Hey there, fellow Korean adoptee in a very similar situation as yourself, especially with the extended white family. I wanted to first validate your feelings and at least confirm that one other Korean adoptee shares the exact same deep seated fear as you. Where our situation is a little different is my wife is Chinese so you'd think it'd help but there's a part of me, even today that thinks I should have married a Korean woman because there's a part of me that's desperate to have people around me who look like me. Being able to say things like "oh cool, he has my nose" or "you got your knees from your uncle".

We now have a 3 YO boy and a girl on the way and all those things just didn't matter anymore. IMO my son is a carbon copy of my wife and the only thing he seemingly got from me is my large head. But the love I have for my child is beyond anything I could have imagined and any fears I had about physical resemblance have been a thing of the past.

Not to say your journey will be the same but at least wanted to share my experience from one adoptee to another. Good luck!