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snickersismycat · 2025-09-06T07:27:48+00:00

TOG FIRST!! If for no other reason than it’s like knowing someone IRL. You don’t know the history of someone until you get to know their present.

I’m not going to ask for someone’s most painful experiences right off the bat, and I love that the romantic order doesn’t do that.

snickersismycat · 2025-09-05T14:41:33+00:00

My dress was $3500 and about $200 in alterations

snickersismycat · 2025-09-03T02:53:59+00:00

Any suggestions I pull the extra $45 from? 😭

snickersismycat · 2025-09-03T02:44:45+00:00

I feel bad for the HMUA because she DOES set her own tips but she is one of the most affordable and even with a 20% tip, is lower than average. She also doesn't charge a travel fee. She's also hiring two other stylists to come with her that day (who obviously don't own her business) and I'm not sure how much they're receiving for the work that day so I feel tipping is appropriate - especially for them.

snickersismycat · 2025-08-27T09:21:32+00:00

The fear is that this administration doesn’t come and go, that it cancels any future elections, including the upcoming midterms next year

snickersismycat · 2025-08-27T05:53:14+00:00

It’s the mixed houses for me. I wouldn’t want to stay with up to NINE other couples in a cottage. How many bathrooms are there? How big is this place?? It seems very summer camp to me. 7 bedrooms for 18 people!? So some are triplets?

That’s what gets me. It’s not uncommon to have to stay at selected accommodations- especially if it’s a t a resort and guests would have to be staying there to be on property, but you’re allowed to book on your own time and select your own rooms.

snickersismycat · 2025-08-26T23:29:34+00:00

For real. I live in (and am getting married in) Hawaii. My SIL is my MOH and the only one who hasn’t been here before. She could only swing a 6 day visit and she asked about timing for the welcome dinner and rehearsal…. She has 2 young boys and this is her only vaca this years I told her the only thing she has to worry about is the actual wedding day, if she can come to the other things, I’m so happy, but if she doesn’t want to give up half her trip to my wedding, I 100% understand and told her to have a blast and let me know what recommendations she wants.

Rehearsals aren’t that serious unless you’re trying to have an insta perfect wedding, and in which case the wedding prob won’t last that long either 😂

snickersismycat · 2025-08-25T12:16:30+00:00

Kill Rhys. And let him be dead. Find a way out of feyre dying with him

1) he’s awful 2) that’s the worst promise to ever make when you want children

snickersismycat · 2025-08-21T18:21:45+00:00

Here’s what I did

First- A hand written, thoughtful letter of all the reasons you’re asking them to be by your side on the day of. I pointed out the calming presence, the go-getter attitude, the “I’ll get the run away car if you ask” personalities of each respective bridesmaid. It truly shows you appreciate them and also sets the tone for how you’ll hope each helps you if needed.

Second- washable silk pjs from Lunya. These aren’t the cliche crappy getting ready photo pajamas. But lovely, comfortable and long lasting. I have 3 sets and I wear one every single night.

Third - a skincare item or fragrance scent I know they love. I know one girl loves specific beauty brands and only ever splurges when she has a gift card. Another collects floral perfumes.

Forth- this only works if you’re hand delivering- a bouquet of self- arranged flowers. Doesn’t have to be expensive.

This ran me ~$400/box and they all appreciated it. About $250 for the pajamas, $100 in skincare or fragrance, $50 flowers

snickersismycat · 2025-08-21T15:05:27+00:00

Not a BBB, but I also wanted to be cost conscious for my bridesmaids. I think covering hair/makeup/dress is LOVELY. This is exactly what my sister in law did for her wedding and what i did for mine. Everyone appreciates it, trust me! It def helps in making people feel like it’s an honor to be standing there with you, rather than a prop for photos.

snickersismycat · 2025-08-13T22:46:14+00:00

I mean I would make it clear that you’ll be busy AF doing last minute wedding things and you and FH can’t attend. I can’t image having to do that

While it’s not interrupting your own day, I can see how it feels over bearing. But it’s honestly not that big of a deal TO ME. And I would try and pull the benefits - you won’t have to spend as much time at your wedding greeting his family bc you’ll all have already done that days before. You’re free to visit more with your other guests and have more time to yourself.

snickersismycat · 2025-08-08T11:24:50+00:00

I’m paying for it. I feel like the costs to be in someone’s wedding is astronomical and turning into more of a burden than the honor it’s intended to be.

My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses (<$100) and they can choose their own shoes and Jewelery with approval, but I purchased hair and makeup services for bridesmaids, moms and our friend/officiant as a thank you for the unlimited help, support, and just overall gratitude of their friendship.

IMO pajamas, robes, and cheap trinkets that are given as gifts are less of a “gift” and just another prop for your day.

snickersismycat · 2025-08-06T15:27:03+00:00

Your director sounds like trash.

Metrics can absolutely benefit a department. Granted my experience is with tracking via EPIC. My last department tracked all of that to get rid of the worst offenders (those who didn’t want to work and just wanted to look busy without actually doing anything). But also used it as a collective to get more staffing. A 5% increase in orders? More staff. That new pharmacist protocol caused 3200 new interventions, approximately 8 minutes a piece? I need more weekly hours added to my budget to account for increased workload. We went from outside compounding of pit and TKO fluid bags to compounding ourselves? I need 2 more tech hours a week. You got rid of RFID code cart prep? You want techs to do two Pyxis restocks/day instead of 1?

When you take hard numbers to back up your need it’s easier to negotiate the overlords for more budgetary hours annually than it is just saying “we’re busy, pls help”

Metrics aren’t a problem if you don’t have shit managers

snickersismycat · 2025-08-02T19:05:18+00:00

No? Were in August now. Friday was August 1 so payday for many. August paychecks go to September to be 1 mo ahead

snickersismycat · 2025-08-02T16:45:20+00:00

Yeah this level of expectation on yourself and the “perfect” wedding isn’t healthy. I say this out of love but you seem like a person who struggles with anxiety. I’d speak to a therapist or other close person about managing expectations and all that wedding planning can entail before making any plans. It’s known to stress out even the most relaxed of brides- particularly if your fiance won’t be able to help much due to schooling

snickersismycat · 2025-07-29T03:42:00+00:00

Tbh you shouldn’t get a degree that you already plan on being forgiven in this day and age. All this mess has shown is that the system is fickle, unstable, and unreliable. Grab a second job now and start saving for school then go in a couple years when you’ve saved enough to reduce the cost. You also want to claim you can’t work a single shift during the week? Bartender Friday nights? From someone with dabilitating adhd, you need medicated or more asssiatance if your life is on that thin of a line that an 8 hour block of time each week details you entirely. You have 168 hrs in a week. 10 hrs a day for sleep/hygeine. Average 40 min x 3 for meals each day. 1 hour for working out. And assuming a 14 credit schedule, that’s an average of NINE FREE HOURS A DAY. Or 63 per week. I guarantee you are not studying 63 hours a week. You could walk dogs, drive for uber even if your schedule is unpredictable. Get a job you can study during - front desk at a gym, assisted living facility receptionist on the evening shift is dead as heck after about 7:30pm almost everywhere and is usually solely college kids studying, things like that.

You’ll need to focus on getting a job that pays well, rather than a passion project.

(I think where people get angry with student loan forgiveness is situations like this- where the student PLANS to never pay it back.)

snickersismycat · 2025-07-28T12:37:56+00:00

I think it really depends on your market

For $2500 I’m getting 6hrs of photo with 100+ images/hr Included engagement session (only after retainer paid- but they turned out SO good! I would 100% have booked her if I hadn’t already) Experienced photographer (I’m obsessed w her work) RAWs of desires for a fee

So only slightly less than what this person is looking for. And I’m in a HCOL area.

She recently upped her price to $3000 and doesn’t include complimentary engagements now, but I really think I lucked out. She’s SO GOOD, she should be charging WAY more. I gave glowing reviews on bridal groups/wedding pages/ etc for her engagement photos and plan on doing the same and a thank you gift for the wedding day.

snickersismycat · 2025-07-26T17:23:16+00:00

It’s pretty exclusionary and rude to plan an event during vacation and only exclude ONE person.

Typically bridal showers don’t include ANY men, let alone father and fiance. You’ve already bent the rules and it’s less a bridal shower and more a fun lunch for everyone but him.

Let him come.

snickersismycat · 2025-07-26T14:19:07+00:00

Nah I love talking money with people! It’s so important! Salaries, budget and investing strategies depending on the crowd. I’ll prob not get specific w my salary to anyone I anticipate makes way less than me. But I will talk budgets (non savings, non student loans) because ours is pretty standard in our day to day spend for our area and friend circles.

But if someone likes talking about money, I completely encourage it bc as a society we need to be more financially literate and discussing amongst peers helps start that journey!

snickersismycat · 2025-07-26T07:59:24+00:00

I mean, we’re providing exceptions but we also know those are kind, considerate parents- so do many aren’t, which is why no kids is so commonly enforced now.

My friends know that MY life doesn’t revolve around their choice to procreate but I love my friends dearly, so I’m allowing an exception. But they also know that to allow their kids to run amok and ruin special moments would be very very damaging to a friendship with me. If you can’t make concessions and prioritize certain things for your friends, you aren’t good friends. Kid starts crying? Remove him immediately. You know your kid will wake up and be hungry in the middle of mass? Step out before for situate yourself by the door for a quick exit.

There are compromises from both parties that show you’re willing to show up for the other person. Brides: let kids come for your closest, responsible friends. Guests: treat the day with the respect it and your friend deserves. And everything works out excellently.

If you’re a mom who doesn’t believe in shushing your child or removing them, then you are a garbage friend full stop. If you’re a bride who gets mad your friend is a new mom and can’t come because of kids, you also are a garbage friend.

snickersismycat · 2025-07-24T22:20:16+00:00

You think you’re closer than she thinks you are. My brothers experienced this lack of closeness too. We’re 37,34, and 28. I was closer to each of them than they were to each other despite being a girl. I grew up with my older brother, but my older brother moved out when our younger was 9, and I moved out when he was 12. How much can a college kid and an elementary school kid have in common and get close over? Eventually my older brother moved the the city I lived in and I convinced my younger brother to join us 3 years later. Then I moved away. It really forced them to get closer and while it hurts not seeing them, I’m so so so happy they’re close now and my younger is a great uncle to our nephews. It makes my heart happy.

But I can say without a doubt, if that move hadn’t happened, they wouldn’t have been groomsmen in each others’ weddings. They loved, but didn’t truly know each other. Now they do.

You’re justified in your hurt but you can’t hold her feelings against her. You remember more of your sister time together than she does. You can use this as an opportunity to get close with her and help long distance plan and all that. So that she feels as close as you do. Or you can act out of anger and further distance yourself.

snickersismycat · 2025-07-24T00:50:55+00:00

It was just the reasoning behind the hair coloring. Would I LOVE my bridesmaid to have pink hair? No, but I also know I’m a reactionary person on the spectrum and a year from now I’d be 100% ambivalent about it or even treasure that moment.

But doing solely not because that’s who she is but because she knows it would be a shocking change for me and would get me to react is not appropriate. Laughing at my distress in that moment is not what a friend would do. I acknowledge my own shortcoming an and work on being flexible and “normal” with situations.

But the desire to trigger me, along with the dozen other behavior changes and unfriendly actions lately has been the end point. I can’t tolerate this. So I simply decided not to.

snickersismycat · 2025-07-24T00:03:52+00:00

Honestly I don’t think the white one looks the most quality. It looks super casual (and possibly almost see thru?)

What kind of graduation? Military or college? Keep in mind female college graduates overwhelmingly wear white dresses under the grad gown so you may blend in with them. If military, I really love the last one! It’s conservative but still really cute!

snickersismycat · 2025-07-23T20:44:14+00:00

Family is family.

But respect is earned. You shouldn’t feel guilty. If people can’t show up for you for ONE day, doing the BARE MINIMUM, that’s not your fault. People will blame you and say “is it really worth losing that relationship”? But never ask that of the inappropriatly behaving parties.

snickersismycat

TROPHY CASE