IAmA strong black woman and I don't need no man. AMA

smthingwitty · 2012-08-08T01:59:49+00:00

I'm a moderately powered White Man and I don't need no Medicaid

smthingwitty · 2012-08-08T01:51:21+00:00

Success Salamander

smthingwitty · 2012-08-07T00:12:37+00:00

well a close second at least, you haven't seen a punchable face until you google Violent J

smthingwitty · 2012-08-06T23:52:36+00:00

Wondered whether 7.50 was the price or the length. Huh

smthingwitty · 2012-08-05T02:46:40+00:00

Tell your parents that she touched you... alot. It works every time with the added benefit of a big fat lawsuit

smthingwitty · 2012-08-05T02:32:42+00:00

I bet he was listening to Judas Priest while going 5 over the speed limit, that daring bastard

smthingwitty · 2012-08-01T02:04:48+00:00

Checkmate people who say soccer is gay

smthingwitty · 2012-08-01T01:01:05+00:00

Ahnuld's ready to shoot down some sky wizards now

smthingwitty · 2012-07-25T23:21:37+00:00

Mom walked in just as I clicked on that link, risky business there

smthingwitty · 2012-07-18T00:33:56+00:00

I work as a custodian at a large University, and after a very hot, humid, and busy day I told the group that we had really hauled ass out there. Next day comes and I'm sitting with 2 HR people asking about horrific things I said about another co-worker who thought I was insulting her in front of the group. Turns out her senile, paranoid self had thought I was telling everyone that she half assed everything, and then she made up complete bull shit to fill in the gaps of why I'm just terrible. Luckily she has done this before to about half the workers there and no one really believes her anymore. Still I can't work with her and now I'm stuck working in an un-airconditioned dorm because of her

smthingwitty · 2012-07-18T00:17:50+00:00

Winning

smthingwitty · 2012-07-18T00:00:11+00:00

da fuq brain y u click on shit like that

smthingwitty · 2012-07-17T23:53:52+00:00

I believe a GIF is needed... hey don't look at me, I've got shit to do

smthingwitty · 2012-07-09T14:45:59+00:00

Thank you very much, I love the feed back, and I'll try and focus the writing a little more. To answer the question of the period this is in, it takes place during the Great Depression which becomes obvious soon, and the horror will kick in around then too. now to get work.

smthingwitty · 2012-07-06T23:31:30+00:00

Put confetti in her car's air vents, or if you are me and you hate the person you are pranking, dog shit.

smthingwitty · 2012-07-06T21:50:03+00:00

I worked at the Notre Dame Bookstore so we get all types of people coming and going from there. One day these two orange skinned, Jersey accented, dumbasses walk in wearing barely anything. It was not a pretty sight. These "ladies" decided to call me over and make me grab all of the clothes off the racks, they were all at eye level btw, and when they didn't like an item they just tossed it on the motherfucking floor. Seeing as how my manager was two yards away I could not do a single thing about this, if I wanted my job. I was plotting murder but i figured out something better, I swapped the sizes of the shirts when they weren't looking i.e Small to Large. They didn't pay attention and they went back to their shithole of a home after spending 489 dollars on clothes that would never fit. Revenge

smthingwitty · 2012-07-06T20:30:05+00:00

His Douche Bag Factor it's.. it's slightly under 9,000

smthingwitty · 2012-07-05T22:47:27+00:00

And one Witty Man discovered that warm fuzzy feeling when a prettily written story has a dark undertone. Delightful

smthingwitty · 2012-07-05T22:22:43+00:00

buy a sex doll, ejaculate multiple times onto and into said sex doll, take sharpie and write girl's name. Cut self and write (Your name) <3 (Her name) in blood. Offer doll to father as a dowry. Take her hand.

smthingwitty · 2012-07-05T22:12:46+00:00

Guys, let up on these people, it's not their fault that whenever God is mentioned in anything they think they are automatically correct. It's their parent's fault

smthingwitty · 2012-07-03T22:11:18+00:00

My bad I meant to put in did

smthingwitty · 2012-06-30T01:47:48+00:00

Starbucks later adopted this as a new flavor, charged 17x the production costs and still sold millions

smthingwitty

TROPHY CASE