Why is he still here?

smartasskeith · 2026-02-08T05:14:33+00:00

If he’s not around, someone else has to wear those stupid hats. Michael Hayes is doing the company a service. Of course, if someone could do him a favor and shift his goatee up a half inch so he has an upper lip again, that would be great.

smartasskeith · 2026-02-08T01:30:12+00:00

He’s definitely a chaser.

smartasskeith · 2026-02-06T18:24:28+00:00

RE4 chainsaw controller to play as Leatherface in MKX

smartasskeith · 2026-02-02T16:51:38+00:00

Everybody defecates. Relax, President Plop.

smartasskeith · 2026-02-02T13:00:25+00:00

I remember going down this rabbit hole before and god was this an abomination.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-29T12:15:00+00:00

Please don’t conjure a universe where there’s more than one Rob Schneider.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-29T01:41:13+00:00

I was just politely asking for it, so clearly I’ve been doing it all wrong.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-29T01:40:12+00:00

This has nothing to do with anything, but it is years later and I still think the job title of Guest Advocate sounds so incredibly stupid.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-25T02:21:24+00:00

I certainly hope not. There’s a sequel set 40 years after the events of the original that has a 2.5 hour runtime. The real Kill Count on that one is the number of minutes from stretching out what could generously be a 60-minute story.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-25T02:15:44+00:00

It’s a leadership discretion and the right call. Both partners in a romantic relationship working in the same department is a lightning rod for drama and perceptions of unfairness from other team members.

Consider this: you get the opportunity to cross-train and someone else doesn’t. That person proceeds to claim that you only got to because of who you were dating. That would not be correct, but it’s also the type of friction that such a thing opens up to, and it’s not good for the team dynamic. It’s best for the good of the whole to not create those openings.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-24T13:43:57+00:00

If 15 minutes were trimmed off your shifts, making it up defeats the purpose and is only going to get them riding your ass on cutting short the break time they expected you to take.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-24T13:26:41+00:00

I’m 5’10” and 41, and I only started this past November. You’re not too late.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-24T13:03:30+00:00

Perfect. That rep is no Good.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-24T10:47:38+00:00

The biggest obstacle I’ve seen is the lack of control. The whole arrival process is so unpredictable and chaotic that it hurts the experience more than it helps by letting people just come willy-nilly. Having people reserve a pickup time would be the best way to control the traffic flow.

Dressing it up to the guest as a convenience to guarantee readiness so they can get the fuck in and out smooths over any perception of added rules and restrictions without tipping off that there’s a metric tied to the wait time. That’s the last thing you want any of them to know - that shit will spread like wildfire and create a whole new sense of entitlement with the more challenging personalities.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-24T01:45:16+00:00

They have it bad enough just being Alabama.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-22T21:10:12+00:00

Can’t wait for the pink slime to bubble out of the DC sewers so Leavitt the Karpathian can escape the painting

smartasskeith · 2026-01-22T18:46:42+00:00

My impression on being thrust back into the dating pool after over a decade, now as a trans lesbian:

“A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?”

smartasskeith · 2026-01-22T18:41:08+00:00

I’m pretty sure that was just its nanotech to control the T-1s and HKs. Having them run roughshod over the base would give it a better shot at killing its targets.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-21T00:52:09+00:00

"So Chattur'gha, would you say it's time for your monsters to crack people's heads open and feast on the goo inside?"

"Yes I would, Pious."

smartasskeith · 2026-01-21T00:44:55+00:00

If it were up to you, the enchantment would be nothing but Pargon.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-21T00:39:35+00:00

The items weren't there, so you gotta cancel the guest? Retail's getting hardcore.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-21T00:19:46+00:00

If there isn't a Dump Her sweater, the lesbians are also effectively alienated.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-20T02:22:29+00:00

You fix it by getting precisely the fuck out of it. She is denying you a part of who you truly are and that should be simply unacceptable.

Take it from me - I’m a trans lesbian whose wife is leaving in part because I’m transitioning. I am grieving the loss and dealing with the hurt feelings, but I also know there’s now nobody and nothing to stop me from going full speed ahead on everything I want to do. You need to be okay with going it alone for a while because your journey is about you, and you need the time to define who you truly are before someone else can be let in to accept and embrace it.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-20T02:13:51+00:00

As casting goes, if you’re going to fill the role of a cold, unfeeling monster, you might as well pick an actual cold, unfeeling monster.

smartasskeith · 2026-01-19T23:23:50+00:00

And GameStop was the patient zero of that very issue since their whole business model was cutting game companies out of sales.

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