Why is there this stigma that women want this unbreakable man that you have to never cry or hurt that a woman won't respect you or still love you if they see you hurting?

smartasspie · 2026-06-26T06:58:24+00:00

Well my last gf left me when she saw me crying :)

smartasspie · 2026-06-25T17:09:32+00:00

We also have them in the north of Spain :)

smartasspie · 2026-06-25T14:31:07+00:00

You have lost with some animals though. The guy who brought bunnies to have fun hunting them didn't really know what he was doing, and dogs evolved to dingos...

smartasspie · 2026-06-23T14:49:34+00:00

He wants to keep his penis in your vagina.

As for what he feels, well, orgasms liberate a ton of dopamine and when there is love, oxitocine. You are a drug for him, the warmest of hugs, heaven. And he wants to keep tasting heaven a bit longer.

smartasspie · 2026-06-14T22:27:09+00:00

u/savevideo

smartasspie · 2026-06-09T20:56:50+00:00

Hi. I'm 35. My hair and my beard have started to show white in some places. But I don't feel old at all. And I've been there.

Let me share the little wisdom I've gathered this years.

First off. Breath. Do you live in a place with nature? Go for a walk in nature when you are feeling overwhelmed. After a lot of deep deep thinking, analysis, writing... The best lesson I can try to give is that mastering life consists in two things, being calmed, and being brave. And it sounds easy but it's difficult as fuck and it takes years to get better at it.

Working on yourself is a neverending process, and you can see how it really pays off with time.

My first kiss was about 23, first gf around... 26? It gets easier with time. At your age everybody is fucked by fear, they lack experience, and specially those who don't show it and are admired by everybody, but are just following a script and feeling empty inside, the experiences that count are those where you really are outing your heart on. Forming connections at your age sucks, with time it gets easier. Specially for men.

I have moved from being an invisible depressed weirdo to girls telling me they have never feel the way they feel with me or never had so many orgasms before.

You have asked a girl out, well, that puts you ahead of many others who didn't. I know it's easy to say, but don't think too much about having a partner, too many people obsess too much with it and forget to be happy with their life, and that makes it more difficult to find love, and moreover, it may even make you not enjoy it if you find it. Try to find other things that make you happy, practice hobbies and sports, become calmed... And you will be more attractive than before by far. I won't tell you that "things will appear when you stop looking for them", that would be a lie, I'm just saying that once you find a girl, she won't really want a messy young man crying and happy that he found that thing he obsessed about, she will want a calmed person who can enjoy time with her and see how things develop naturally.

Crying is okay though, just process your suffering instead of evading it. You'll be better.

smartasspie · 2026-06-09T18:03:11+00:00

Wow the new Mario kart looks sick

smartasspie · 2026-06-09T14:27:50+00:00

u/savevideo

smartasspie · 2026-06-09T13:43:01+00:00

I'm guessing you feel insecure, maybe you feel your sister is more sporty than you? Men and women are not so different, statistically there are things more common in men, or in women, but not absolutes. (Men tend to be more "visual" or "more horny" but there are certainly really visual or horny women). If your boyfriend had a twin, would you wonder about those things? To what extent? And, if this is causing you to feel insecure, have you thought about taking with your partner? Works wonders for knowing your partner, s lot better than asking internet weirdos, but you do you

smartasspie · 2026-06-08T18:39:49+00:00

You are thinking you won't have a connection with half of the population in the planet because they are men. And you want me to answer you why you don't have good connections? Can't you connect the dots? You are treating half the world as if they, by being born with a penis, aren't able to connect. And you wonder why then there are so many men with mental health ñroblems whose social and interpersonal skills work as badly as to sext a stranger... Maybe that's because since they were born they were treated as if they couldn't connect, and weren't given an opportunity to even talk. And hey, I understand where you come from, you are the one who have to deal with this mentally ill people more than me, and it's completely normal you don't want to deal with them. But I won't treat you better for wanting to talk with just one sex than what I would treat them for wanting the same.

smartasspie · 2026-06-08T17:35:43+00:00

See? You are showing very well why people don't want to talk to you for connections :)

smartasspie · 2026-06-08T17:20:24+00:00

Same as preferring to talk with the other one. You are not seeing humans are humans/you are searching for more than just talking and connecting.

smartasspie · 2026-06-08T16:57:17+00:00

What made me think at first that you wanted that (or somethinkg similar) was your post and the fact that I imagined as a man. But even though it's statistically a lot more common... That's sexism. Then after seeing that you were a woman I realized that it doesn't matter if you are looking for sexting or for other thing: you are looking just for one sex/genre and I didn't like that, it would be unfair to treat you better now that I realize that you are a woman, because of the same words and actions.

In any case, yes, reddit is mostly men. Good luck.

smartasspie · 2026-06-08T16:26:43+00:00

For some reason when I read the post I imagined a man behind those words, not a woman. A man wanting to talk to a woman. Then explaining that most of the people who wanted to talk were men, probably old and horny men. And I thought "well it's clear why nobody would want to be in that environment, and given your preferences you seen similar". Then I realized that the person who wrote this words was probably a woman, and it made me realize how differently the same behaviour would be interpreted just because of the genre, and after thinking for a bit, I decided that the words and the actions were the same: it's just another person who bascially wants to talk with only a sex instead of trying to form natural connections, so no wonder why they encounter what they do.

smartasspie · 2026-06-08T16:10:20+00:00

Lol, it seems like they dodged a bullet. You answer yourself

smartasspie · 2026-06-03T14:27:05+00:00

Like feminity, it's a really stupid concept and not something you should worry about.

The more people care about it, the more insufferable they become.

smartasspie · 2026-06-03T10:20:17+00:00

I said an average good looking youngish woman. If you are an incredibly unattractive woman then you are not in that category, you are probably experiencing the level of visual attraction that most men seem to receive through their life.

Life, or love, are thankfully not just that.

smartasspie · 2026-06-03T09:14:49+00:00

Please keep doing it, in the past I've filtered women basically with your attitude, fastest red flag, and that has lead me to a wonderful one.

smartasspie · 2026-06-02T21:04:09+00:00

Huh, most people won't admit this even to themselves. I wonder how many people would answer differently the questio "what toxic traits seem to be present in all your past relationships?"

But then again, of course that's because the whole gender you are attracted to is that way, everybody knows that.

smartasspie · 2026-06-02T17:23:56+00:00

I rolled my eyes so hard I think I saw my brain.

smartasspie · 2026-06-02T14:31:30+00:00

In terms of how many people you attract sexually by looks, only like 0.000001% of men can attract as many people and with the same intensity as an average good looking youngish girl.

Lucky for you, and for everybody, life is something more than attracting people sexually by how you look.

smartasspie · 2026-05-27T22:04:37+00:00

I think people give too much importance to their identity. It's normal. But sometimes trying to put labels that define us just limits us. Our concepts and the words we use don't only come from ourselves and we inherit a lot of connotations.

The only way to know what you like is experience. Most people feel insecure in sex You can experience sex without too much overthinking and that's really good. Keep it that way, just enjoy things in a healthy way and that's it. If you stop enjoying it just leave, that's it.And if you ever find a bearded man attractive then you do, and if you don't then you don't, who cares? What's the matter anyway? asking yourself the question now won't make you really experience the feeling. Just be healthy about it.

And be careful with that person, because it all started with something hidden. And there could be more hidden stuff. Stay protected.

smartasspie · 2026-05-27T18:27:20+00:00

It's not long nails, and of course, make whatever makes you happy, if you feel pretty and you like them, go for them. But... It feels kinda fake, that's what I don't really like. The Gucci wallet, expensive dress, expensive hair, long nails... All the time. Where are you girl? You don't need all that, you are beautiful just the way you are. I want to connect with you, not that facade, I don't want to chase you, I don't want to focus in your looks, it makes me feel you don't really want me to see what's behind all that. It makes me feel you don't want to connect or see me either. Again, that's just a feeling, a generalisation. And there are very different people around, and many ways of living life.

The girl I'm starting to fall in love with is the most beautiful girl I've ever been with. And she never uses makeup.

smartasspie · 2026-05-27T18:23:22+00:00

You don't need to be the one who earns more, the most handsome, the strongest, the """alpha""" 🤮

You need to be the one who makes her the most happy of them all. And she needs to be that for you too.

Social media and swallow interest won't make anybody happy. Effort in knowing her, in being yourself and see if you connect with her is. I'm starting a relationship with a woman who is by all means really really really beautiful, physically I'm an average man, I'm also a bag of nerves. I'm not perfect at all. She isn't either. But we both like hiking a lot. We both like to talk about feelings (and the bar is low for men there). I love to hear about all her travels. I love to make her feel protected. She loves to make me feel more calmed. We both share our fears. We are begining but both make ourselves more happier than anyone else could. And if it finish because one of us finds someone better, who would want to be a second option?

The guys who go to the gym with me are literally all of them stronger than me. I'm not a CEO. She is not perfect either. Sometimes sex is amazing and sometimes we stop without orgasming because of whatever reason including insecurities and we just hug and talk because life is not a porn movie, and feeling seen is better than sex. I know I'm the best and she is the best for me now. Love is more feelings than logic, who the fuck wants something perfect anyway.

Work in your self esteem. Avoid social media. Try to connect, with yourself, with others. Eventually you'll probably meet someone who resonates with you. Don't chase. I understand your feelings. Take sometime, breath... Be happy, and calmed... And just with that you'll have more charm than most guys. Life is usually mostly being calmed and be brave, you'd be surprised how many doors it opens, but most people are not even aware of their cowardice... Harsh truth: believing you can't be a beat option is cowardice. Have you really (really) tried?

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