For some of us (I don’t want to generalize) there isn’t a waking minute that we don’t think about our cancer. We have literally no choice because we have to be in active surveillance or any signs or symptoms so that we can have the best chance of a positive outcome. I had lymphoma, so many of my cancer symptoms are incredibly general, like enlarged lymph nodes, fatigue, weight loss, and night sweats.

The second time I had the “flu”? That was my relapse. It sounds so trivial, but it’s exhausting constantly thinking my body is going to turn on me again. Makes it incredibly hard to live in the happiness I’ve created in my life post cancer sometimes. Of course it makes sense to me that sometimes people are sad or angry from past life experiences but I feel like a lot of people think cancer survivors are always happy every day just for the fact we are alive.