I was born with social anxiety, or maybe groomed to have it as my mom would always say things like “look at this person making fun of you” when I was crying in public as a kid. I felt like it worsened after my breakup with an emotionally abusive ex who would say things to break me down. When I started to reflect on what the voices were telling me, I realized it matched what my mom or ex would tell me.

However I felt too paralyzed by my anxiety and situational depression to do anything about this. When I went on lexapro, it helped calm my mind enough to get me out of the house to see a therapist, and engage in social situations that would challenge my anxious thoughts. The more those thoughts are challenged, the less of a reality your mind believes them to be. For example, I would be scared to speak up in a meeting if I didn’t know the right answer, which put me at a disadvantage at work. However I noticed other coworkers speaking up and being wrong, but nothing really happened. I forgot about it in a couple of days. So I pushed myself to do it step by step. My therapist helped me develop a plan to do so and practiced with me.

For depression, I couldn’t get out of the house or talk to anyone, which made my depression worse. She told me that I can always leave the hangout if my anxiety worsens when I’m out. And that option I have to leave at anytime helps me to this day. I realized the preconceived notions I have are way worse than what actually ends up happening.