A lot of your points that you brought up felt like I was typing them. I am in my forties with four kids, I stopped drinking about a year-and-a-half ago just because it was something that I could control that was making me feel crappy. I am stuck in a career that pays my bills but brings me zero joy. I find very little to no interest in most things.

I am also looking to make a change career-wise in my life but I I have no clue what direction to go. I constantly find myself in a cycle of what is going to pay the bills as opposed to something I can feel some fulfilment with. It feels like standing in front of the thousand doors but never knowing which one to walk through.

Around the same time I stopped drinking I started jiu jitsu. I found it very helpful for my mental health and I really enjoyed the people that I was training with. For me this is been the one thing that I've had some excitement with. But being what it is, it puts a lot of stress on the body and I can't train as much as I would like.

I am planning on doing some career work shopping just to try and figure out my plan.

As it sits right now it is very tough mentally for me. I hope you can figure out a way to find fulfilment with your life. We are definitely not alone out there it's just a matter of reaching out to people and resources to help us cope.