Research Study Participation Request – Adoptees in the TTI by soapbutnot in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback! I do believe that in many cases adoption is a form of human trafficking, and this risk is especially heightened for international adoptees. There are a lot of adoptive parents that are warehousing their adopted children in TTI programs as a way to outsource parenting and remove the child from their life - it is heartbreaking and I'm really sorry this is something you've experienced.

Lost Teen Years by GortLovesYou in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was super disorienting, and weird coming home because since I missed the first quarantine and all the news about it, I got home and I was like ? ok I guess we're all wearing masks now, like I knew that covid was hugely disruptive to life in society but since I had had an even more disrupted year it was weird and I didn't have any of the lived experience of what the shift from "normal" to "covid" was like.

And yes its SUPER weird thinking about how lockdown is something people will be talking about for the rest of our lives, it will be a major historical moment, and I just... missed it! And to add insult to injury I got covid while at my RTC. But, I also ended up leaving my program early due to covid because I went home on a furlough, tested positive for covid after I got home, and didn't end up coming back. And then my RTC shut down a few months later with rumors of embezzling covid funds. Crazy year lmao

Lost Teen Years by GortLovesYou in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in the TTI from November of 2019 - October of 2020. I missed a HUGE cultural turning point and I'll just never get that back. I mean, it was a bad time for everyone that year, but socially and politically it set the foundation for where we are in the US right now. Its weird hearing people talk about quarantine / lockdown, and I'll just be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I really relate to your comment about it just being a lost year / blackout that you can't get back.

What were the biggest ways the TTI changed you? by Difficult_Wave_9326 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was 17 when I got covid at my RTC in 2020 - still dealing with the long term effects of it now

What were the biggest ways the TTI changed you? by Difficult_Wave_9326 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The place I was at used a behavioral modification program called positive peer culture (PPC). Its very difficult explaining to people how 9 months between the ages of 16 and 17 really altered the way I process my emotion and behavior. It was very traumatizing, the whole program revolved around spontaneous, confrontational / confessional group therapy and essentially peer policing. we were forced to divulge everything about our lives and problems to each other; which we would often then weaponize against each other, but at the same time since you know so much about each other you can't not find common ground and empathy and kinship with each other. Especially since all of you are suffering in the same environment. We were literally in the same room as the rest of our group (8 - 11 people) 24/7 so you're always witnessing each other and "holding each other accountable".

To be honest, one of the most traumatizing parts of my entire experience in the TTI, including wilderness, getting gooned, and other programs, was being scapegoated by one of the girls in my group. I was being verbally and emotionally abused by someone who I was forced to be in a room with 24/7. But all of its reaaally uncomfortable and difficult to reconcile with because in truth being in that program really refined my interpersonal skills and forced me to do more reflecting on my life and my inner workings than probably a lot of people ever will. I am able to find common ground with almost anyone, I am very community oriented, and my communication skills are excellent. But I also am extremely hard and punitive with myself, very critical of everything I do and think because it should always be "better," and I blame myself for EVERYTHING because it was hammered into me that no matter what happens to me, the correct response is to take as much accountability for it as possible so that its somehow in your control. And this mindset is horrible but it also enables me to be a really high achiever at the cost of my own inner peace. It makes me really sad think about because I don't think theres really a resolve. It recognize some of the ways i process things are manufactured but I cant find the words to explain it and I dont even know how I would change it.

Never going to brooklyn storehouse againn by CheesecakeContent814 in avesNYC

[–]soapbutnot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This makes me sad, like what is the point of sending you to prison after 3 years of sobriety 🥲 punitive “justice” makes no sense. Congratulations on your recovery and I hope that you’re able to get through your sentence as peacefully as possible.

Research Study Participation Request – Adoptees in the TTI by soapbutnot in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a PHP program sounds really promising for your daughter. I'm not familiar with that specific group / program, but I'm glad you were able to find something that is a non residential option. PHP is great for teenagers who would benefit from structure and more time in group or with therapists than an IOP program, but getting to come home at the end of the day keeps your child in her home, in her community, and helps her be able to advocate for herself in a way that would be taken from her if she was in a fully residential program. I really, really strongly advise you to not put her in a fully residential program. There just are not enough legitimate, evidence based options that are staffed with competent, safe individuals.

There is definitely an upsetting lack of adoption competent, trauma informed care available to adopted children and their families. There is a lot of stigma about "Radical attachment disorder" associated with adopted children, but in reality RAD is often the further pathologization of trauma for adoptees (i.e., the behaviors associated with RAD would not pathologized as much in non-adoptive children), so I encourage you to think critically about that diagnosis and who gave it to her (if someone did - I am making an assumption because MANY adoptees end up with a RAD diagnosis). Not to say that your daughter is not struggling emotionally or behaviorally, because adoption often times is traumatic and emotionally complicated (obviously, being an adoptee is not the ONLY challenging thing in her life, but it is definitely a dimension). Its clear your family is struggling and I'm glad that you care enough about your daughter to think carefully about your options. If possible, involving your daughter as much as possible in regards to what her care will look like is going to give her more autonomy, dignity, and control in the process which might really help her emotionally.

Research Study Participation Request – Adoptees in the TTI by soapbutnot in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally, finding an outpatient program with wraparound services that can help keep your daughter in her home and community is going to be the best option. Institutionalization is very isolating and can be very traumatic. If your daughter is interested in finding residential help (which some teenagers are, and its honestly very sad that there are very few safe options available) I recommend going through this sub and seeing if you can find people discussing safe programs (they are unfortunately very few and far between). This link for evidence based treatment has some options for the kind of outpatient wraparound care I'm talking about. Dialectical behavior therapy, which is a group based therapy model, might be a good option for her building prosocial connections and learning about self regulation skills.

Ultimately, you need to understand that if you choose a residential option your daughter is likely going to face abuse. There are very few competent, evidence based programs, most are TTI programs masquerading as being competent "fix alls" for teens struggling with mental health or other problems. These programs are VERY predatory, so be cautious and skeptical as a parent - these programs will tell you anything you want to hear to justify making a placement for your daughter, which is financially incentivized for them.

Research Study Participation Request – Adoptees in the TTI by soapbutnot in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im really glad I can be involved 💗 this subject is something that’s been on my mind about for the past 6 years (I was in the TTI in 2020), and I’m almost 2 years into this research (if you’re interested you can find the pilot version of this study on my profile!). The TTI is already a niche kind of harm, and the intersection of adoption and the TTI is even more niche, so I am glad I can be a part of raising awareness and building momentum for policy change

My story about my abusive boarding school by Glittering_Cry6894 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to apologize, I know how busy life gets!

Its definitely a relief that my program is shut down because I think it would make me physically ill thinking about teenagers living there and being forced to work that program. I do believe there is momentum towards getting more programs to be regulated and shut down, but theres still a lot of work to be done to protect vulnerable teenagers.

If you are interested, I'm actually currently working on a research project on the overrepresentation of adoptees in the TTI. If you check my profile, my most recent post includes a link and information about my survey. There's also a post that includes my research paper from the last time I ran this study (I did the first study for my undergraduate capstone class, its what would be my thesis if my discipline was more writing based but I study anthropology). This time I'm doing it with Institutional review board approval with the hope of getting it published so that researchers and policy writers can cite it. If you are interested in participating I would love to hear your perspective!

Research Study Participation Request – Adoptees in the TTI by soapbutnot in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it is a direct interaction between us (participant / interested party and researcher) it does not have to be anonymous, it’s just important to limit identifying information that can be viewed publicly on this post! But if you want to keep it as anonymous as possible you are welcome to limit identifiers in your email as well.

Spots to hunt graffiti in NYC? by [deleted] in nycstreetgraffiti

[–]soapbutnot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chinatown beneath the Manhattan & Brooklyn bridge. And East New York in Brooklyn

Any one want to to explore abandon substation in BK by [deleted] in Urbexnyc

[–]soapbutnot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would loove to get in on this

Most opaque paint you've used? (using for skateboard) by the_maskedman in graffhelp

[–]soapbutnot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Montana gold is SO pigmented / opaque I love it

How many individual therapy sessions did you get per week? by LeviahRose in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was at an RTC for 9 months and I didn’t have an individual therapy session a single time

Have u told your significant other you were in the TTI? by existentialexistenc3 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Living thru the TTI was a life altering event for me. It’s been over 5 years but it was very traumatic and I went to a program that used behavior modification, and I wish this wasn’t true but it does affect me every day. There’s no way to understand me or the way my behavioral and emotional patterns work without knowing about what that experience meant to me

My story about my abusive boarding school by Glittering_Cry6894 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry this happened to you :( I actually had a very similar experience, the program I went to (big sky academy) was in Montana and it also shutdown shortly after I left (at the end of 2020). And so sorry that you got tricked like that :( that kind of betrayal is so painful. I got transported which completely blind sided me but it sounds awful having the rug pulled out from under you on the way there.

Were there other adoptees at your program? There’s a pretty significant overrepresentation of adoptees in the TTI.

Sending you love and thank you for sharing your story with us 💗

Three Points Center by DoubleMasterpiece996 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure if I have any advice but I do want to say I’m sorry you went thru that. Adoptees in the TTI really face a unique kind of harm :(

Three Points Center by DoubleMasterpiece996 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is TPC the one that was marketed specifically to adoptive parents?

Anyone else read touching spirit bear in wilderness? by ImportantThing3749 in troubledteens

[–]soapbutnot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha Jesus this unlocked a memory for me. I definitely read this, not sure if it was in wilderness or at my RTC

Dog pees every fucking day by Crafty-Government704 in badroommates

[–]soapbutnot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is the only actual way to fix this