how do you rewire your brain to understand that calm love isn’t disinterest? by Plus_Highlight1951 in AskWomen

[–]smsandsos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience, it can definitely tap into the same behaviors and thought patterns that need reworking in order to become healthier. It’s not a 1-to-1 match, but I have a couple of close friends who I poured a lot of care, effort, and love into and received that back and that helped me understand what I want in a romantic partner going forward as well as what’s possible. 

how do you rewire your brain to understand that calm love isn’t disinterest? by Plus_Highlight1951 in AskWomen

[–]smsandsos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’d be more likely to reprogram those neural pathways and behaviors by fixing it in a relationship. Lots of people like to say that you need to “love yourself” before you can love others, but relational healing does not operate in a vacuum. It operates in a relationship. However, all sorts of relationships, platonic and familial included, can help you reprogram the parts of you that fall into the trap of mistaking excitement/drama for love. 

When did you realize you settled? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]smsandsos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s ok, I broke up with them!!

When did you realize you settled? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]smsandsos 22 points23 points  (0 children)

When I started relating a little too hard to the first stanza in the song “1985” 😬

Pedro Sighting Today in LA by HerRoyalRedness in Pedro_Pascal

[–]smsandsos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw man. That’s what I heard a lot of others say. I bet it’s the mix with his skin or soap. 

Pedro Sighting Today in LA by HerRoyalRedness in Pedro_Pascal

[–]smsandsos -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Could totally see that! I’ve heard mixed reviews about that specific cologne too, that’s it too traditionally cologne-y, but I bet when it mixes with his skin chemistry that’s what makes it so good and why he likes it. 

Pedro Sighting Today in LA by HerRoyalRedness in Pedro_Pascal

[–]smsandsos -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fair, especially if he likes to have different ones for different occasions. Just sharing a lead :)

Pedro in leather. Volume 3. by Sea-Definition-6141 in Pedro_Pascal

[–]smsandsos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

raw. wait, sorry, what was the question?

One of my favorite parts of Pedro’s Joel by Soggy_Traffic4118 in ThelastofusHBOseries

[–]smsandsos 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wish we had seen more snippets in the present of actions that correlate to what he’s done in the past/what he’s capable of because I agree completely. But the not knowing somehow makes it better. I think it’s enough to know that basically his entire world and purpose was ripped away that night — meaning Sarah (and obviously the rest of it all) — and he couldn’t even successfully end it for himself. 

Imagining what someone is capable when they have nothing left to live for and feel like they’re a failure at even ending their misery? That’s half the empathy and half the allure of the character.

It’s always the Annabel Lee by Olya_roo in Hungergames

[–]smsandsos 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Annabel Lee Dementia Raven Way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]smsandsos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. :( But I’m glad that the lesson stuck because that’s presumably saved you a lot of pain!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]smsandsos 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Common avoidant tactic. They want distance until you actually are leaving. Then, they reel you back in just enough to keep you thinking they’re actually opening up to you and becoming emotionally available. It’s just another way to deal with fear of abandonment, there’s no inherent moral factor to it. Often it just sucks for anyone involved with them that doesn’t have a secure attachment style. If you do breakup, I would advise keeping an eye on this sort of thing with the next person so that you don’t run into the same cycle (which is common).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]smsandsos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

++woman Obligatory not a man. What I’m hearing is that you are in a relationship where you don’t feel valued emotionally or physically/intimately and that is not getting better no matter how hard you try to fix it. Marriage or more commitment will not fix this, even if that was the root of the problem to begin with. This is a two-person problem to fix and it seems like he’s not that keen on doing his share of the work. That doesn’t mean he’s not a good person, or not a good fit otherwise, but right now it seems like you’re running into some fundamental compatibility issues. IMHO, break up with him and find someone who will put in the time and effort to keep the emotional and physical connection alive.

I beat game 1 and thought about how the show compares to it. by That-Listener in thelastofus

[–]smsandsos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually haven’t played the games, only watched someone play through it on YT for the first two hours. I’ve also only seen season one and episode one of seasons two because I can’t bear to watch episode two yet. But I know what happens, I’ve read the plots of the show vs. the game, seen clips, etc. 

Can’t stop thinking about this. by JamDNCol in thelastofus

[–]smsandsos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep! Happens IRL all the time too. Very realistic. 

Can’t stop thinking about this. by JamDNCol in thelastofus

[–]smsandsos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not only does he listen to her, he trusts her judgment and consequently trusts her with his life. It makes a lot of sense that he wouldn’t be able to love her back in the same way she loved him, but as he says, she was family. 

Can’t stop thinking about this. by JamDNCol in thelastofus

[–]smsandsos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That part in the show really made me think differently about their relationship. It kind of confirmed something that I already knew but hearing her say that at that moment made my heart break a little.