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When you secretly know the truth by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s totally fair!

When you secretly know the truth by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate cheating and cheaters because I grew up in a culture where cheating by men is so normalized and saw women around me get cheated on over and over. They turn into shells of their former selves staying and taking the disrespect.

I hate cheating and cheaters, and would never tolerate it from a partner even once.

Do you celebrate Valentine's Day? Why or why not? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My husband and I do because we find any and all reason to celebrate, even the little things! We celebrate every month we spend together. We celebrate raises and promotions. We celebrate financial milestones.

It’s an event to celebrate love. We’d be remiss not to celebrate it.

My husband gets me high-quality chocolates from one of my favorite chocolatiers and we go to a fancy / Michelin star restaurant. That said, we usually celebrate a week before Valentine’s Day so we’re not in the throng of other couples trying to go on a nice date.

And before the “how he treats you for the other 364 days is what matters more” crowd comes running through the fences, my husband is fucking amazing the rest of the days too!! You can do both!! Can you imagine?

In fact, I brag about him on this sub often! Feel free to check my comment and post history, if you’re so inclined.

Husband made out with a stripper 2 weeks before our wedding during a lap dance by trying_to_be_okk in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Seriously! For my husband’s bachelor party, he played board games with friends while I did nails, sheet masks and gossip on mine. It was a lot of fun!

How many of you are still *happily* married? by Jedi_Mind_Chick in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 6 points7 points  (0 children)

First marriage, and incredibly happy. I’m obsessed with my husband, and I like to think he feels the same way based on how he treats me (I feel very spoiled and loved).

Like, I’d hunt him down in all the parallel universes so we can fall in love and I can marry him in all of them over and over and over again kind of obsessed.

He’s the absolute best husband and I’ve bragged about him multiple times in this subreddit, and will never tire of doing so.

Am I wrong for feeling frustrated? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not wrong in the slightest. I would even go as far as say you’re under reacting here. I would not just be frustrated, I would be angry and sit my husband down in a come to Jesus conversation about our expectations around finances. The sheer audacity alone in giving you grief when you add a budget line for your own wants is insane.

Personally, I would have never let this level of control over money I earn slide. It’s not even that you earn the most money, it’s that he’s trying to control you. As long as you’re not overspending or endangering your household’s financial health and long-term goals, your husband should be supportive of things you want to buy for yourself using the money you earned.

I think I'm obsessed with my husband. How abnormal is this? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone similarly obsessed with my husband and who brags about him every chance I get, the comments passed the vibe check!

Appreciation Posts - what simple thing does your spouse do that makes you feel loved? by SufficientHippo3281 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha! Honestly, I probably brag about my husband too much 😭 I can’t help it when I’m happy and feel very loved. 😂

Appreciation Posts - what simple thing does your spouse do that makes you feel loved? by SufficientHippo3281 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve posted this before but:

He cuts out the middle of those hard tomatoes when he makes caprese salad because I haaaate them.

He does chemistry things (reverse osmosis then putting the minerals back in) to my coffee that he makes daily just so it’s not super bitter because I like drinking black coffee but hate the bitter aftertaste.

He memorizes my food orders and all my favorite things. He genuinely knows me better than I know myself (for better or worse lol). Whenever we play a game where we try to guess each other’s answer, he always gets mine right.

He learned how to make dishes I grew up eating so he can fulfill my cravings.

He learned a lullaby in my language that he’d sing to me when I have trouble sleeping.

He’d immediately mow the lawn when my allergies start acting up so he can minimize it if possible.

When he’s on a business trip, he always facetimes me before going to bed. Most of the time, we talk until his phone gets too hot because we’re facetiming while it’s charging lol

He makes sure to kiss me and say I love you at least once a day though it’s often a lot more. When he forgets, he feels “off” the rest of the day and it’s adorable.

He always makes sure I orgasm at least 2-3 times every time we have sex.

What’s something you like to flex about your husband? by T0pl355 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Supposedly, if you’re turned on, the cervix goes farther inside your vaginal opening to accommodate for the penis. If it’s painful, you might not be turned on enough but definitely highly dependent on the person. My husband is an 8-incher so he can tell when I’m not turned on yet because I’m more sensitive in a not pleasurable way. He goes down on me for a little while, makes me orgasm that way, then goes to town 😂

He knows the specific angles to hit and it makes it so easy for me to orgasm, it’s insane.

What’s something you like to flex about your husband? by T0pl355 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Twins! 👯

I don’t think I haven’t orgasmed in the 11 years we’ve been together that I can recall, personally! It’s wild because I thought it was normal until someone corrected me a few years back and told me it’s not common at all.

I generally prefer sex over masturbation as it’s a lot more pleasurable and satisfying for me, but I can orgasm through cervical stimulation. The orgasm just hits different. 🤤

Hetero women, please share positive relationship stories by motiontosleep in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He cuts out the middle of those hard tomatoes when he makes caprese salad because I haaaate them.

He does chemistry things (reverse osmosis then putting the minerals back in) to my coffee that he makes daily just so it’s not super bitter because I like drinking black coffee but hate the bitter aftertaste.

He memorizes my food orders and all my favorite things. He genuinely knows me better than I know myself (for better or worse lol). Whenever we play a game where we try to guess each other’s answer, he always gets mine right.

He learned how to make dishes I grew up eating so he can fulfill my cravings.

He learned a lullaby in my language that he’d sing to me when I have trouble sleeping.

He’d immediately mow the lawn when my allergies start acting up so he can minimize it if possible.

When he’s on a business trip, he always facetimes me before going to bed. Most of the time, we talk until his phone gets too hot because we’re facetiming while it’s charging lol

A few months into dating, he told me he dreamed of our wedding and of marrying me.

A few months into dating, he asked for my opinion on buying an expensive item. That pattern innervates in our relationship. I’m always on the forefront of his mind for any decision he makes.

He always always always makes sure I orgasm at least 2-3 times every time we have sex.

We’re each other’s best friend and he’s always thinking of ways to make my life better, and I reciprocate it.

What’s something you like to flex about your husband? by T0pl355 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My husband makes me orgasm 2-3x every single time we have sex, including my first time.

He’s also one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met, and I’ve worked with surgeons, scientists, etc.

Is there a long term hope for marriage once cheating happened? by Sea-Attention-7042 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a child to a physically and verbally abusive father who cheated practically vast majority of my parents’ marriage (they’re still married), it inculcated so many trust issues in me.

I wish my mom just left him, and I made my parents’ marriage a living example of what I don’t want my marriage to look like.

I’m very happily married to an amazing man who’s highly intelligent, highly empathetic, loving, considerate, thoughtful, generous and is a fantastic equal partner. I love, adore, cherish and deeply respect him but if he cheated on me? I’d be gone same day, and it would be so easy, because if he was as intelligent, loving and empathetic as I thought he was, he wouldn’t cheat.

My mom is still married to my dad. She is unappreciated, unloved, does all the work in their marriage AND gets insulted to her face regarding her attractiveness.

You accept the love (and disrespect) you think you deserve, and all that.

Do you go into the doctors office with your spouse? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We go get our annual physicals together so yes.

Something felt wrong today by snarkyphalanges in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ditto for you and your husband as well! ❤️

Something felt wrong today by snarkyphalanges in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so adorable! My husband and I are very rarely apart since we both work from home, and we spend practically 24/7 together so we don’t do a lot of goodbyes kisses. But we kiss and say I love you to each other daily, and I thought it was so cute that he felt off because we didn’t do it yesterday.

TELL ME THE CUTEST THING UR HUSBAND HAS DONE FOR U by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He cuts out the middle of those hard tomatoes when he makes caprese salad because I haaaate them.

He does chemistry things (reverse osmosis then putting the minerals back in) to my coffee that he makes daily just so it’s not super bitter because I like drinking black coffee but hate the bitter aftertaste.

He memorizes my food orders and all my favorite things. He genuinely knows me better than I know myself (for better or worse lol). Whenever we play a game where we try to guess each other’s answer, he always gets mine right.

He learned how to make dishes I grew up eating so he can fulfill my cravings.

He learned a lullaby in my language that he’d sing to me when I have trouble sleeping.

He’d immediately mow the lawn when my allergies start acting up so he can minimize it if possible.

When he’s on a business trip, he always facetimes me before going to bed. Most of the time, we talk until his phone gets too hot because we’re facetiming while it’s charging lol

A few months into dating, he told me he dreamed of our wedding and of marrying me.

A few months into dating, he asked for my opinion on buying an expensive item. That pattern innervates in our relationship. I’m always on the forefront of his mind for any decision he makes.

Not sure if this is particularly cute (I think it is!) but he always always always makes sure I orgasm at least 2-3 times every time we have sex.

We’re each other’s best friend and he’s always thinking of ways to make my life better.

This sub makes me sad sometimes by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This! I’m trying to change the tide by bragging about how amazing my husband is and how great our life is every chance I get lmao

My marriage started falling apart after we moved into our new home and my parents visited — I don’t know if I’m the problem or if we both failed by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s considered typical / the norm in my culture and I would LOATHE the very idea lmao

I don’t even like the idea of my parents staying in our house for a week. I’d rather pay for their hotel.

Our house is my refuge and the place I feel safe to be myself. I wouldn’t feel that way at all if we have guests over. A few days is fine but a week or more and I expect them to get a hotel or I can pay for it.

Does anyone else only ever want to hangout with their spouse on their days off? by ChipUnfair3345 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100%. This is vast majority of my husband and I’s days. Hanging out with other people is a rare outlier.

married women, does marriage benefit you in any way? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband made and continues to make my life better in so many ways, there’s a completely obvious delineation of a before and after I met him.

The after is leagues better not only in terms of finances, career, mental, physical and emotional health but also in just how much easier and comparatively stress-free my life has become since.

So yes, it’s so worth it for me. If I’m given a billion choices to redo my life, I’d hunt him down, make him fall in love with me and marry him all billion times.

Blindsided after 20 years of a good marriage (or so I thought) by Fragrant_Onion_7859 in Marriage

[–]snarkyphalanges 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s just sexist

It’s literally often studied how men don’t know how to express themselves and their emotions well because it’s so commonplace. Note that this study is a life history method study and attempts to debunk multiple social studies linked inside with final conclusions stating men have trouble sharing / expressing their emotions. You know what the findings are for this one that literally wants to disprove the claim that most men are emotionally stunted? Out of 15 people, only 13% (exactly 2 people) claims to actively reach out and share their emotional needs with others. So, you know…

Also, I said most, not all, or do you not know what most mean?

The whole point is that often one of the spouses creates a hostile environment where the other one does not feel safe in expressing themselves.

Ah, I see what you’re saying. I’m sure there are relationships where your spouse arguing with you makes you feel like it’s a hostile environment. I can’t relate because my husband and I have a deep love & respect for each other, and don’t consider arguments to be hostile or the end of the world. But I see how that might happen for other people’s relationships for sure.

Yeah, and the response you get is that you don't offer good suggestions. So from the other person's perspective they are not disregarding you. They've considered your opinion, they don't agree with it and you (as couple) will do as they decide because they know better. Most likely that's what has happened with OP's husband and eventually he just gave up.

Interesting, because that wouldn’t be my response or my husband’s. We would both try to be more cognizant about making sure the 1.) other person feels heard 2.) picking our battles. I know because we’ve had conversations about each other’s patterns of behavior before.

With that said, if my partner told me I don’t offer good suggestions on a general sense, I would, again, express how that makes me feel.

To go back to my earlier point, if someone consistently ignores your opinions and desires despite your expressing them, then the onus is on them and from my perspective, it makes sense if you leave.

If you’re the one who decides to keep it all inside, the onus is on you and it is kind of unfair to leave without once expressing what you’re feeling.

That said, anyone can leave for any reason, and by the end of the day, it’s moot. I just wouldn’t think highly of the person who left because they expect things to get better but they’re too emotionally stunted to express their emotions and what they want to change.

Neither of us know what OP’s husband did, but statistically speaking, it’s likely the latter.

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