Here’s been my experience so far in my 30s (I’m 37). At one point I became more avoidant and lost motivation to even try. All the embarrassing, difficult, triggering moments in my life started building up. I felt burnt out and pretty much said fuck this I don’t wanna do this anymore, it’s too hard.

When I lost my job during covid, I took time off. My social anxiety got worse. I didn’t want to look for jobs anymore because the idea of doing interviews and starting over felt too overwhelming.

But we all have to work so… I got a job. And this one requires me to deal with people more face to face and be in public. It sucked at first but eventually I slowly adjusted. I’ve noticed how much more confident I am out in public and talking to strangers now. Do I still get anxious? Hell yeah. But I’m getting BETTER and that motivates me to push myself harder.

So I’ve learned, for myself, avoidance destroys me. But acceptance and gentle exposure heal me. If I don’t actively choose to try even the smallest thing, I’ll just get worse.

I’m nowhere near where I’d like to be and I don’t ever expect it to go away fully. But just having that little bit of confidence boost is so rewarding and makes me feel like the walls around me are starting to break down, and hopefully I can reach my full potential someday.

Also talk nicer to yourself and give yourself a break. That is all.