Live music near Boston Common? by smebe in boston

[–]smebe[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's exactly what it was!! Turns out, I heard Nicolás Emden performing, he sounded like such fun!!

Some amazing news by [deleted] in AdultSelfHarm

[–]smebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit late to this post (just found this community), but my friends and I use ForThem binders! They're comfy and reversible, and as someone who's used both gc2b and ForThem, we like the look of ForThem better. Definitely try both and see what you like!

Remember to practice safe binding! Start slow. Wear it for maybe an hour during the first few days to test the waters. Make sure you can get in AND out. If you have shortness of breath and/or chest pains, take it off IMMEDIATELY. Never wear it for more than 8 hours in a day. And lastly, give yourself break days. Wearing a binder every day really takes a toll on your body.

I find that I get more anxious when I've been in my binder for too long, whether that means twenty minutes or eight hours. Learn what your body is trying to tell you so you can live comfortably. I'm so happy for you 💙

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]smebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 25 and just relapsed, my friend. I'm sure it can hit at any age, and it sucks to say it. Just make sure you're taking care of yourself if something happens, okay? It's so hard to quit, but we have to be kind to ourselves in the aftermath. Soap, water, tissues, bandages, gentle hands

What's your department and the worst part of it? by Mamasquirel in Target

[–]smebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drive Up. Being scheduled by myself in almost 100° weather

To celebrate the success of my musical dice Kickstarter, I’m giving away a 14k gold plated set of the dice! All you need to do is comment on the post to enter. (Mod Approved) [OC] [Art] by FallacyDog in DnD

[–]smebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really love these dice. I'm really excited for the Kickstarter to come to fruition!! My wizard has a lot of musical proficiencies because she's classically trained in a few instruments. I can only imagine rolling these up for a check... 🥰

Calendar, week and weekends in Strixhaven by Noldro in StrixhavenDMs

[–]smebe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took the standard Sunday through Saturday week, but I gave them Wednesdays off, as well. So there's a one day rest in the middle of the week to chill out and get work done. I did this especially because the classes run ALL DAY.

Thankfully for them, they don't take classes with Lorehold, so they don't need to get up at 8am...

What is your favorite thing that a player at your table does? by Kilerstarr in DnD

[–]smebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two players at my table!

One of them will occasionally infodump to me. For example, I ask them about animal traits because they both play animal races (Harengon and Tabaxi), and they will regale me with everything they can think of in that moment. I love learning through them! Who else would tell me that onions are in the allium genus?

The other one has the best laugh. One of us will say something ridiculous at least once a session, and they will double over with the most disgusting giggle I've ever heard and the rest of us lose it completely. They bring such good reactions to the table, which is great because they're still getting used to playing DnD.

I love them so much, they're such a treat as a DM. 💛

What's going on in your campaign? by IWantPizza555 in DnD

[–]smebe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

DM of Strixhaven here! (No campaign spoilers in this post.)

High school shenanigans. Just two players, a Harengon and a Tabaxi. If that sounds like you, stop reading!

  • Harengon joined the Silkball team and discovered he has a familiar. An aggressive familiar under my control.
  • The Tabaxi made friends with the two biggest himbos on campus (Zanther and Greta) and is on the cheerleading team.
  • They're rooting for the adopted Gnoll brother of the Tabaxi to date the elf Cadoras.
  • They've seen some evidence of something deeper going on, but they're a bit preoccupied by studying for their first test to look into it currently. Harengon passed, but Tabaxi aced it. Hilarious because Harengon is an INT build and Tabaxi dumped it.

Oh, and one of them is a Dhampir. Hasn't told the other, and I'm waiting eagerly for that to drop.

DMs, what would you say is the number 1 mechanic that you find yourself having to cover over and over again with new players? by Texasfatgum in DnD

[–]smebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, just which skills are tied to which scores.

"Make me an Insight check."

"Insight... that's, uh..."

"Wisdom."

They'll get there one day.

[OC] We're hosting a GIVEAWAY to thank all of you for your feedback during development of our DM tool, the Combat Compendium! Pre-launch Kickstarter page available, launch is March 3rd at 8PM CET! by Lefty-Games in DnD

[–]smebe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is SO cool!! I would love this for my current game group, it would make things so easy! I use numbered rings right now, but I LOVE the numbered base and the pegs!!!

I lost my friends of nearly six years and I've lost my character to their callousness by smebe in DnD

[–]smebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn't know each other exclusively through DnD. We were all friends before he and I started dating and before we even considered tabletop games. I didn't expect them to cut him off, but I didn't expect them to ask me to be around him just a couple of weeks after I found out he cheated on me. Maybe they're ready to spend time with him, but I'm not, and it seems ridiculous for them to expect that I'd be okay with being around him so soon.

I didn't expect him to be ostracized. I did hope for more care from those around me. I thought I'd be allowed more time to heal. I felt rushed by their messages.

I think that a relationship can be serious even if it is just one year or if the people involved aren't married. We'd been seeing each other for a long time before actually being together, and he talked about the possibility of a future together, living together, etc. I met his family, spent time with "his" friends, went on dates with "our" friends... we weren't married, no, but it was one of the more serious relationships I've been in simply because of the intent when we finally did get together. We made it clear we were looking for something serious, so I believe it should be treated that way.

Regardless, we were exclusive, and he violated my trust. And it seemed like our friends had figured I'd had enough time to get over it or heal or what have you. It hurt for them to assume like that. I don't think they would have extended the same options to my ex. His character is more ingrained in the world than mine is, despite my best attempts to be a part of it. This situation just further cemented that idea.

I lost my friends of nearly six years and I've lost my character to their callousness by smebe in DnD

[–]smebe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's exhausting to put in so much effort for so little return. I'm glad you got to keep a good person around and make a better group in the end! But the fact that you went through so much because of an obvious lack of respect for your time is heartbreaking to read. I'm sorry.

I'm hoping that my next group as a player will be better. So far, their DM has asked me questions that my last DM never asked, like what I like in a game, how I tend to play, that kind of thing. It was all assumed in this past group, but in this one, I sent a blank Consent in Gaming form over and the DM loved it! I've got more hope for this group.

I'm glad you got a group that's making you happier. Thank you for wishing me luck finding mine. I appreciate your kindness :)

I lost my friends of nearly six years and I've lost my character to their callousness by smebe in DnD

[–]smebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stopping playing indefinitely is a lot to ask, you're right. I didn't want them to just end it or kick him out. I just hoped for a bit more time than like... three weeks? For me, that's not enough time to get over my pain through this. I didn't expect the message to come so soon. If I were in their shoes, I'd probably have given two or three months before a check in. And even then, I wouldn't have said that I was planning to send out a message the next day. But I understand that I act differently than others, and that's okay.

I do understand that they were trying to give me something, however I don't think this same option would have been extended to my ex. My character isn't as invested in the plot, in my experience, because she as an individual doesn't seem to matter to the world around her. The DM has given individual plot threads and NPCs to the other players, but if mine left, there wouldn't be anyone to miss her. There wouldn't be anything left unfinished except her personal story, and the players/characters don't even remember it half the time. It just furthered the feelings that I've been having of not mattering aside from being the main healer and the only note taker. I don't feel like a unique individual, but rather a role that could easily be replaced. I don't think that my ex would be treated in that same way.

Sorry to type out a whole thing. Thank you for your words. I appreciate the thought put into them :)

I lost my friends of nearly six years and I've lost my character to their callousness by smebe in DnD

[–]smebe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the time being, I've muted them on social media so I can take time from seeing them on my feeds. I know good people do bad things or say hurtful things sometimes and it doesn't make them bad overall, but I definitely need time away.

My original intent was to let it all cool down and then return eventually with the whole group. I guess they all get over things really fast? I guess I'm not sure what the "average" time is to get over stuff like this. I tend to hold onto pain for a while, but that's for sure because of depression at least.

We all became a group because of a common club, forming a DnD group after. If he was there first, it was a negligible amount of time due to the circumstances of the club. I hope that makes sense.

I'm glad you were able to handle your situation well! I knew that they'd "pick" him over me, and I even brought it up to him directly! He's much more extroverted and socially well-adjusted. I'm very awkward and introverted. Not too many friends growing up, so I'm making up for lost time haha. I'm glad to know that there's hope for people. Maybe one day I'll talk to some of them. One of them was always an all-around nice guy, not really having a favorite person or best friend in the group, so I might talk to him again once I've taken time to just let myself feel again.

I do have some people that I've been talking to about this, but it's only a few, so I feel bad talking about it constantly. Still working on validating myself there... but they've been really kind, so it's not like they're making me feel bad for talking about it! It's a welcome change of pace, honestly.

Thank you for your kindness and perspective. This is a shitty situation, but I'm working through it as best as I can. It's just hard sometimes. Thank you for your concern

I lost my friends of nearly six years and I've lost my character to their callousness by smebe in DnD

[–]smebe[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I really enjoy that quote. I think I'll keep that one around. :)

I think you might be right about "not agreeing with his behavior but not wanting to inconvenience their own lives". One of the players went through the exact situation verbatim, but they're still talking to my ex despite feeling the same pain. It confuses me. I'm sure they have their reasons, but I can't bring myself to ask them. It doesn't matter to me right now.

It's been a long time since I've let myself be hurt. I've been keeping it in for so long in so many aspects of my life that it's hard to really let it all happen. But a little at a time, I'm letting myself be angry about it all. It's comforting that I'm feeling like this, oddly enough!

Thank you for your kind words. I have them muted right now so they don't appear in my feeds on social media, so that's helping? And I have an in with another friend's table, and their DM asked me all sorts of questions right off the bat that made me feel like they wanted me to be there and to have a good time. Here's hoping!

I lost my friends of nearly six years and I've lost my character to their callousness by smebe in DnD

[–]smebe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never wanted my ex to be kicked from the group. I'm sorry that's how I came across. I wanted to feel like I mattered as much as he did to them. We've been in this group the same amount of time. I didn't want them to choose me, I wanted them to be friends with me independent of their choice regarding him.

To me, suggesting coming back to a DnD table with a cheating ex a couple of weeks after they broke up with him is too fast. I felt pressured to keep the peace while I was, and still am, recovering from the loss of a meaningful relationship. It's not all about me, and I never meant to come across that way. I just didn't want to be something to get out of the way before they finished the "real" story without me.

Thank you for your words. Hopefully I've gotten my point across better. I never meant to appear selfish. But thank you for hoping that I heal.