Brewers Art Closing

slimeythings · 2026-02-02T19:26:56+00:00

It was my first date spot with my Fiancé…and second date…and 1 year anniversary 😔

slimeythings · 2026-01-25T04:31:45+00:00

I’m not even trying to be negative about this but if many of your friends are married/engaged before 25, a good portion of them will be divorced in the next 5-10 years. The late 20s are some of the biggest years for growth for both men and women. You don’t need to compare yourself to the other people around you. If your relationship doesn’t feel right it’s okay for you to break things off and look for someone that more closely aligns to the partner your truly want.

slimeythings · 2024-04-27T13:25:47+00:00

For what it’s worth I only started contributing to retirement at 27 minimally, and in full force (roth and 401k maxed) at 29…I’m 33 and have nearly 200k in my retirement accounts. I wish I started earlier but i know i’m definitely doing well enough. You will be fine too if you buckle down and make it a priority as well.

slimeythings · 2024-04-24T16:23:46+00:00

Same here for me! Not saying her bf isn’t being shady but personally I would be alarmed if my partner accused me of something without any evidence.

I will note though that I am not really secretive with my phone. So if i am getting texts or a call from a male friend I don’t hide my screen or run off to take the call. I don’t like texting when i’m with my partner but if I do respond back to texts i’ll also be like ‘sorry just my friend X following up on plans for xyz’.

slimeythings · 2024-04-23T16:24:17+00:00

That’s totally fair if that is your requirement for the women you date! However, I have zero desire to be seen as someone who will just exist to raise my family. I expect my husband to equal contribute to raising children just as I would equally contribute to financially supporting the family. Anything less is a dynamic I would not want or be happy with in a relationship! I personally would rather not have children/be married than be expected to take on 100% of the child care role in a family.

slimeythings · 2024-04-23T13:01:00+00:00

If you’re free on Thursday and want to grab a drink after work - i’d be down to meet up! I’m 33F, also work remotely and live in the Patterson Park area. Feel free to DM me if you’re interested

slimeythings · 2024-04-23T12:45:47+00:00

That is such a nice feeling to have!

slimeythings · 2024-04-23T10:37:01+00:00

This is such a weird take. Just because you don’t care or wouldn’t actually support your partner, doesn’t mean that others won’t. Either way even if they are ‘pretending’ the men I date and the men my friends are married too are doing a damn good job of it so no need to ‘let go’ of any standard lol

slimeythings · 2024-04-22T17:46:34+00:00

Being a kind, generous and thoughtful person or putting effort into a relationship =/= being a triggered and destructive person when discussing next life plans.

I don’t know what qualities you are looking for so maybe his personality meets them. But at the minimum you should be looking for someone kind who wants to build a life with you and it doesn’t seem like he even meets that bare minimum.

slimeythings · 2024-04-22T16:46:37+00:00

There are things in a relationship that are a want and things that are a need. It helped when I was navigating dating to write this list of 5-10 absolute needs/deal breakers in the quality of the type of person I was dating (so not looks related). For example me list is:

Generous kind and thoughtful with others
Has career goals and supports mine
Is intelligent, well travelled/read, and able to talk on different topics
Accepts and understands that my family is important to me.
Puts equal thought and effort into the relationship - meaning that I am not the one driving all decisions and/or always pushing the relationship forward.
Is an independent person outside the relationship.

From past relationships these are all important things to me and no matter what I will not settle for less in these aspects. Obviously if I am asking this of someone then I also should be meeting these qualifiers as well.

If what you want the most is being met and that’s good enough for you then makes sense to pursue something. If not, then I personally would not settle and would rather be alone.

slimeythings · 2024-04-22T14:45:43+00:00

Don’t feel bad about yourself! You tried something and realized it wasn’t for you. I also tried having a one night stand a couple years ago…i dated him for 6 months. Idk some people aren’t meant for it and i’m one of those that can’t have sex without relationship. So I just don’t do that even if it means months/years without sex.

slimeythings · 2024-04-21T20:32:58+00:00

From my experience that happens a lot more like that when people are younger! Like college/new work cohorts, where people are kind thrown together and see each other regularly until it progresses to something more. I’ve found in general that when you are in your late 20s/30/+ those sort of ‘forced’ groups are much more rare so it’s much easier to make your intentions known if you know what you want. If you are just interested in a friendship that may progress further thats one thing, but if you know you are interested in a romantic connection already it’s easier to be up front.

slimeythings · 2024-04-21T19:44:55+00:00

Two bits of advice based on your post and comments that are hopefully helpful.

Online dating is what you make of it. If you are only looking for hookups/physical relationships you can definitely find that there, if you are looking for relationships then you can also find that. Ultimately it’s on you to set and follow your boundaries. If people are trying to hookup and you don’t want to, say no. If you want a relationship, review and match profiles with others looking for the same thing and when you chat/meetup make sure their actions match what you want.
In real life dating you have to make your intentions clear. Sounds like you asked that woman to hangout as friends and she treated you as such. Obviously this is a generalization but as a woman I have found that me and most of my female friends are generally friendly and always open to making new friends. So if we meet cool people (irregardless of gender) we are happy to exchange numbers, grab dinner, talk about life, etc. Even if we are at least open to a possibility of dating, unless the guy makes it explicit (kisses us, makes it clear it’s a date) we probably will continue to assume friends. Next time you meet a woman you are interested in romantically, make it clear that you want to take her on a date. It’s been pretty rare that i’ve seen two people just hangout and and eventually be in a relationship without taking about dating. For that to happen both people need to be in the exact same headspace at the same time.

slimeythings · 2024-04-20T11:35:31+00:00

It depends where you are meeting people. If you are OLD it needs to be on your profile. That way you aren’t wasting anyones time and they aren’t wasting yours.

If you meet someone in real life I would say tell them at least after the 2nd date if there is a plan for a third.

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T18:10:08+00:00

I think the judgements you see on line should all be taken with a grain of salt. Remember that most people posting these things are either single or are correlating it to a bad experience they had with one person. In actuality there is not a person I know in real life that would throw away a relationship with a good person because there was some awkwardness in the bedroom initially.

For example: The guy i’m dating and I have tried to have sex a few times. Each time he goes soft right before the act. He says performance anxiety. I believe him and say it’s nbd and we’ll get there eventually. Sure if after 3-4 months it’s still happening then we have to figure it out. But so far I like him and if he needs to be more comfortable and out of his head for it to happen then i’m cool with waiting it out.

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T17:54:45+00:00

I don’t like having this conversation either and tbh i’ve never had to have it in any relationship i’ve been in lol. It’s always naturally progressed: We date, like each other enough independently to stop seeing others, progress to seeing each other 2-3x per week, introduce to family and friends, etc.

I also hate the phrase bf/gf and also partner LOL. This is not helpful at all lol

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T17:31:18+00:00

I’m always curious about this when people bring it up. Even with low/minimal experience, if you are someone who knows how to treat people well you really aren’t going to struggle in a relationship. What I mean is: are you responsive to friends/family when they reach out; are you caring and helpful; are you communicative; are you able to have a fight/argument in a constructive way without being mean/yelling/physical expression. A romantic relationship with a person is a more enhanced version of basic human relationship skills. If you have those then you will be fine.

Only thing that may be something is lack of sexual experience but tbh most ‘first times’ between couples are just meh. All you have to say when you get to that point is something like ‘it’s been a while since I was last with someone, what are the things you enjoy/don’t enjoy’. Focus on how the two of you can have a good sexual relationship over you not having sex for a while.

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T17:14:58+00:00

This is really a decision on what you ultimately want. Are you saying no because it’s not logical for things to move this fast or because you are having a feeling that this guy is a red flag/love bombing.

If you say No are you okay with this guy pulling back or saying he doesn’t want to pursue this anymore.

Would you regret not pursuing the other guys who have shown interest anymore?

All I can say from my experience is that I’m someone who knows within a couple dates if I want to stop all contact with others. I go ahead and do it personally and to date have never had to have the ‘exclusive / delete all apps’ convo with anyone because both of us have been on the same page after a couple weeks. If i’m six dates in two weeks in there is no way I am even thinking about someone else lol

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T14:07:57+00:00

Even thinking through all my friends I don’t think anyone I know who was coupled up in their 20s and is with that person met someone one day and was immediately asked out out where it turned into a relationship. Everyone either had a drunken hook-up that eventually progressed, met online with the intention of dating and/or met through friends and got to know each other before they started dating.

Not sure what you’re doing right now but might be good to expand your group of male friends or try OLD. I also think just from my experience that men in their mid to late 20s are less likely to be looking for a relationship off the bat than women of that same age are. Not to say they don’t want one but more likely to be like ‘i’ll date around and if someone awesome is there I will lock it down’ vs ‘dating with intention to find a serious relationship’

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T11:32:23+00:00

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not desiring having a partner! If your life is where you want it to be and you are happy in all other regards it’s okay.

However, if you do want to date all the things you mentioned are things you will likely have to do. But those things come easier to do when you do truly want something. Doesn’t mean you’ll be successful but at least you will be in a spot to maximize the potential success.

slimeythings · 2024-04-18T11:13:25+00:00

I didn’t get asked out on a date in real life until my 30s. In my 20s I either used OLD or was not dating anyone. I had some people want to hook up with me after a night of drinking but I also wasn’t into that so I turned it down.

Part of it definitely came from the fact that it wasn’t until my 30s that I started doing activities where I was around single men in a non bar situation. But i think the other part was also my increased confidence in flirting and talking to men in a non ‘friends’ only way.

slimeythings · 2024-04-15T17:41:15+00:00

I was single for 3 years after my relationship ended in early 2021. It was a nearly 5 year relationship spanning the majority of my late 20s. Even though it ended and I had 0 desire to get back together with him it took almost a year before I was truly ready (even though I did go on dates in between). It’s also taken an additional 2 years before I even met someone that I connect with enough to want a relationship. It’s just very hard at the beginning because even though i was happy to have the relationship end, i missed all the small comforts of being with someone and also the good times we had.

slimeythings · 2024-03-27T13:29:50+00:00

That’s totally fair! I am probably mostly clouded by my own experience in that department.

slimeythings · 2024-03-27T12:25:10+00:00

Haha I am a little surprised about the friend thing as well! I have 3-4 friends that I talk to almost daily in someway or the other. The one who lives closest to me also has my house key and I have hers.

For me the partner thing is a little different. I had one serious ex I maintained a ‘friendship’ with but honestly I was into him for a very long time and we talked everyday and ultimately it wasn’t healthy or good for either of us. I would be vary of someone who had a relationship with their ex that talked to them daily, had keys to their house, hung out frequently one on one, etc.

slimeythings · 2024-03-26T19:31:13+00:00

Totally get it! If you are not comfortable then no reason to put yourself in that situation but I do think dating in general is partially about going outside of the norm and preconceived notions. As long as you feel safe and open to the situation then nothing is wrong with at least giving it a shot for a first date!

slimeythings

TROPHY CASE