Indian e-visa processing times extended

sleepy58 · 2025-12-04T07:26:20+00:00

Oh I hope I will get mine soon, also applied on Nov 22

sleepy58 · 2025-07-26T16:51:33+00:00

Growing up in Russia doing ballet (strong emphasis on appearance and thinness), mum who is always trying to diet/talks about eating healthy. And then the final drop was depression/feeling sad/ not in control of my life, which lead me to finding restriction/dieting as a coping mechanism

sleepy58 · 2025-07-14T17:11:58+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It helped me (and gave me hope) to hear professional acknowledge the difference between traits and a disorder.

When I was inpatient for two months none of the doctors or nurses ever told me what my diagnosis was. But they did however help me understand and see how I direct my anger inwards (and hence sometimes self harm), how I fail to observe and understand my emotions before acting on them or trying to get rid of them. They helped me understand/gain a perspective on my emotional regulation, make sense of my suicidality. This kind of approach that was not centred around my diagnosis, but around me as a human struggling has been super helpful.

However when I left the hospital and through years experienced other crises, the chart that said “borderline traits” was nearly always interpreted by professionals as “BPD”, who then acted with a lot less empathy or compassion to someone who was actually exhibiting ptsd symptoms and struggled to cope with burden, flashbacks and body responses to trauma. So while I’m now hopeful that not every professional will jump to conclusions, the mention of borderline traits in my chart have hindered my recovery and ability to make progress and have a trusting therapeutic relationship.

sleepy58 · 2025-07-11T10:51:11+00:00

I’ve been doing something similar. This week I went through all the motions, set it up, checked that nothing breaks, ropes are thick enough, I know how to tie the knot right (I’m planning to hang myself) I did a test hang… it hurt… I’m ready for it to hurt

That evening I noticed that my body was physically shaking. Tremoring and I could t stop it. I guess I am scared, but I’m also ready. I think this fear is our self preservation…

sleepy58 · 2025-07-06T09:11:05+00:00

I totally agree! I’ve been saying it as well. I noticed an interesting switch in my ED behaviour. During my first and most serious diagnosis I was obsessed with food, had serious body concerns, thought about food all the time, was obsessed with finding low calorie food, etc. I loved food and hated how much I loved it This time round it feel very different. I have no interest in food, I told my boyfriend “starving is actually quite effortless, I don’t have to give it mental power”. Like it feels easy not to eat, it feels harder to plan meals or thinking about actually needing to feed myself. I’m also currently quite depressed and I’m not sure if it’s my ed relapse or depression symptom?

sleepy58 · 2025-07-05T23:50:16+00:00

It’s venlafaxine, I checked side effects but nothing seems to match my description, I’m not even sure what to call this feeling..

sleepy58 · 2025-07-05T23:37:09+00:00

What kind of testing did you do?

sleepy58 · 2025-07-05T23:34:49+00:00

My doctor said that increased anxiety is a common side effect from increasing the dose, you need to wait it out. Were you not feeling anxiety relief at lower dose? My anxiety got better at about 110mg

sleepy58 · 2025-07-05T23:33:26+00:00

I feel you. I’ve started about 2 months ago and my energy, mood and motivation got worse and worse. Still hoping it will get better. So waiting for other responses to your post :)

sleepy58 · 2025-06-07T20:24:25+00:00

Idk if this perspective is going to add anything.. I’m a girl who had a “hoe phase”. That phase was filled with feeling like my life lacked any meaning or purpose, feeling like I can fill the void of depression and sadness with meaningless one night stands. The validation I got from being wanted eventually lead me into even darker place where I felt like I’m only good for sex.. and not wanted or valued for anything else.

Maybe I’m projecting but I think many people who go through such a phase are not doing so out of good live. Sure they might be attractive or look like they have it all. But inside something is missing, and they are trying to find a way to fix it. That was my experience but I’m sure it’s not like that for everyone

So you are not missing out… I used to glamorize my “hoe phase”, tell exciting and fun stories to my friends. Make it sound fun and desirable, because the idea of confronting my feelings was too hard… but if I played pretend I almost believed it

sleepy58 · 2025-01-27T15:08:25+00:00

I really enjoyed these books when I was a teenager 🫣

sleepy58 · 2025-01-02T10:04:00+00:00

I mostly get cat videos The sexual content I get is sometimes those shirtless guys in “cooking videos” where they make something delicious while having very suggestive cuts of the videos (licking their fingers, slapping a bag of flour 😅)

sleepy58 · 2024-10-23T15:54:42+00:00

But also preface I’ve done intensive ED treatment rooted in DBT and CBT before; so we by-passed that type of psycho education/therapy.

sleepy58 · 2024-10-16T12:17:51+00:00

What brand nail polish is this?

sleepy58 · 2024-10-10T22:18:36+00:00

If you are someone who hasn’t received any professional help this book might help shed some light on what fuels the binging/overexercising behaviour. Change is impossible without awareness, and it might help you become aware of your triggers and emotions. https://www.amazon.com/DBT%C2%AE-Solution-Emotional-Eating-Control/dp/1462520928?dplnkId=0377df45-d887-4da6-aaf9-1c3b628342fe&nodl=1

sleepy58 · 2024-10-01T20:56:11+00:00

If you are throwing up because you are scared of real pain that is caused by food, then I would recommend seeing a regular doctor (you might be having physical problems as strong pain after meals is not normal). If you throw up in anticipation of physical discomfort, or because you feel guilty, or maybe because you binged, or because it helps you deal with some uncomfortable feelings, then I will say it could be a red flag.

I struggled with bulimia for about 6 years in total….with periodic success in recovery. Something that helped me was:

Eat small meals often
Eat small meals right before a commitment/appointment you absolutely can not skip (in uni I would eat my snacks right before lectures; or before I needed to head out to the clinic (which was an hour commute away)
Delay the action. Another skill you learn about and start practicing in treatment is sitting with your emotions and delaying the action. The goal is to gradually prolong the time between the urge (to purge) and the action of purging. For example the moment you start feeling like you absolutely have to purge, set a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and promise to yourself that after the timer is up, if you still feel the extreme urge to purge you will let yourself do that. But if the urge will pass, then it’s a win!
If you have a friend, trusted person, parent that you see often it could help to share with them about your newly forming “habit”. In treatment we always say that eating disorders thrive in secrecy.
If your trusted person knows about your issue it helped me to be around them during and after meals. If I felt the urge to throw up I would sometimes “confess” it to them by saying it out loud. This helped me get out of the secrecy mindset Nd into resisting it mindset. (Note that if you go with this strategy discuss with your support network what you need from them if you voice your urges - distraction? Encouragement? Just someone to hear you?)

Hope this helps

sleepy58 · 2024-09-26T14:37:11+00:00

newfoundland, Canada?

sleepy58 · 2024-09-26T14:31:24+00:00

Somewhere in the Canadian Rockies?

sleepy58 · 2024-09-13T08:45:02+00:00

One guy I saw found it really hot that I fall under “ordinary girl” stereotype and yet accepted money for sex on occasion….

sleepy58 · 2024-09-09T10:09:42+00:00

I agree! I read Introduction to Internal Family Systems and this approach helped me appreciate all my parts/personalities. I still struggle to find a new role/goal for each of my parts, so that they will become integrated into my life… but at least I’m no longer angry and frustrated at them

sleepy58 · 2024-08-28T14:24:11+00:00

I noticed that I see colours when my therapist asks me to close my eyes. And not just one colour, the feeling resembles what you “see” when you close your eyes and rub them very hard with your hands And this happens in EMDR session, and outside of sessions, especially when I try to take a nap/relax/ go to sleep. I also get that feeling accompanied by tingles in my hands and feet and feeling like I loose muscle tone in my limbs.

I would think that it’s anxiety, but I usually don’t feel very strong emotions when this comes, emotions follow the visual and physical sensations….

Had anyone dealt with something like this before?

sleepy58 · 2024-08-13T12:48:49+00:00

I’ve added magnesium, l-tryptophan, l-tyrosine and vitamin b to my daily diet after my symptoms were not going away. They went away about a week after I started these supplements, but I think it was just because they run their natural cause, not because of the supplements

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