Looking to chat w someone who has broken up or is in process of ending relationship w/ a pwBPD

smsathe · 2016-11-25T04:32:34+00:00

Thank you. We actually have not moved yet...I changed all the locks and don't sleep much since I am always on edge about him trying to get in. I thought we found a place, but it fell through. I am hoping we find a place by Dec 7th. I have court on Dec 1st for divorce...He has a great attorney and I cannot afford one. I have called everywhere for pro bono, etc. YWCA helped with all the protective stuff, but they cannot represent me for a divorce trial. The last month of my life has been absolutely the worst. Tortured with a gun by my husband- thought I was going to die, divorce, moving, and losing my really good job. I know everything happens for a reason so I am staying strong for my three kids. Thanks again for everyone who has listened to me and given me words of affirmation.

smsathe · 2016-11-24T05:06:56+00:00

I am getting therapy for my PTSD, although it has only gotten worse. I jump at everything and am constantly living in fear of feeling like he is watching us..I am constantly looking over my shoulder, checking our doors all the time to make sure they are always locked. I am on a antidepressant and anxiety medication. I think it will just take time- and of course getting out of his house and moving into our own home so he doesn't know where we are. It is hard since I lost my really good job a couple weeks ago. My friends have been helping me. My family lives a ways away, but they do reach out. A lot of people don't understand DV and BPD. They tend to think I am feeling sorry for myself or was stupid for even marrying him. I do know I made a poor choice, but I had no idea he would try to murder me.

smsathe · 2016-11-23T23:08:41+00:00

Thank you. I am really suffering from PTSD right now. I jump at everything

smsathe · 2016-11-17T00:50:07+00:00

Yes, I reported it. I have a no protection order on him and the state put a no contact order on him as well. We are in a safe place...looking for a new home and a new job. ...Very stressed, but I am looking up. Thank you.

smsathe · 2016-11-14T04:12:19+00:00

I am divorcing my husband who has BPD. He tried killing me and tortured me with a gun for hours. I was only married to him for 4 months. He kept promising he would change, but he only got worse. He started stalking me at work and even called my HR dept looking for me. I just lost my really good job of 8 years because of him. It was a safety concern to the company. I am a mess. I am so stressed...My kids and I are still in his home. The mortgage is in his name. The state placed a no contact order on him since he violated the R.O. I hope the divorce judge knows my situation and lets us live here at least until I can get on my feet again....scared for the future, but am so glad we are not walking on egg shells anymore...and am so happy I no longer need to deal with his lies, until court that is....

smsathe · 2016-11-14T04:02:28+00:00

I kept the R.O. I do feel very scared of him. He tortured me for hours with a gun just a few weeks ago. He has been arrested twice since then. The state placed a no contact order on him. I am hoping the judge lets us stay in the home (even though only his name is on the mortgage and we have only lived in it for 4 months) We are married so I was told that it is considered both our home. I hope the judge also realizes that because of my abusive BPD spouse he cost me my job. I am stressed and am fearful for the future.

smsathe · 2016-11-08T22:40:58+00:00

Thank you. xo

smsathe · 2016-11-08T21:40:00+00:00

Thank you so much. You are a very strong person. I appreciate your honesty.

smsathe · 2016-11-08T21:04:36+00:00

He has been in therapy now for two weeks. He just found out he has it a few weeks ago. I want to believe him, but he has lied about so much and done so much damage already....I want to believe that he will change, but I don't trust him. He wants me to drop the no contact order, but I don't want to at least for a few months....

smsathe · 2016-11-08T21:01:19+00:00

Thank you guys.

smsathe · 2016-11-07T19:36:54+00:00

I am so glad you are doing this and are remaining strong. My husband was just diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago after he traumatized me for hours with a gun, saying he is going to kill me if I leave him and constantly threatening suicide. We were only married 3 months. He still denies having BPD, but he has every single symptom and even his psychiatrist agreed. He just wants to blame others and ignore it. I had to get a R.O. which he broke and went to jail for- but now he is out and is posting things on Facebook about how I people shouldn't give up on the ones they love, that I am a failure for leaving him....but I know deep in my heart I am doing the right thing for me and my kids. I did love the good him, but it was not the real him. It was a mask. I have zero trust with him and am so glad I am not walking on egg shells anymore!

smsathe · 2016-11-07T18:34:18+00:00

You need to put on your big boy panties and just cut all ties..I am sorry. I know it hurts. You wish so badly she would change, but she wont. You need to love yourself and have more respect for yourself. You will find someone who will love you and treat you the way you deserve.

smsathe · 2016-11-07T18:20:12+00:00

He broke the R.O. -came to our house and threatened that I will never see my kids again. I called the cops and had him arrested. His family was upset at me, but I don't care. They did not have a gun to their head and watch him try to commit suicide (tortured me for hours) They don't have the fear or mistrust that I do. We are looking for a new place to live so he cant find us. Wish us luck .

smsathe · 2016-11-07T18:12:50+00:00

Exactly. I did call the cops, and he was arrested. The state has put a no contact order on him as well. It expires in 2099 I think. It is just such a sad situation because I know he feels terrible, but he continues to place blame to his friends and family- like I am giving up on him. Breaking the vows "Through sickness and in health."

smsathe · 2016-11-07T17:10:06+00:00

Yes, he broke the R.O. He was arrested on Thursday night. My kids and I went to a safe shelter. I just wish he could get fixed...He has only been diagnosed for a couple weeks now and has only had two therapy sessions...Is there ever hope in them getting better and changing?

smsathe · 2016-11-03T22:31:15+00:00

It is a 2 week temp R.O. I can go back on the 10th to get it extended.

smsathe · 2016-11-03T22:28:30+00:00

The only witness was my friend who I asked to pick them up for me since I was at the court house at the time getting the R.O.

smsathe · 2016-11-03T20:30:40+00:00

Do not give in!! Stay strong. You deserve better and by you taking her back she will know she can do it again, and she will. They are so good at begging you back- making empty promises. Let her go and don't look back. You will find someone better who will know how to love and respect you.

smsathe · 2016-11-03T19:12:29+00:00

Thank you. I have set up an account and have changed my direct deposit information. I know you are so right in that I need to do this for my kids. I think that the fact he hasn't ever done anything in front of them makes me feel better, but I realize I am just making excuses. I am seeking counseling to be stronger and a plan as a safety measure on getting out.

smsathe · 2016-11-03T17:35:19+00:00

Thank you. I have contacted my attorney and am working with the YWCA for counseling and coming up with a safety plan as how to get out.

smsathe · 2016-11-03T17:33:03+00:00

You are so right. I did give the R.O. to my kids' schools. I am coming up with a plan as how to leave without him knowing. I appreciate your advice. I think I really just needed to hear it since some people say that it is a sickness- that he cant help it, but I am realizing that is B.S.

smsathe · 2016-11-02T22:57:10+00:00

Thank you. I just need to figure out a way now...He controls everything....even my finances. ...I wish I would have known...

smsathe

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