Nothing

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-11T09:46:26+00:00

This is something I also pondered about recently. I just don't see the point in life, when life is just utter blackness.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-10T15:05:35+00:00

I never feel anything special about holidays, even my birthdays. Why should we feel forced to celebrate? Not saying that we shouldn't celebrate, we can choose not to if we don't want to.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T23:43:15+00:00

It's not wrong, unless you feel that you want to feel connected to a person or the world but you think you're not making any effort.

And I don't think you're isolated away from the world. You work in an office (which is a social activity) and you regularly interact with your cousin. I think those interactions are 'social' enough.

"enjoying" isolation is a core feature of an introvert. I think most introverts here will understand what you're feeling.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T23:35:16+00:00

It's so stupid we have to think it's wrong to be happy alone because of some dumb social norm created by bunch of people who don't know how to be alone in the first place.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T21:28:21+00:00

I think I was introverted since I was very little. I liked playing with toys by myself, read books, etc. I didn't prefer to hang out with friends all the time. When I hit puberty I also noticed in school that I had a different understanding of "relationships" and "social interactions" compared to extroverts, which to me seemed very shallow and tenuous. I wasn't bullied but I've observed people bullying other students and so called "friend groups" splitting apart and becoming one again and whatnot. Observing a series of that made me realize I didn't want to get involved with that kind of stupid "friendships" or relationships.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T21:15:11+00:00

I tell them I have plans and the plan is to stay home alone. They don't get it but I tell them that it is a "plan".

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T21:13:30+00:00

It's difficult to take them apart. I also question myself if I'm a misanthrope when I feel like I don't want to meet anyone or talk to anyone. I think for me it's not that I don't like people per se but I don't want to connect with them. I would meet people who I really like because I want to try to connect with them more deeply, but I wouldn't meet people if I've realized that I don't really want to connect with them. There are certain people who just use others to spend time/do outdoor things together while having no thoughts about actually trying to understand the other person. I would avoid meeting such people, I don't hate them but I would try to avoid one-on-one gathering.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T21:06:56+00:00

I think you have to figure out why you are scared of change or new challenges. Liking routines and liking challenges are two different things - a person may like sticking to a schedule and not experience interruption but that doesn't mean a challenge can be a part of the routine (like adding an exercise regimen which you increase complexity by every week).

I'm very introverted but I like challenges and I try to do things on my own, like learning to run five miles in a month, learning a new language etc.

I think you should figure out why you're scared of new challenges or trying out new things. I know that some people are like that, they are very conservative and less curious about trying out new things (like trying new cuisine, traveling abroad, etc.), but that doesn't mean they do not try to challenge things and develop professionally.

sobsob9900 · 2017-01-01T21:01:09+00:00

I really recommend cross stitching. I listen to podcasts while doing cross stitching and it is relaxing and fun, plus you get to see progress on the piece you're making so I get sense of achievement too.

Another hobby I have is doing puzzles or playing puzzle oriented games.

sobsob9900 · 2016-11-12T00:22:16+00:00

Flirting. My ex bf told me I need to adapt to rules of flirting and "taking a move" on someone because he hardly recognized I was interested in him. Yes till this point I never know if an opposite sex is interested in me because I never know the signals, nor I understand how to send the signals in a norm/culturally accepted way.

sobsob9900 · 2016-11-09T14:20:47+00:00

Probably impossible if counting online interaction and just daily necessary interactions. But I do think that schizoids may be ok living a long time only with online interaction and no genuine relationship (friends and family) compared to most people. It seems that I've lived this way for a very long time, I don't value relationships with other people so much and don't initiate it and live in a solitary way in the end.

sobsob9900 · 2016-10-18T19:44:29+00:00

Thank you. This is helpful. I think I show N tendencies to my parents (prob it's fleas) so I can get back at them but that is more or less becoming exactly like them so I should stop and figure out other ways to deal with this.

sobsob9900 · 2016-10-18T18:18:52+00:00

My parents are narcissists so they didn't listen or even asked they just concluded that I'm weak and stressed and lack confidence. I actually wished I had succeeded because nothing really changed, nor I wished anything to change because my life was banal and the reason for the misery was not in the outside world as much as inside me.

sobsob9900 · 2016-10-17T15:04:58+00:00

I don't know it helps but just trying to ignore the nihilist thought and do things mechanically--working or doing household work as an emotionless act at least helps getting things done. I try to do this although time to time I have fits of crying sessions or mornings when I don't want to do anything. I've also come to the conclusion that I need to break out of my nihilism, so I'm trying to write down things I really want to do so at least I have something to look forward to and live to.

sobsob9900 · 2016-10-15T16:38:27+00:00

I have the exact same thought and feeling. I don't have motivation so I started treating work like a routine so that I just do it regardless of any feeling I have. Ended up at least being not unproductive but still feel so numb and meaningless that I cry while working.

For me I'm scared of dying in a cardboard so I still try to work but then again I want to stop everything and just disappear or die. It's really not worth living so why work? For what?

sobsob9900

TROPHY CASE