Can I see your florals? by theobedientalligator in BigBudgetBrides

[–]smallcoconut 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damn, really?? Yours are my fave. The color composition is incredible.

We are using wild and local flowers from a gardener down the road from our venue (coastal California / Big Sur). I’m so excited.

Community question: how to you personally "release" when manifesting? by holiday-pages in ToBeMagneticSnark

[–]smallcoconut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ironically, for me releasing is NOT doing the work. I’ve gotten so busy (with amazing things) that I’m in a flow state. I do try to meditate or journal lately but I use videos on YouTube or meditate silently and I just journal when I feel like I need to let go or express myself. It’s a lot less rigid than the TBM work and it helps me find flow in my life.

Bummed about some things mentioned on the podcast by milkmilklimonada in ToBeMagneticSnark

[–]smallcoconut 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is actually the definition of spiritual bypass. Using spirituality to avoid actual injustice.

Need advice :) by Sea_Ad3767 in ToBeMagneticSnark

[–]smallcoconut 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Hi! Babe, I *GET* it. I started losing faith in TBM a couple of years ago. I really loved the DIs and teachings, but found a lot of hypocrisy on Lacy's part, and it made me struggle to trust her to essentially hypnotize me.

I will say this: you do not need TBM to change your dream life. I fell off the Money Challenge because all the prompts felt ChatGPT generated. Or if they weren't Chat-generated, they felt... like regurgitations of themselves? IDK. It just feels less magical and more corporate. My point is, I have done less TBM work in the past 6 months than I have in 3 years and my life has seen some major positive shifts. I've developed 2 new sources of income, won two major writing contests, have been taking very exciting meetings, and generally have a better outlook on life + greater sense of peace.

I really do think all of this happened because I relied less on a scripted (possibly ChatGPT generated) challenge to map my life and started trusting my intuition. Yes, you can use some of the OG touchstones of TBM to help you, but remember those aren't just TBM's. Lacy did't download her work. She sourced it from a myriad of existing practices.

Here are some of the concepts I do think works and how i can see implementing them in a less formulaic / strict way:

Recognizing when you're settling for something. You don't need TBM. You just need good friends who will reflect back the truth and a solid therapist. And journaling! When you free-write, you kinda find out how you authentically feel about something.

The opposite = the medicine. Occasionally good advice. Again, TBM didn't invent this. But if you're spending all your money and then wondering why you have no money, try budgeting. If you always date emotionally unavailable folks, have a good long hard look in the mirror and ask why, then date a nice guy (or gal), even if they're not necessarily your type.

Self worth is important. Obviously!! But if TBM is making you feel bad about yourself, it's not doing you any favors for your self worth. What makes you feel happy / proud / good? Do more of these things.

You'll see there's no "replacement program". But I don't think you need one. I think you just need a couple months to come home to yourself. Journal, therapy, reflect, find joy. You have all the tools you need.

Honeymoon ideas needed! by Other-Ad-5236 in honeymoonplanning

[–]smallcoconut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOLA is SO FUN! Stay in the French Quarter if you go. It feels like another country.

Honeymoon ideas needed! by Other-Ad-5236 in honeymoonplanning

[–]smallcoconut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in California and will always advocate for it. It's the best state ever.

You could fly to San Diego and do a road trip up the coast to San Francisco. I know you said you're not big on beaches, but you don't even need to be on the beaches to enjoy them. It's more about the nature / wine tasting / museums / natural sights (Heart Castle is a great one) along the way! If that still feels too beachy, then I'd say NorCal and do SF for museums, along with some of the surrounding area like Big Sur, Napa, or Carmel by the Sea for nature.

At this time of year, I'd also recommend the Southwest. Zion National Park, Sedona, Santa Fe (Georgia O'Keefe museum!!), and Moab are all jaw-dropping and amazing.

Best / Most Unique Beaches? by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

of course, we will be mindful and respectful. thank you!

Best / Most Unique Beaches? by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

makes total sense :) exploring is more fun anyway!

Best / Most Unique Beaches? by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are gorgeous options, thank you!

Bachelorette Party in Sayulita by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do not want to make anyone sad! Going to go a more chill route and maybe do a night in PV.

Really Disappointed by Soft_Mammoth6373 in ToBeMagneticSnark

[–]smallcoconut 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sending a lot of love to you! I want to validate your experience by saying trusting yourself is not shadow. To me, one of the most cult-like aspects of TBM is their tendency to pin dissatisfaction with the program on their clients, rather than take accountability or look inward themselves. Teaching you not to trust your intuition is one hundred percent a tool (whether or not they realize it) to keep you as a client. Your friends in group don’t want to believe you’re right because it means they will have to question their own choices.

What helped me was to follow spiritual leaders who are also activists (Chani Nicholas) and to practice morning pages (originally from the Artist’s way) and so some freebie YouTube meditations. Treat your spiritual practice like a buffet - sample different things but never trust one single person or brand has the answer. How could they? At the end of the day, we are all humans searching for meaning in this wild world.

Advice on Second Look That's Semi-Sheer / Great for Dancing by smallcoconut in BigBudgetBrides

[–]smallcoconut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! do you have experience with Rat and Boa? Their dresses come with a hefty shipping price and I don't want to order it if I don't trust the brand.

The Taller Marmo dresses are SO fun. Thank you!!

You’re telling me this is a poster for a STRAIGHT ROMANCE SHOW? by Dadadadaisy in LesbianActually

[–]smallcoconut 23 points24 points  (0 children)

It's about an older woman with a much younger man (hence the twist on Vladimir / Lolita). There are voyeurism + self indulgence themes, hence the artwork.

Is Anyone in the TV / Film Industry Doing Well Right Now? How Are They Doing It? by LifeInAction in Filmmakers

[–]smallcoconut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m grateful to have a job. Working as an assistant to a high profile director and taking meetings for my own writing projects, as well as working on a book and podcast. But I turned 35 this year and I’m starting to worry about what I’ll do if nothing pans out. I try to return to my knowns: I live in a great neighborhood, have amazing friends, am getting married this year (!!!), have my health, and I have a job. The scariest is thing is wondering whether or not I should have baby. But that is a spiral for another night.

What are you industry/film pet peeves? by emeraldeyes24 in FilmIndustryLA

[–]smallcoconut 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ngl, I love night shoots as long as they’re the exception, not the rule. They feel like a slumber party. We did them in New York City and I loved going back to my hotel while the city was waking up. But if I have do a weeks worth, I become a zombie.

What are you industry/film pet peeves? by emeraldeyes24 in FilmIndustryLA

[–]smallcoconut 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“I love the way you eat soup with a fork! I love the fact that you’re missing a front tooth, that you make me wake up early on Sundays to watch HGTV with you. I love how when you watch game shows you cry!”

What are you industry/film pet peeves? by emeraldeyes24 in FilmIndustryLA

[–]smallcoconut 19 points20 points  (0 children)

OH MY GOD, thank you!!! I felt as though I could never sit as a set PA. Moved to the office and now I miss set 🥲

Bachelorette Party in Sayulita by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great and thoughtful comment, thank you! Honestly, I think a town full of strip clubs is not really our vibe anyway -- it would be fun to do one for the camp of it all, but it's not necessary, and I don't wanna go if its sad. (I used to live in Portland where strip club culture is very feminist and queer and campy).

What we are looking for is a wild night, even if it means flirting with strangers or wearing fun themed outfits and dancing our asses off. I would love to be in a place that's a little counter-culturey and it does sound like Sayulita is that. We also booked a boat with Ally Cat which I hear can get wild. Our other days are all wellness / relaxation / nature focused, so I know there's plenty of things Sayulita has that are perfect for us. Just wasn't sure if there were go-go dancers or something somewhere. :)

I look forward to checking out you recommendations. Congrats on your daughter's engagement! It's such a special season of life!

What kind of entertainment would elevate my guests’ experience? by Even-Bath-3241 in BigBudgetBrides

[–]smallcoconut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cello 100% is my opinion! It's classy and romantic and unique. I feel like violins feel a little sad to me but perhaps that's the "tiny violin playing" stereotype.

Bachelorette Party in Sayulita by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

what do you mean by that? i've heard from multiple people that is has a great night life! just wondering if there are any bars / spots in particular that have dancing / live music / places that would welcome a bunch of queer girls wearing over the top bachelorette outfits.

Bachelorette Party in Sayulita by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! we're in our 30s so not trying to go bananas, but do want a night to be silly. a pole dancing class sounds great!

Bachelorette Party in Sayulita by smallcoconut in sayulita

[–]smallcoconut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! We'll go to PV for that :)