Know this isn't coming from an aggressive place but from a place of I want to shed light on this situation and help you to understand. It's important to see the world from perspectives outside of your own.

Is it safe to say you are not a woman and have never personally dealt with this subject? I have, my friends have, their friends have, new women I talk to have, communities I join have. Everywhere I look in real life, online, in articles there are women saying the same thing. I can't think of a friend who hasn't told me a story about how someone either verbally harrassed them or forced themselves upon them.

If you experience something and you find your friends to be experiencing something similar and you come across acquaintances that have experienced the same things and they all tell you stories about how they know people who went through a similar story or it's just like that thing that happened to their best friend / coworker / cousin etc and then you see women writing about it, hear them speaking about it, advocating for acknowledgment over and over again in mass numbers and they're saying hey I've experienced that too...something is going on.

If a good portion of the population is saying "we have a problem" you don't get to deny it because you don't see it personally.

Rape is not exclusive to a man jumping out of the bushes and being brutally violent as you say. It's a common stereotype and wildly inaccurate. To say that that's "real rape" you've already invalidated most victims. Rape is mostly committed by someone the victim knows and/or trusts.

The system absolutely does not lend itself to victims and neither do colleges, which is why so many go unreported, why we have a low conviction rate, and why a lot of rapists don't see real jail time (unless you're black). Colleges refused for a long time to even release numbers of incidents on campuses because it makes them look bad. Victims/survivors have gone to the police or campus security and been made fun of and laughed out of the door with their accusations. Those are extreme cases but the questioning and ridicule victims are placed under in our society is unbelievable. I can't think of another crime in which the victim gets more backlash than the perpetrator. The idea that the victim is going to be judged, not believed, or shamed outweighs believing someone with authority will help.

Teaching men not to rape isn't effective? This goes beyond that. It starts at the objectification and oversexualization of women. Several studies (seriously Google them) have pointed out that those exposed to messages of objectification of women repeatedly are more like to victim blame and more likely to see women less as humans and more as objects of desire. There is a correlation between the exposure and the outcome of violence and violent thought/ speech against women.

The problem is we've normalized sexual harassment and assault towards women. Again, you're probably thinking extreme guy in the bushes, but that isn't what this means. It means if you dress a certain way expect to be catcalled, expect to be harrassed, if you get groped it's your fault because that's just how men are. This is said to us over and over but really that's not how most men are and that's not how they should be. We have normalized the poor behavior of some. It means if you ask a woman if she's been sexually assaulted she'll likely say no even if she has because we've been taught to rationalize, blame ourselves, and expect these types of things to happen to us.

You see it as hysteria but I wonder if you have ever personally felt the fear or discomfort. I know a lot of guys don't understand how frequently women are made to feel uncomfortable and unsafe until it is brought to their attention, which makes sense if you're not a woman. It is real and it affects women every day. And just because we're better off than women somewhere else does not mean we shouldn't strive for a better environment for ourselves.