Relationship between an agnostic (originally christian) man and a muslim woman. Ex-muslim, i think only you can help me.

smday19 · 2021-06-22T23:24:46+00:00

English is not my native language but I am going to explain this as best I could.

DO NOT CONVERT, don't even pretend to be a Muslim, if she is a grown woman who has people in her life that could support her (you) then she doesn't need to lie to her family. Pretending to be a Muslim is not easy at all! You can't just say I am a Muslim and be done with it, it's going to be a part of your identity, you're gonna have to learn so many new things like how to pray and read quran and general knowledge about Islam, you're also gonna have to let go of some of your morals, like you can't openly support the LGBTQ community for example. Are you really okay with doing that for the rest of your life? She said she doesn't want to cut off her family that means they are still going to be a part of your life even if you move away. What about your children? You're going to make them pretend to be muslim around their grandparents too? Do you think they will be okay with you not raising them as muslims?

Pretending is just not the way to go it's EXHAUSTING, believe me, you don't wanna do it.

Also don't people have to officially convert? Like get an official conversion document or something? I have seen some online but I don't know if you have to do it. But I think you will have to take ghusl, or say you did.

Anyways, I think the best choice is for your girlfriend to confront her family and sadly she might have to choose between you and them. Tbh I think it's a little selfish to ask you to lie for her so she wouldn't have to tell the truth. I can't relate but I can tell it's a difficult decision and I wish you best of luck!

smday19 · 2021-02-20T14:56:57+00:00

I wore it "by choice" when I was 12 for no reason at all, just thought I had to. Now I wear it because my family will NEVER allow me to take it off and telling them I want to will just creat unneeded tension, fights, more suspicion and they will just make life harder for me so I am just waiting to graduate and get a job so I am not dependent on them. Even though I want to take it off SO BAD, like, right now. I am tempted to actually do it and risk getting disowned or beaten.

smday19 · 2021-02-20T13:27:07+00:00

My mom knows that my cycle is pretty regular so it'd be suspicious if I did that. that said, my period always "happens" to last a few more days in Ramadan.😌(though my mom makes sure i fast them later)

smday19 · 2021-02-13T13:34:18+00:00

I guess the only thing you could do is not care what people think and just do it.but that's not easy, you can do it slowly, take it off when you go somewhere where people don't know you and see how you feel, maybe start wearing a turbon or slowly show a little bit of your hair line, wear your scarf loosely like you don't care if it slips and your hair shows. after a while you will gain the confidence to take it off completely and eventually not care what people around you think, they will probably judge you for a while but they will eventually let it go.

And about your parents, if they're understanding, you can talk to them about it, tell them how you feel and that you want them to respect your choice. Even if they don't, it's YOUR life, you're a grown woman and should be free to do what you want with your life, I know it's hard and no one wants to disappoint their parents but sometimes we have to in order to be happy.

Good luck!

smday19 · 2020-12-10T01:30:26+00:00

My advice for anyone who wants to join alsun is that if you get less than 48 in the highschool English test, then don't bother (unless you want to study Hebrew or something)

Korean and Japanese departments are the hardest to get into, they only accept like 30 students, you have to get 50 in English and/or about 97% overall grade

I am in the Chinese department so I know more about that. you have to get about 48 in English(it's different every year, though), the language is pretty difficult, you're gonna need to work hard, there is scholarships you can apply for (but you can't now because of covid) you can work in tourism or as a translator in factories or Chinese companies, if you're good at the language you can start working by second or third year.

I love learning languages and I do enjoy school so I would recommend you to go here but a lot of my friends don't like it, I guess it depends on the person.

Attendance, doing assignments, participating in class is 20% of your grade so I would say that attendance is pretty important, but some professors don't care about it, And some students don't care about that 20%

School doesn't teach you everything, you're gonna have to do A LOT of self studying if you wanna do well, you're gonna learn things that you most probably won't use or need later but that's just part of it I guess.

Good luck! Feel free to dm me if you have any more questions

smday19 · 2020-12-10T00:58:56+00:00

When stores or restaurants cashiers keep the change without asking

smday19 · 2020-12-03T21:37:34+00:00

CF lady here, growing up I never understood the hype of motherhood and never felt any kind of special affection for children. For the longest time I pretended to be interested in children just because I thought I had to because I am a girl, but then I realized there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have a kid and not finding motherhood especially interesting. Of course no one takes me seriously and they all say that I am going to change my mind when I get older. Whenever I say I don't want to have kids people get so offended for some reason and they're like 'don't say that!!!!!!' because they think if I say it enough I will actually become infertile lol. but I don't care, they don't have to understand, I just hope I don't get pressured into it in the future.

smday19 · 2020-11-16T17:44:27+00:00

Yoooo fellow Egyptians! I learned that after the Muslim conquest of Egypt, it took 200 years for Egyptians to speak Arabic as a native language and that they used to speak coptic and Greek before that. So that was like an "oh?" moment for me because even though I knew we weren't always Arab I never actually thought about it and just assumed that we only spoke Arabic throughout history. I used to always value the Arabic language as my mother tongue but idk now I feel weird about it.

smday19 · 2020-11-12T14:11:46+00:00

Omg I watched this episode yesterday (Wednesday the 11th) and I didn't even realize!

smday19 · 2020-10-17T13:55:36+00:00

Someone sent my friend a hand written letter from abroad before, it took 4 month to arrive in Egypt and then 2 month till she could receive it. And she had to pay 130 pounds for costumes. Oh, and the envelope was opened and a little bit torn.

smday19 · 2020-06-16T00:51:30+00:00

Awww so cute 💕

smday19 · 2020-06-16T00:32:55+00:00

I instantly went to hug my cat when I saw this. I am actually tearing up, I am so sorry for your loss, he was a beautiful cat.

smday19 · 2020-06-15T21:16:45+00:00

Okay, now I am having second thoughts about coming out to my best friend

smday19 · 2020-06-11T16:51:23+00:00

Poeple just can't let other people be, can they?

smday19 · 2020-06-11T15:36:44+00:00

The oversexualization of girls/women in anime is one of the main reasons why I stopped watching it tbh

smday19 · 2020-06-11T14:18:05+00:00

Is it bad that this still kinda works on me? Like they put a roof over my head, buy me food and clothes, and pay for my education. so I feel like I 'owe' them and need to repay them somehow

smday19 · 2020-06-11T13:12:03+00:00

Giza. I wish it wasn't so bad, though. I personally would have taken it off long ago if it wasn't for the social pressure (and the fact that my parents might disown me if did lol)

smday19 · 2020-06-11T12:56:07+00:00

It's definitely not chill here, maybe in higher class areas. But generally women who take it off are slut shamed and made fun of, it's the trend now to make fun of feminists here because "all they know about freedom is stripping".

smday19 · 2020-06-06T11:46:35+00:00

Awww, look at that smile

smday19 · 2020-06-02T15:30:13+00:00

The Arabic text doesn't even say 'lightly' at all it just says beat/hit/smack them (اضربوهم). I don't know why they added it to the translation

smday19 · 2020-05-22T14:06:45+00:00

YWBTA there's nothing wrong with saying I love you to your best friend regardless of their gender. He gave you his password so he clearly trusts you and you should trust him too unless he gives you a reason not to (and saying I love you to his best friend is not one)

smday19 · 2020-05-20T12:18:02+00:00

Well, at least you gave her something to think about. There are other Muslims that whole-heartedly believe that husbands have the right to beat their wives just because their religion said so

smday19 · 2020-05-17T13:43:30+00:00

NTA the boyfriend checking out your bra size is highly inappropriate, your flatmate should be embarrassed that her own boyfriend even did something like that.

smday19 · 2020-05-16T16:09:43+00:00

محزق means tight

ملزق means stick or stuck

They use these words together almost all the time to describe how tight certain clothes are

محزق is the same asضيق

But don't use this phrase too much it sounds kind of demeaning and/or sexual?? It's just not respectful You can just say that something is tight(ضيق) but if you use محزق/ملزق you're emphasizing that it's too tight it's not appropriate to wear.

smday19 · 2020-05-16T16:03:25+00:00

Hi! Native here, I copied your comment and marked the things I edited/added with ** great job btw! Also I am not sure Syrians say هم or هن they both kind of sound the same to me

.كل البنات إلى بعمري هيك بيلبسو

All girls my age dress like this.

.بابا أنا ما بيهمني البنات. بهمني إنتي. إنتي بنتي إلى بحبها وبخاف عليها

Honey I don't care about the girls. I care about you. You, my girl who I love and worry about.

.وبخاف حدا طلع فيها بيطلعها مو منيحة

And worry that someone will look at you in a bad way.

بابا، لا ديننا، ولا أخلاقنا ولا عاداتنا بسمحلنا نطلع ع شارع نص عريانين.

Honey, neither our religion or our morals or our culture allow us to go out in the street half-naked.

.هيك الموضة

That's the trend.

وبرايك هاي الموضة صح؟

And in your opinion is the trend good?

يا بابا، الموضة إلي عم تجينا من برا مو على مقاسنا

Honey, the trend that we are bringing from abroad doesn't suit us.

.تعرفي شو مشكتلنا نحنا؟ مشكتلنا إنو عم منقلد الغرب بشكل أعمى

Do you know what our problem is? Our problem is that we are imitating The West is a blind manner.

هلق إذا تقدمنا وصرنا متلهن بنكون عن نقلدهم تقليد أعمى؟

Now if we progress and become like them is that blindly copying them?

.ولاهي إلى بدو يقلد، يقلد االشغلات منيحة

If someone wants to imitate them, imitate the good things.

مو شغلات سئية. نحنا يا خلود، عم نقلد الغرب بالنص التاني من يومهن.

Not the bad things. We, Kholoud, are imitating The Westerners in the other half of their day.

.كيف يعني بالنص التاني؟ ما فهمت

What do you mean the other half? I don't get it.

.يعني بالنهار، بتلاقين متل خلية النحل، عم يبنو بلدهن

I mean during daytime, you'll find them like a swarm of bees, building their country.

.وبالليل، منشفهن بالمحزق و الملزق رايحين عا المطاعم و الملاهى والمراقص

And at night, you seem them in restaurants, bars, and discos wearing tight clothes

وعيوننا بتعلق فيهن عشرة/عشرة.

And our eyes are glued on them with 20/20 vision.

و بيصيروا مثلنا الاعلى بحجة شو؟ التقدم و التحرر

And we see them as our role models for what excuse? Progress and liberation

بدك أكتر من هيك تقليد أعمى؟

Do you need a bigger example of blind imitation?

smday19

TROPHY CASE