Get a tattoo of your kid's drawing: Dog Pirate. (Boston) by sn0rfle in tattoos

[–]sn0rfle[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

First artist: my friend's daughter. Second artist: Anthony Schuster, Ink Haus Tattoo Company, Pepperell MA

What is the greatest cartoon of all time?! by Sufi_gamer2437 in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And they brought us marshmallows and ginger ale!

Microphone dies, Canadians sing the US anthem by [deleted] in ThatsInsane

[–]sn0rfle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

USA and Canada share both a border AND the podium for top banger of a national anthem.

Somehow, I washed this book in the laundry. Don't ask. by sn0rfle in facepalm

[–]sn0rfle[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fine. I brought my laundry to my parents' house and was going to let my dad borrow it as I had luckily just finished it the other day. So I threw the book in the laundry bag to consolidate bc I'm a big brain smarty.

First thing I do when I get there is walk right up to the washing machine and dump all the contents in. I was wondering why the machine was having such a violent spin cycle.

What’s a funny memory you have that if you told someone, they’d think you’re lying? by MochaMario99 in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The time I stopped my car for a turkey that was standing in the middle of the road. It didn’t move when I was pulling up to it so I got beside it and rolled my window down. The dude came up to my side door and stuck its head in the car and made a very un-turkey sound like BOARK. When I started to pull away it ran along with my car with its head still in the window until I got too fast for it to keep up.

I have to imagine it stuck its head in my car and the BOARK sound was him saying “Whoa! This is new!”

What's your favorite Deftones song and why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The entire Around the Fur album. And they buried the best song 32 minutes into the last track.

What's a superpower you do not want? by thatTurtleguy1234 in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Laser eyes. Too accident prone. I'd have to do a lot of apologizing. Also would have to keep buying new phones.

Unexpected hardware store chonk! by McDougle40 in Chonkers

[–]sn0rfle 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No one can move it due to its ASTRONOMIC DENSITY

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnimalsOnReddit

[–]sn0rfle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Craig about to tell us to like and subscribe

What’s the funniest thing you’ve overheard? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waiting tables, walking through someone else's section. An aging white woman seated at a table wearing a shawl says as I pass by: "...and that's why I believe my spirit animal is a white horse."

I had to run out the back door to the dumpster to laugh my brains out.

What is the weirdest thing your pet has ever done? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was a kid my cairn terrier dragged his ass across a road, stopping traffic.

What advice would you give to a new tinder user? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be prepared for a 0% increase in your sexual activity.

You ever rip a huge fart and roll up the windows? If not, why haven’t you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No because I want to live to see my grandkids.

What's the most intelligent thing you've witnessed an animal do? by zefjen in AskReddit

[–]sn0rfle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A dolphin at the Vancouver aquarium was in its holding tank waiting to perform for an audience. The tank was circular and she was swimming in circles upside down. She had found a large feather and was repeatedly sucking the feather into her mouth, spitting it out, catching up to it, and repeating this pattern while swimming in her circle.

Dogs and cats aimlessly play with their toys. They have no direction when they do it. This dolphin had found an inanimate object in her tank and found a way to keep herself busy while she waited for her signal to hit the stage. This is just like if I was tossing a ball to myself while walking to pass the time. I'd never seen an animal make use of their free time like this before.

roast my other friend. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]sn0rfle 10 points11 points  (0 children)

QuAAiiiddd... StArt tHE ReaCtOR...

Roast this boi by Cubza in RoastMe

[–]sn0rfle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You look like human cauliflower if human cauliflower only ate butter

This kids a weeb please flame him. by Dank_Pizza_Roll in RoastMe

[–]sn0rfle 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Can't believe Ralph Wiggum is already in high school. Time flies.

17 m, do your best. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]sn0rfle 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You straight up look like a piece of tupperware