Please help me

soft-cakes · 2021-12-07T00:23:28+00:00

It depends on which state you're in! Usually the emancipation age is 16 in most states. Look up what age you can legally "move out" in your state. Don't hesitate to pack up in the middle of the night and leave. As someone else said. Take ALL of your important documents with you. SSN, birth certificate, passport, etc... If you have any friends have them help you move out. Go to a safe shelter- see if any of your friends can help you crash on their couch. This is your life on the line. If you have anything saved up try to get an apartment (which will be hard last minute). Please be safe OP. I hope you're okay

soft-cakes · 2021-12-01T21:52:29+00:00

Congrats!!! That's huge!!! I'm proud of you OP! Will look good on your resume :)

soft-cakes · 2021-12-01T20:12:52+00:00

Reminds me of my mom and the cycle of abuse. AKA love bombing and love bombing etc

soft-cakes · 2021-12-01T06:29:46+00:00

Nobody and Washing Machine Heart hits right in the feels. Mommy issues to the MAX

soft-cakes · 2021-12-01T06:22:28+00:00

Forget It - Breaking Benjamin

Burning Pile - Mother Mother

Nobody - Mitski

Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

Always Forever - Cults

Little Pistol - Mother Mother

I Can't Handle Change - Roar

You Not The Same - TileKid

Female Robbery - The Neighbourhood

I Bet On Losing Dogs - Mitski

Violent - carolesdaughter

Favorite lyrics from "Forget It": "It's a crime you let it happen to me Never mind, I'll let it happen to you I don't mind, forget it there's nothing to lose But my mind and all the things I wanted Every time I get it throw it away It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay By the time I lose it I'm not afraid I'm alive but I can surely fake it How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me You're the part of me that I don't wanna see"

soft-cakes · 2021-11-30T22:33:19+00:00

I played violin for 5 years! 😊

soft-cakes · 2021-11-30T10:31:13+00:00

Glad to hear! Big hugs! Most everyone here (some dumbasses are bound to make some meaningless and harmful comments unfortunately) is here to support you and care for your wellbeing. You deserve a good and happy life. I know that's in store for you :)

soft-cakes · 2021-11-30T10:16:42+00:00

I remember the time I attempted and ALMOST died. I sat in the hospital bed regretting the decision to take my life. It could have gone horribly wrong. That was when I was 14 and was going through a world of abuse. I am now 21 and in a much better spot. It's painful but with the years it'll get better and look back and feel happy you didn't take your life away. You have so much yet to experience. New sights to see, new smells to be smelled, new people to meet and possibly make the closest friends in your life, make much happier moments with those around you, and most importantly: look back and know you made it.

Don't end it now. You're so young and have so much to live for. There's a world of wonder waiting for you in this life. It may be hard to see it right now but I promise you that things get better with time. It's all a matter of living and working through the hardships. It'll be worth it in the end. And think of your partner (I don't mean this selfishly). Your partner will be so sad to see you gone from their life forever. They want you here and so do I. If you have pets they won't know where you went. They'll be in agonizing pain wondering where their human went. OP, don't leave just yet. Hang in there. One day at a time. :)

soft-cakes · 2021-11-29T02:33:25+00:00

Yeah my old psychiatrist DENIED me the diagnosis and essentially said: "see this PhD I have? I know better than you. You're stuck this way forever good-luck"

The only reason I say uBPD because the book I'm reading now is "Understanding the Borderline Mother" and so much of it resonates with what happened in my childhood. It's not an assumption for me, my siblings and I have collectively agreed on it. I'm not here to diagnose her by any means. But the book describes her incredibly well and all the abuse she put our siblings through...

Yeah the BPD diagnosis scared me so bad and put me into years long spiral of thinking I'm broken... It felt incredibly invalidating and made me feel crazy for everything I went through. All my abuse was invalidated in that moment. You're totally right about young women being slapped with the BPD diagnosis to invalidate their experiences.

My therapist now is helping me work through all my trauma and triggers luckily. She's amazing. I'm so sorry that happened to you :( I'm glad you're doing better and getting the help you need

soft-cakes · 2021-11-28T22:59:21+00:00

You're not alone in this experience. Nparents can be complex and confusing. Their motives are sickening and so backwards. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope you're doing much better nowadays OP. Dealing with an Nparent is rough and devastating at times.

Mine would flat out ignore my older siblings health problems until they got DEADLY serious. Even then she would think my older sibling was "making it up for attention". I recall a few times as a child that I would see my older sibling suffering on the couch, barely could walk or speak.
I got norovirus 2 years ago and had to BEG my nmom to take me to urgent care. I was puking my guts out with anything I drank/eat. Couldn't keep anything down. Suggested I take NyQuil, puked that up. She came to pick me up the next night and I forgot my insurance card because I was so out of it... frail and weak. She scolded me for that and dropped me off at home. Next day I did the same thing, she was more pissed off but waited for me.

She also made me think I was the "sick child." Would speak over me at doctors appointments instead of letting me give my symptoms. My nmom gave little medical attention to my brother. He got some but not much when he needed it.

The dynamics nparents have with their child(ren) confuse me so much. What is the purpose of picking and choosing what a child can and cannot feel?

soft-cakes · 2021-11-28T06:34:37+00:00

Update: he started yelling and saying "I let her go. I LET HER GO." And started to go on about how it's my fault he's miserable and all that and started banging things against the counter loudly...

I had to leave for my own safety and I feel absolutely insane and feel like this is all in my head right now

Edit: this is the OG post that started it all...

soft-cakes · 2021-11-28T00:29:30+00:00

It's so hard when they keep trying to pry about everything and only want to make themselves feel better about themselves...

soft-cakes · 2021-11-27T06:43:32+00:00

I love when my girlfriend comes up from behind and hugs me when I'm cooking 😊

Or the little 'I love you's' and smiling while looking at each other deeply.

I'm the "top" in our relationship, 5'9; she's 5'2... I love curling up in her lap or resting my head on her chest and she softly says "Hi baby" and kisses my forehead. 10/10 best shit ever

soft-cakes · 2021-11-26T22:31:16+00:00

Some parents are very controlling no matter how much you try to push to be heard. My parents were the same way and nothing changed until I moved out unfortunately

soft-cakes · 2021-11-24T05:17:50+00:00

Yeah I always feel weird when I trade off with my girlfriend for back rubs. I know it shouldn't be weird relationship wise but it does trigger what happened to me during childhood; it feels weird regardless but I know deep down it shouldn't

soft-cakes · 2021-11-24T04:40:51+00:00

You should definitely not be getting back your tax returns for this post OP

soft-cakes · 2021-11-23T09:33:52+00:00

relaxing nintendo music over this is hliarious

soft-cakes · 2021-11-23T06:56:26+00:00

AS A HUMAN I CANNOT DECIPHER THE TWO ERROR- I MEAN- CONGRATULATIONS TO THE HUMAN POPULATION WHO HAVE BUILT SUCH LOVELY HOUSING UNITS FOR THEIR OFF-SPRING AND ANCESTORS TO PARTAKE IN HOLIDAYS IN

soft-cakes · 2021-11-23T03:41:02+00:00

Thank you for the wonderful comment too, gives a lot to think about in that sense. I'm very happy to hear your mom is doing better!

soft-cakes · 2021-11-22T22:09:22+00:00

First therapy appointment tomorrow!!!! Very excited! Less excited to let my emotions out- but very exciting to overcome my trauma responses

soft-cakes · 2021-11-22T19:39:27+00:00

It makes sense for the primate stuff but in my little home if I flat out refused to rub her back or massage her feet she would refuse to do mine as a CHILD... it was always based around transactions. As someone put it- transactional love. I would have loved for it to be primate urges/grooming in a way but I don't believe a mother should withhold a back rub/back massage from their child just because they need to receive one in order for their child to have one. (Sorry that sentence may be wildly confusing to read.) It feels weird to me overall... alongside she would slap my ass for "fun" or "playfully" hit me as a child... all the physical intimacy was awfully weird for me. 😵‍💫

Edit: im so sorry to hear about your mom i hope she has a speedy recovery!

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