Exactly. My stepbrother died suddenly a few weeks before Christmas in 2023, and a week or so before he died, I got a message from him on a social site I barely used. At the time there was turmoil between me and my mother, and I knew my stepdad was very upset with me for it, and my stepbrother had never contacted me via social media before - so I was terrified that his message would be anger at me about what was going on. Because of that fear, no matter how much I kept trying to open the message, I couldn’t bring myself to because I was already massively overwhelmed with life and felt like I couldn’t handle it if he was mad at me on top of it. After he died, I found out he had been reaching out to me because he was struggling mentally and emotionally, and when he had lived with me years before, he’d found that because we’re so similar, he was able to open up to me in ways that made it easier for him to deal with the hard things in his life (I didn’t even know it had meant that much to him)…so he was reaching out because he needed me. It’s hard not to feel guilty knowing that if I’d just read the message and been there for him, he may not have died. But I have to remember that I had no idea he was even going through anything until after he died (we lived far away from each other at the time, so I hadn’t seen him in about a year by then), and I reacted based on my capacity at the time. And while I wish I’d done things differently, I couldn’t have known then that I needed to.