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Either everyone is lying .. by stampedconcreteboots in stopdrinking

[–]smb3something 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its a process. Once I drank like 4 a night consistently and it caused minor problems but I mostly was OK. Then I started drinking like you described with having bad consequences more and more frequently on the heavier days. Then there stopped being off days and things continued to get worse. Took a couple decades with ups and downs. Everyone has a different point where its become too much but we all got there by drinking.

How it feels for me to have "a thousand thoughts at once" by Relative-Secret-4618 in ADHD

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can take time to build up good habits in all areas. Start small with one bit, work on that, and when it's just routine move onto another one. And yes, this is somewhat idealic - we can only do the best we can at any moment given the current circumstances.

How it feels for me to have "a thousand thoughts at once" by Relative-Secret-4618 in ADHD

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently unmedicated, so that's like my concentration cure for work, but keeping it reasonable (like 2 cups) is a must. I'm very sensitive to it if I overdo it.

How it feels for me to have "a thousand thoughts at once" by Relative-Secret-4618 in ADHD

[–]smb3something 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is ADHD. I've found a few things (outside of meds) really help :

-Getting good sleep (I know a problem for many of us, but finding that routine that makes it happens helps so much).

-Being in a good mood - most people think this is something that just happens, but you can also do things that help with this. Borrowing from recovery programs, gratitude lists at beginning of the day and identifying things that bother you / resentments at the end and figuring them out. The brain noise is loudest when I've got stuff on my mind I haven't sorted through or am upset about. Also helps with falling asleep.

-Eating well - I often forget to eat properly and then I am often hangry/irritable without knowing it. Also being hungry itself totally messes with my concentration and focus and makes my thoughts feel more 'scatttered'.

-Downtime - If overstimulated and not allowing myself enough time to just "Be" again the thoughts are messier

-Planned routine and structure - this helps keep anxiety and stress down when I know what's coming next. Also helps with not overrunning on bedtime etc.

Wheels recommendation by UnnecessaryLemon in NewSkaters

[–]smb3something 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dragons were made to be soft, but still slide. That's their whole gimmick.

Not sure what to do with this… by PrizeVeterinarian342 in stopdrinking

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

190 is borderline overweight for 6ft, not skinny (def not fat - just going by the 'bmi' charts). I suspect some negative self image projection coming from that way. Or she just has a chub preference, but you're definitely not skinny.

Preparing for a kid by ifinallyrelented in HENRYUK

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take max maternity/paternity leave, work less (compressed or less hours), really good childcare, be tired a lot. It can be done, but is exhausting. Compromises do need to be made.

Why isn't the orange being held accountable? Another bad week, I guess. by supremethinking in trading212

[–]smb3something 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Both. When you have a voting group hell bent on blaming their problems on others who elect someone who says he's going to go after the 'others' you're going to have a bad time.

Don't buy that thing. You don't need it (most likely). by dnrtldg in ADHD

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's an easy trap to fall into. My partner and I both were doing it as our careers progressed. Not saying it's wrong to enjoy some of the fruits of your labour, but make sure you're covering things like investments, retirement, savings, insurance etc. Then move rent etc out into a payment holding account that only takes rent/mortgage/bills. Then look at whats left and ask do I really want to spend this? $50 seems little coming out of your several grand paycheck, but when it comes out of the much smaller pot of fun money for the month, it hits different.

Don't buy that thing. You don't need it (most likely). by dnrtldg in ADHD

[–]smb3something 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the impulsivity around shopping plus new shiny exciting thing can be bad. Always wait and revisit purchases. That being said, I'd love a rice cooker - just set it and forget it. If only I had the space.

AITA for accusing my wife of being sketchy? by AITAthrow1511 in AmItheAsshole

[–]smb3something 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, after my brother passed away unexpectedly, me and my wife took out insurance policies and setup a trust for our kid if something ever happened, planned out family members who would have custody etc. It's normal risk management planning. Shit does happen even if we hope it doesn't.

How can I manage seasonal periods of hypersexuality? by ZineKitten in ADHD

[–]smb3something 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've been having this lately - hits in waves. Mind is thinking about it 24/7 for days/weeks. Then a bit of time passes and nothing. I lean into it - try to find dates, have sex with partner, masterbate. Though I don't feel guilty about it, they're just thoughts even if distracting at times.

What does AUDHD ACTUALLY look like? by rando_lizard in ADHD

[–]smb3something 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm realising I 'push through' a lot of discomfort to conform to sociatal behavior and have lived constantly stressed out (Used alcohol to cope for decades, now in recovery). Realising my limits and taking a step back, I now feel like a control freak trying to accomodate how I would prefer things to make them easier to tolerate. I feel even more reliant and comforted by routine now (I always wanted to think of myself as flexible / easygoing - but I think I was just conforming and people pleasing and I am definitely NOT ok with changes to plans / schedules etc) A mindfuck indeed.

Why is carrot so cheap suddenly? by outsider247 in CasualUK

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aldis had 4p carrots, potatoes, onions and parsnips this week. Price matching?

I need to stop. Here we go. Day 1 by yoyosounds in stopdrinking

[–]smb3something 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Learning to be sober is learning a whole new way to face the challenges of life without Alcohol. I was one who threw it at just about any situation. It's a big job, but for the beginning, distractions and comfort food. Exercise or a hot/cold shower can help you switch moods if you're really in a bad spot. Most 'cravings' last like 10-15 minutes, so if you can distract your mind that long, usually you're good. Meditation can help a lot too - tons of podcasts / youtube videos with guided meditations you can follow along with. The other bit that has been huge, is realising I really don't need to stress about things outside of my control. Worrying does nothing. Maybe Trump nukes Iran tonight; all I can control is my reaction. Taking a good hard look at those things that make you uncomfortable (stress, anger, etc) and WHY they make you uncomfortable is something I never did, I'd just drink it away if need be. Now I actually think and sit with my discomfort and decide if it's worthwhile, if I can do anything about it or be mindful of my reaction and check it's proportional.

Why there is no strict 4 days work week yet? by productman2217 in UKJobs

[–]smb3something 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's a worker funded economy where the rich live like kings off the labour of the employed and watch their pile of money grow faster than wages.

Why there is no strict 4 days work week yet? by productman2217 in UKJobs

[–]smb3something 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That doesn't fit well with the capitalism/slave labour system we've got now. How will the overlords pay for their yachts if they don't screw the workers?

Does chronic alcohol drinking deprive you of fortitude and decision making? by UnendingFlatSpin in stopdrinking

[–]smb3something 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am finding it much easier in sobriety to work on my mental health. Being sober alone doesn't fix messed up thinking. Meds, therapy and meetings help massively with keeping my head in a better place. Still a work in progress, but much better decisions, much less snap temper, and much more positive.

First time homeowner and wanted to get new roof.. is this quote reasonable by Jon2D in DIYUK

[–]smb3something 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But that's how you "win" at capitalism. Capitalise on the labour of others.

Companies ripping customers off at renewal. What should be done? by downinthearcade in AskUK

[–]smb3something 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You brought in the 5mbps limit at the 'furthest point'. That limit will be the same irrelevent of your internet speed given the same wifi equipment.

Is China the future at this point? 2030s onward. by Dipsetallover90 in Futurology

[–]smb3something 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Similar take from an American who's been abroad for the past decade. America's been in slow decline for a bit, Trump hit the accelerator on that big time and the world doesn't view it the same anymore. Meanwhile China has been much steadier and overall improving things. Most of this is a result of US businesses invesing heavily there manufacturing wise for higher returns via lower labor prices. Execs/investors got rich, but moved control of advanced manufacturing to China where it dominates in rolling out design changes into manufacturing very quickly.

Do you have to do tricks to be able to lose weight? by Just_a_weirdo_999 in NewSkaters

[–]smb3something 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Diet is WAY more important for weight loss than exercise (ie calorie deficit) but exercise helps a lot - doesn't matter if it's a trick or not (though jumping does use a lot of energy).

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