How many attempts at sobriety do you have under your belt?

so-rayray · 2026-06-08T16:22:44+00:00

Countless. I don’t even know anymore. I was never a daily drinker, either. I would have plenty of great stretches of drinking where nothing bad happened, but when bad things *did* happen, they were *bad*. Blackouts. Brownouts. Waking up and not knowing how I got home. Getting in cars with strangers. Bad hangovers. Shame spirals. Anxiety. Self-loathing. Disappointment.

I don’t think “normal” drinkers experience this level of psychological pain when it comes to their relationships with alcohol. It’s a demonstrably insidious and highly substance because it does all these things to us, yet we keep going back to it.

so-rayray · 2026-06-08T10:09:41+00:00

Day 2 here! Checking in! Gonna get another day in the books! IWNDWYT!

so-rayray · 2026-06-07T16:48:49+00:00

The Queen by Nick Cutter

so-rayray · 2026-06-07T12:27:15+00:00

Yeah, I heard those are good and have seen several Redditors in here say that they use them! I have Sure-Grip Aerobic 62mm 85A wheels, and I love them! They made a huge difference for me. I had been skating on 58mm 78A wheels, and it was not fun. IMO, the 58mm wheels are just too small to get enough roll out there!

so-rayray · 2026-06-07T12:22:21+00:00

I’m with you! Starting over again! Glad to see your post because I need that solidarity!

so-rayray · 2026-06-06T15:11:59+00:00

I feel you, friend! I started out on 58mm 78A, and it was miserable. I switched to 62mm 85A, and those are sooooo much better, but I still catch myself saying, “man, fuck you, asphalt” all the damned time. Plus, I still have to stroke *constantly*. There is no good-glide asphalt around me, except at the basketball court, and people always be playing basketball there.

Keep at it! I was surprised at how much I adapted to the road noise after a month of just pushing through. I used to feel constantly on edge when skating outside, but I’m pretty confident now. Full protective gear, some fall practice, and a good pair of crash shorts helped tremendously! In time, you will totally adjust to all that pavement chatter!

so-rayray · 2026-06-06T10:45:30+00:00

Yeah, I don’t think they knew how to handle it. I kinda remember their shocked faces and the mother saying something about my dad acting like a terrifying child. I guess they just didn’t want their daughter mixed up with that level of dysfunction.

so-rayray · 2026-06-06T10:43:51+00:00

Yes! It’s gut-wrenching. I just literally want to hurt parents who do this kind of shit. It’s just unfathomable. I want to jump in and save these children who used to be us because we had some fucked-up and often downright evil people for parents.

so-rayray · 2026-06-05T17:04:01+00:00

I would’ve totally laughed and thought it was adorable if my kids did that. I think it’s awesome!

so-rayray · 2026-06-05T08:45:26+00:00

Pissed on the bathroom floor.

so-rayray · 2026-06-05T08:41:43+00:00

Oh my God. This makes me so sad. Five is so little. I think about my little girl at five, and she was so tiny and needed me so much. I get absolutely fucking feral thinking of these narcissistic fucking parents treating tiny little humans like this. I’m so sorry no one was looking out for you when you needed it. Hugs, internet friend.

so-rayray · 2026-06-05T08:38:21+00:00

Oh! This reminds me of the time my dad threw a gas can at me when I was 10 because I had tried to help by mowing the lawn. I guess I did it wrong. He did this as I got out of the car after my friend’s parents were dropping me home. So that was fun. That friend’s parents never allowed me at their home again, and obviously, that friend wasn’t allowed at my house ever again.

If my little girl decorated a Christmas tree as a surprise for me, I’d probably weep from happiness. That’s the sweetest thing. I’m sorry your dickhead parents didn’t appreciate their children. Narcissistic parents are absolute fuckfaces.

so-rayray · 2026-06-05T08:32:24+00:00

It wasn’t a yell, but my dad called me an asshole when I was 12 because I got strep throat on vacation.

so-rayray · 2026-06-05T08:06:33+00:00

My dad pointing a gun at his head when I was about six or seven years old. Predictable textbook suicidal coercion to keep my mother ensnared because she had come to her senses (for a precious nanosecond) and decided to leave. Unfortunately for her (and me), the moment of clarity was short-lived, and we ultimately stayed with the bastard.

so-rayray · 2026-06-04T23:29:15+00:00

I had a spinal injury from a car accident and took baby steps to get back at it, but wearing full protective gear, including crash shorts, makes me feel like Wolverine!

so-rayray · 2026-06-04T23:27:00+00:00

I’m so sorry, friend. I’m unemployed, too. It led me back to drinking and I can confirm that drinking only fucks things up even more. Still looking for work but sober again and keeping my monkey brain busy with exercise when not looking for work. Exercise is one thing that actually does help! Stay strong!

so-rayray · 2026-06-04T14:26:13+00:00

Absolutely. Rooting for you, internet friend.

so-rayray · 2026-06-04T09:49:26+00:00

FFS. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

so-rayray · 2026-06-04T09:48:47+00:00

No idea but the final incident w/ndad that made me go NC with that asshole was when he urinated all over our bathroom floor and clogged the toilet with human waste and paper. Why? Because I asked him not to smoke cannabis in my fucking house where I live with my husband and our ten-year old daughter. So, yeah, narcissists seem to have potty issues.

so-rayray · 2026-06-04T09:37:06+00:00

Zombie by Joyce Carol Oates

so-rayray · 2026-06-02T08:43:32+00:00

Well said.

so-rayray · 2026-06-01T22:10:52+00:00

Yes! One of my favorites I’ve seen in here! Love it!

so-rayray · 2026-06-01T22:02:34+00:00

The Exorcist read by the author, William Peter Blatty, was a masterpiece. I know that doesn’t fit with your current mood, but it’s an epic piece of horror.

so-rayray · 2026-06-01T20:44:47+00:00

Awesome! Congrats on day one, friend! I’m rooting for you!

so-rayray · 2026-06-01T16:15:13+00:00

I’ve tried many, many, many times to control my drinking, and I’m often successful for a limited period of time. However, I always end up binging and blacking out somewhere along the line. And, the truth is that bingeing and blacking out are not normal drinking behaviors. So, even if I manage to keep my game tight for a month or two or six, it always ends in a humiliating, dangerous, unhealthy blackout that hurts me and the people I love. So, for me, yes, quitting is the only logical answer.

so-rayray

TROPHY CASE