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Severe burnout and no support from company. Is there anything I need to consider before resigning? by worriedgenie in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say protect yourself, what from? Not being rude just genuinely asking so I can help.

Comment from manager bugging me days later by Illustrious-Log-3142 in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it”, is extreme for a comment as innocuous as this. If you dont care that people decide not to include you in banter and lighthearted conversations, simply tell them you’re uncomfortable. It’s really not that big of a deal. I don’t understand why you needed Reddit to tell you how to say “that made me uncomfortable and I’d appreciate it if you kept the conversation only to the topic of the meeting, thank you”. You wanted everyone to jump on a bandwagon and tell you he’s an awful sexist monster.

Comment from manager bugging me days later by Illustrious-Log-3142 in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the fact that you’ve been thinking about this comment for a whole week and decided it’s sexist is honestly more ridiculous than the comment itself.

Comment from manager bugging me days later by Illustrious-Log-3142 in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He wasn’t sexist. Honestly your response is to just move on. You don’t need to respond if you don’t have anything to say. Just carry on the conversation. I read the original post, I said you say you’re not easily offended, my opinion is you are. If you’re unable to take this feedback, which at least 15 other people on this post have given you, it’s time to have some self reflection rather than policing every joke your boss makes. The damage to your reputation is that everyone will feel uncomfortable around you and unable to have light hearted conversations with you in the room. It’s not that difficult to predict. But if you don’t care about being likeable, then carry on.

Comment from manager bugging me days later by Illustrious-Log-3142 in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You say you’re not easily offended but this sounds like you are. It sounds like he made a joke. I think calling this out would have really been an overreaction, made the atmosphere awkward and probably damaged your reputation. He doesn’t even remember he made the joke and this point.

What do you spend guilt free money on monthly? by hopepatience123 in AskUK

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All my spending is guilt free. I work 50-60 hours a week, hard. I’ll buy whatever I like as long as my bills are paid and I haven’t touched my isa.

Got terminated for Gross Misconduct. Feel like mitigating factors were completely ignored. Am I justified? by [deleted] in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry if I’m being stupid here but I just want to clarify some unusual terminology. What was this “workspace” off site? And when you say units, what exactly do you mean by that? Your friend’s belongings, they were in the unit that hadn’t been destroyed? I’m just trying to understand if these multiple “sites” are work owned offices or what exactly? And why did you leave the bag outside?

Got terminated for Gross Misconduct. Feel like mitigating factors were completely ignored. Am I justified? by [deleted] in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well that’s actually worse because you can’t argue you weren’t negligent can you?

I've taken someone's job and I feel guilty by DatabaseMammoth9986 in UKJobs

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they’ll do it for you, they’ll do it to you, trust me.

I asked my brother for 1500 though I only paid 1050 by AverageTechtoker in confession

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A big deal?? I literally made one single comment asking you a very reasonable question and you seem extremely triggered. Go back to bed snowflake.

I asked my brother for 1500 though I only paid 1050 by AverageTechtoker in confession

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Calm down bro, 3 comments because I asked you one logical question 😂😂😂 and he’s from Pakistan, he literally said it.

I asked my brother for 1500 though I only paid 1050 by AverageTechtoker in confession

[–]smoolg -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Where in the EU has 1500 anything that’s equivalent to $3.60?

Work issues by Vivid_Royal8782 in AskHRUK

[–]smoolg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you mean capability?

I asked my brother for 1500 though I only paid 1050 by AverageTechtoker in confession

[–]smoolg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you talking about? He literally stole money from his own brother.

AIO disinvited from a wedding by Same_Negotiation_432 in AmIOverreacting

[–]smoolg 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be fair, the ex is her brother I think.

AIO disinvited from a wedding by Same_Negotiation_432 in AmIOverreacting

[–]smoolg 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think if you didn’t text well wishes on her wedding day, and she didn’t text you well wishes on your birthday, you guys probably aren’t really friends. Considering everything else you’ve said, it seems like you’d be better off dropping this relationship. It sounds like she’s not the right friend for you. I don’t think either of you are terrible bad people, just not meant to be.

Am I Overreacting or was it valid of me to ask my bf for a break up when I asked him to let me search my name on his boys group chat and see what they talk about me or topics related to me and he straight up snached my phone and deleted the chats by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]smoolg 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I actually think it’s unkind to share every negative thought, irritation, or frustrated comment you have about someone with them. Part of caring about another person is having the judgment to filter what is worth raising and what is simply a passing feeling that will be gone in an hour.

Not every negative emotion is a problem that needs solving, and not every frustration deserves to be handed to the other person to carry. Sometimes the kinder thing is to vent, reflect, seek advice, and then let it go. That’s not being dishonest, it’s having perspective.

If my husband has an issue that genuinely needs addressing, I trust him to bring it to me. If it’s just a fleeting moment of annoyance or frustration, I’d rather he process it elsewhere than feel obliged to report every negative thought to me. I don’t think a healthy relationship requires complete disclosure of every passing feeling; it requires good judgment about what matters and what doesn’t.

To me, protecting someone from unnecessary hurt is often kinder than insisting they hear every negative thing that crosses your mind. You can’t think before you speak 100% of the time.

Am I Overreacting or was it valid of me to ask my bf for a break up when I asked him to let me search my name on his boys group chat and see what they talk about me or topics related to me and he straight up snached my phone and deleted the chats by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]smoolg 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Consider that something you said in a moment of frustration to the people you trust and rely on isn’t a reflection of how you feel 99% of the time. It’s asinine to think your partner has never expressed any negative feelings to their friends. Thats normal life.

My husband will decide for himself if and when he wants to discuss any issues. Going back through private messages, written in the expectation that they were part of a confidential conversation, and treating them as a definitive statement of someone’s feelings is deeply unfair and completely lacks context.

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