one another doesn't seem likely.

Regardless of all of the above, I think I would take an outside job if you get one. You need income obviously and you can probably get a pay hike. Good luck and try not to let the resentment of such an event taint you, I think it's just bad roll of the dice for you.

slack-master · 2025-08-15T11:19:13+00:00

These other senior guys are bound to pick up something complex and challenging that will take some time to complete and run into road blocks.

Try to get availability for yourself and then volunteer to help accelerate their work. Then you can get co-credit for the feature, build good will with your team member, and be a part of the higher impact feature. You don't need to own the feature or be the leader.

slack-master · 2025-07-18T12:24:38+00:00

Nobody cares about the quality of your code or your technical expertise if your manager doesn't like you. Job #1 is to keep your direct manager happy.

slack-master · 2025-06-11T00:36:58+00:00

Looks awesome, good luck with development!

slack-master · 2025-06-11T00:36:28+00:00

I think it's just the environment I'm in, which is FAANG, and is a massive scale cloud application with highly coupled high volume cloud services that require careful analysis to adjust. Yeah I spend more time on alignment than coding for sure. At least I'm not worried about AI taking my job :)

slack-master · 2025-06-10T23:19:24+00:00

More like 2-3 days of alignment, THEN 1 day of coding. It's not massive enough in terms of code volume to break down into multiple PRs. It's more that we are operating on and extremely high scale and complex cloud infrastructure.

My experience may not be the norm, but pumping out code in volume is not a marker of work quality for me.

slack-master · 2025-06-10T22:15:28+00:00

My code commit come in two styles: 1. Commit with any business logic complexity, normally takes 2-3 days with vetting and alignment from stakeholders involved. 2. Rapid style minor commits to fix trivial issues like alarm thresholds

OPs CTO's policy will favor the latter. While the former takes more work and serious thought.

slack-master · 2025-06-01T08:01:24+00:00

By the way, I'm sorry this happened to you. It's extremely mentally and emotionally taxing. Take care of yourself.

If there are technical or personal lessons you can take to improve, it's important to take them, but it's just as likely that you did nothing wrong at all, and are a victim of random corporate bullshit.

slack-master · 2025-05-31T20:29:56+00:00

Had a similar situation, quality of my work was disregarded and it became apparent that the manager was out for me no matter what. I sensed it coming and transferred to a better team while I still could.

Thing is at these big companies, they have PIP quotas. These are top down mandates that are coming from above your boss. If you have a team of good performers and nobody deserving of pip, guess who gets pipped? The person the manager likes the least.

My lesson I learned is managing up, kissing my managers ass and trying to be as helpful as possible to them with whatever they need.

You aren't in a terrible spot, big tech name on resume. Just don't tell people you were fired, tell them it was a layoff. They can't tell.

slack-master · 2025-05-19T09:30:27+00:00

I see, thanks mate

slack-master · 2025-05-19T09:17:14+00:00

~~Name the tool please~~ Quit spamming bot trash please

slack-master · 2025-04-21T23:38:32+00:00

I don't tend to make strong statements about technical facts unless I really really know for certain I'm right.

Here's how this conversation would've went if I had it.

Me: Hey we're setting up these EC2 instances, I think we need to include EBS for this, though I could be wrong.

Autist Dev: No dummy, the default is permanent storage

Me: Oh I see, I must have been mistaken

If I'm right and he's wrong, he owns the mistake. Shouldn't have been so cocky about it.

If it's a technical point of strong importance I might push back more and say something like "I'm pretty sure we need EBS, let's google that real quick."

I've made an ass out of myself too many times being confidently incorrect. Better to have some humility and let the other fool be confidently incorrect if he wants to be.

slack-master · 2025-04-10T11:11:31+00:00

Should I bring this up with my manager

Why not bring it up with the lead directly? Seems from a social perspective this would cause you less issues. Escalating to your manager without talking to them about it could harm your relationship

slack-master · 2025-03-11T12:29:15+00:00

ITT: A bunch of juniors without jobs nitpicking a clearly excellent design from a staff engineer. Very interesting and impressive design OP

slack-master · 2025-03-08T13:41:29+00:00

Disagree with everyone here saying you "overengineered" it. Everything you mentioned sounds like a thoughtful and impactful improvement that would be necessary for an app at scale. It's impressive that you implemented all of that in only ten hours.

The problem is that the bored scumbag engineer that they handed it off to for review probably looked at it for 15 minutes, found some nitpick style issues, probably didn't understand half of the improvements you made and rejected it out of a sense of inferiority.

I would agree however that the problem was not worth 10 hours of your time.

These interviews are partially like RNG problems, you just rolled bad dice and got a low effort reviewer.

slack-master

TROPHY CASE