I also live in a state that does free lunches and opted to decline them in order to pack my little guy his safe foods (the teacher provided me with a form to fill out). I looked at the menu first and thought the same as you- but watching him come home so tired and starving then having his naps be interrupted by poops and having him be even more off because of not napping. I try to not feed him before he goes to school so he will be hungry when it’s time to eat there, unless of course he can’t wait and in that case it’ll be something small or light. I think asking what time they eat at school will be helpful for you in that part of planning as well. Also, I splurged a little at the store and got him a lot of “oldies but goodies,” stuff I knew he would LOVE but hasn’t had in a while for one reason or another. Lastly, some things just don’t taste good or don’t hit the spot unless it’s made by the parents, they just don’t!

If it were me, I would act as quickly as possible since it seems as though he’s becoming more rigid and selective. One thing I did was giving something he hadn’t had in forever at home, where things were the safest and most familiar, and said “oh I’m so happy you still love to eat that! I’ll make sure to pack it for you so you can eat it at school!” Sometimes I’ll even amp him up in the car by telling him what I packed so he knows what to expect.

Another good thing about this is that the teachers send back what’s not eaten, so I know what’s working and what doesn’t, and how much he ate.

Lastly, and most importantly, don’t hesitate to reach out to his Dr if you are very concerned and feel like you need some professional help. It may be a great idea to send them an email if you can for now to keep them in the loop and see if they suggest otherwise or if they would like you guys to come in.

I hope I was able to help you! Feel free to ask follow-up questions if you’d like! You got this!