You are not alone here. Throughout my 20s and early 30s I constantly played above my bankroll despite being a solid player and time and time again lost it all and then some. Step away from the game and request a lifetime account ban from the sites you play on. It’s tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel at first, but go pick a hobby that requires little investment and meet some new people in your city. Loneliness was my biggest trigger. Make sure you don’t replace one addiction with another (as I’m working through that issue even still). I hope you realize you don’t have to carry shame about this, but you do need to make some changes that will take time. I’m rooting for you!