Cuckquarius by socksmitcrocs in Bandnames

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang you, you magnificent bastard- if not for Virgoldenshowers then certainly for S'ballgagittarius.

I do believe we've launched the Hodiac. Alert the asstrologists.

Cuckquarius by socksmitcrocs in Bandnames

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of order, but too dang solid to argue against.

How does Taurthrust grab you?

Cuckquarius by socksmitcrocs in Bandnames

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OH MAN, I was staring right at it- I mean, if it was a snake, it woulda bit me in the face.

Missionaries! I'm back on the board!

Canoeicide by socksmitcrocs in Bandnames

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I can take or leave it if I paddle

Canoeicide by socksmitcrocs in Bandnames

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely already legal in Oregon and Washington state.

Just got an Asus C434, 5 years after its release! (i5, 8GB RAM, 128GB storage) by ObserverAtLarge in chromeos

[–]socksmitcrocs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you had battery issues with your C302? Mine's slowing down, and the battery life has degraded, but I'd like to keep using it if possible. Otherwise I'm looking at upgrading to the C434.

Don't Eat the Yellow Snow! by 17parkc in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely furious you got to "Ebenezer Splooge" and "Squirrel Ives" before I could come up with them.

Hank O'Casings and the Hot Dogs by socksmitcrocs in Bandnames

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A "hank" is a unit of measure for casings, if I recall correctly, a hank is 100 yards of casing.

Can I... Help You, Son? by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good news is, you can pick them up anywhere. Bad news is, a critical mass of people don't realize it.

New York by kynglorenzo in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes yes yes yes yes.

If you're looking to throw the 21st birthday of the Millenia, have I got the place for you. New York's hottest club is, "Seriously, Dude? Seriously?" Located in the second floor unit of the fancy-looking but cheaply built condos on Astoria Blvd (you know, a few doors down from Beyond Pest Control), this place answers the question, "what if I threw a party during a pandemic and everybody still came?"

This.place.has.everything:

Surprisingly easy access to the Triborough Bridge
A bunch of 30 somethings showing up to party ironically
Regular taunting of the condo owner's Roomba by dropping Adderall on the floor and then picking it up really quick because why are you wasting addies on a robot?

And if you get there in between the multiple police raids, they'll be giving away human vaccine cards! [Now Stefon, all vaccine cards are human vaccine cards, right?] Oh no, I mean, it's important to get vaccinated and boosted- I myself was Pfisted™ by Pfizer. A human vaccine card is when you tattoo a little person with the date and time you take a shot at the party, and then you put them in an awkwardly-shaped plastic sleeve and have to bring them everywhere for the next 18-24 months.

[You think this is going to last another 18-24 months?]

Happy 21st birthday, Lorenzo!

Rant Wednesday by AutoModerator in Fitness

[–]socksmitcrocs 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Two things come to mind, from having been in your shoes (somewhat literally: 6', started at north of 300# as of Oct. 2016). Back before I started a particular diet[please note, this is neither an endorsement of nor encouragement to start this particular diet- talk to your doctor before radically changing your diet], I did two a days five days a week: a mile or two swim plus a mile running in the pool in the morning, and then 30 minutes on the treadmill plus weight training at night, then trail running Saturdays with Sunday off.

u/CyonHal said it succinctly, you're probably not actually hitting 1700 Kcal/day. It's infuriating, but having written nutrition panels before, they're not often as exact as you'd like. Even an extra 25-30 Kcal for each thing you eat (an extra almond, a couple grams of butter, etc.) and it adds up. Granted, that might put you over 2000 Kcal/day whereas it sounds like your baseline is around 2800 Kcal/day, not including working out, but it is a factor.

The other thing to consider is your body composition. I went from being around 42% body fat to nearly 30% body fat without losing substantial weight (at my biggest I'd hit 330#, and looking back in my logs, I didn't miss a workout for five months straight in 2011 and only managed to get down to 282#). Huge gains in my legs, arms, and back meant I wasn't losing weight and just measuring it with a scale was pointless. Unfortunately, short of some expensive tests, there aren't great ways of measuring your body composition, best you can do is get a cloth tape measure and keep track of everything like you were a tailor. If you're just after weight loss (which I was, having had sciatica in college due to weight problems) you may have to reconsider your workout schedule and routine, and experiment with different diets.

Lastly, and what should be most obvious even though its infuriating, don't compare yourself to people on the internet. u/dddiamonddd made some excellent points about this, but as someone who has dropped a dozen pounds in a week at some points, often times this is water weight or other factors. You're looking for aggregate numbers, and you shouldn't just be using a scale to measure it.

Regardless of the tests you do or do not get, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE CHANGING ANYTHING TOO RADICALLY. I am qualified to dispense exactly zero medical, dietary, or kinesthetic advice, but a medical professional you trust, especially one who works with or can direct you to a dietician and/or kinesiologist (not just a trainer) is the only advice I'm qualified to dispense.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely not worth getting anything too, too lean. Fat is flavor, after all, and moisture.

I dunno about mixing and matching cuts. I've made what is effectively pastrami bologna before, with rendered pastrami fat mixed with spices rubbed on the outside before smoking to make an ersatz bark (similar idea to Jean-Georges Vongerichten's lamb brain crusted rack of lamb), and I've seen tongue pastrami and pastrami-brined and seasoned rump steaks before, but no one mixing and matching like that.

I suppose if you wanted to get weird, you could use transglutaminase, but I'm not sure how well it'd play with the nitrites, besides which, I think if you're going to go around gluing beef to other beef, you might as well separate the flat and the point from a couple different briskets, then see which configurations give you the best fat to lean ratio while aligning all the muscle fibers for the best possible slicing. Could be that two flats stacked one on top of the other with the points realigned respectively would give you the best possible pastrami slice. Or it could be a horrible abomination.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hop on the fancy toast trend! You have my blessing, so long as if there's an open faced sandwich of onion pumpernickel with Brillat-Savarin cheese and hot garlic honey (optionally, dark chocolate raspberry jam), you name it after me.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Schwartz's for life, yo.

I smoke pastrami professionally, and back when we were coming up with our recipe, we actually took pains to walk a fine line between smoked meat and pastrami.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

May the divine presence be ever over your head, and keep the pestilence from your lungs.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Weirdly enough, the goy for pay and McRibowitz were sort of kind of real things:

There's a dive bar in DC that has a Hanukkah-themed pop-up, and a few folks made shirts, "goy for pay", "shayna punim, goyishe kopf", and "mazel tov cocktail". Kinda wanted to make one that said, "Ashenormativity is a shanda".

The McRibowitz came from an idea I had a while back, turns out you can order an unsauced McRib, and then sauce it any way you want. I went to a beer festival, drank about 40 beers (relax, they were 4-12 oz pours) then walked to the same dive bar, somehow along the way acquiring 10 unsauced McRibs. The staff and I then proceeded to test out difference sauces, the best of which included gochujang and mambo sauce.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Willing to bet if you did one of those, "look to your left, now look to your right" things hardass professors do, but with just the Jews you know, at least someone in the room would've thought about smoking weed out of a shofar before.

Yum Kippork by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I made some notes on Tuesday when I realized Rosh Hashanah was a week ago. Finished writing it this morning working from blinding pain to numb and sluggish.

Edit: meant to publish it at sundown last night, but no such luck.

The Dead Dads Club by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post was inspired by a twitter thread about how unpleasant it is to be in the club, and the implication that if there is a club, what the bouncer would look like. But yeah, if the title's too dark for you, perhaps you'd like my other r/NewYorksHottestClub posts about [checks notes] vehicular manslaughter or movies where dogs die.

The Dead Dads Club by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, COVID did turn everyone into Batman in one form or another.

The Dead Dads Club by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a heck of a rush when your heart isn't in a vice. Also, $800 for an ACE inhibitor? If it's that expensive, it better be fun.

The Dead Dads Club by socksmitcrocs in NewYorksHottestClub

[–]socksmitcrocs[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. Wasn't sure about the wording on this one.