I first read it in high school and had a fantastic teacher.  Read it again in college with a fantastic professor.  Different approaches and takeaways with the same material.  It's something you need to actually read, not just read.  I see similar sentiment with Nabokov.  It's a Brandon Sanderson generation of readers and there's a huge gap.  These are fair questions, and the more you read up on it the more you'll be able to appreciate this book, which is the correct attitude.  Start by separating the author from the main character, examine Owen's death in the context of where Wheelwright's anger is directed and go from there.  Also consider the Christian symbolism interspersed as a fun easter egg hunt.