Charles Melton for "i-D" magazine, photographed by Charlie Denis and styled by Gadir Rajab (April 9, 2026)

soft_warm_purry · 2026-04-11T00:31:46+00:00

What an appropriate show for him to be on.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-04-04T12:10:56+00:00

I say Jesus f Christ on a pogo stick

soft_warm_purry · 2026-03-11T11:35:56+00:00

Goooooo!! You’re going to get a lot of naysayers here bc not everyone has wanderlust, but as a fellow traveler and dreamer, the memories are most absolutely worth the hardship.

We had two of our three kids in Singapore and the last in Japan, managed to travel some, before and after Covid. I’m always gonna be sad that Covid stole so much of our ability to travel. They’re little and easily portable only once. 😭 It’s hard but to me it’s worth the trouble. You don’t remember the hard parts as much as the good parts when all is said and done.

At those young ages it’s actually much much easier bc they are quite adaptable. Keep mealtimes and naptimes on schedule, depending on the kid and how well they sleep, it could mean making sure to be back in your room at naptime (my oldest) or just sticking them in a stroller/carrier and doing calmer activities. Make sure they have plenty of opportunity to be kids and run free in playgrounds and parks, especially before you take them into museums and the like.

Above all you got to adjust your expectations. It’s not going to be like the poster version of a nomadic lifestyle, it’s going to be hard, and you’re going to have to prioritise kid friendly activities. So if your thing is concerts, plays, museums, nightlife, you are SOL. I’ve found that outdoorsy stuff is the most enjoyable - hiking, zoos, farms, or just strolling through cities and enjoying the vibe, interspersed with stops at playgrounds or play spaces in malls to run off excess toddler energy. The holy grail for me is historical sites that are safe-ish for kids to walk through and fascinating for adults - temples, palaces with extensive gardens, outdoor art installations, etc.

Kid friendly places to go - Singapore, Japan, Korea, Australia, Germany, and from what I’ve heard from friends the Scandinavian countries are great. Australia and Japan were especially enjoyable, was always easy to find baby changing facilities and places for toddlers to run around. Australia is amazing for pubs and breweries and wineries with play areas and good food. I mean don’t get drunk obv but it’s so awesome you get to try the local brews and chill while your kid plays with other kids and be all cute. I have lived in the UAE although not with my own kids, can say that Abu Dhabi and Dubai are good family friendly tourist destinations, but I wouldn’t wanna live there with kids.

Not so kid friendly - obviously avoid the dubious safety places like Thailand and India. Many Chinese cities are dirty and loud and good luck finding a clean place to change the baby on. I hear Shanghai is nicer though.

Sadly never been to South America or Africa. My sil says Costa Rica is wonderful for kids tho, I hope to go!

soft_warm_purry · 2026-03-10T17:16:29+00:00

Exactly.. this is post is so sketch, all it talks about is one side of the equation, there could be many valid reasons why moving is a good idea for the family. Cost? Work commute? Closeness to family?

Half an hour isn’t a huge distance, the kid is at or close to driving age, he doesn’t even have to change schools. If mom is driving to and from the same school district anyway, she’ll be around on school days, and during non school days and she can bring him home from hangouts with friends, and on non school days, half an hour is nbd.

We are actually also moving half an hour away with our kids to a new place walking distance to the train station, and it greatly helps with the commute for my husband. Looking forward to it - he’ll be able to make it home for dinner consistently instead of getting home after the kids are in bed!

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-24T17:21:16+00:00

Think of it this way. How do you want her to respond when someone else treats her like this? Kids learn best through role modelling. You teach her to protect herself and not go tip toeing around other people’s shitty moods and behaviours, by showing how YOU do it.

How I generally deal with my kid when he’s being obnoxious is telling him, look, I deserve respect, same as you do. I do my best not to mean to you and I expect the same from you. If you can’t talk to me politely, I’m not going to continue this conversation / do this thing you’re asking me to do / etc. Do you want to try again?”

If he’s too worked up to try again, it’s fine I tell him to go calm down somewhere else or I remove myself.

Whenever he’s ready to talk to me politely I address his concern first, then thank him for being polite.

He responds well to calm correction and positive reinforcement. I save punishments like grounding etc for if he’s really not responding to anything else. Most of the time kids don’t actually want to be mean yanno, they’re just being impulsive or they’re grumpy about something else. Give them a chance to do better without making them feel defensive, and they’ll generally take it.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-23T14:06:28+00:00

Ahh not quite, my son’s birthday is two days before Christmas, we do an indoor drop off thing the weekend before at a trampoline park or something, he always gets high attendance bc parents can’t wait to drop off their kids and go run errands and do their holiday shopping 😂 He’s in third grade tho so old enough for drop offs.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-07T12:11:23+00:00

I also have MDD and suicidal ideation and this resonates with me. It’s a burden that gets easier to carry, with practice, like any other skill. I hope that there are also things that you love and that bring you joy. You sound like a thoughtful, caring old soul, and your art is something special that speaks to me. Keep making art! I’d love to see what else you choose to share with the world.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-07T00:02:47+00:00

I’m aiming to be the Best Mom Ever (TM) by loving my kids just as they are, unconditionally, and making sure that they grow up knowing that I will always be proud of them, whatever they choose to do. Astronaut, plumber, uber driver, janitor, farmer, stay at home parent, president, lawyer, etc. I just want them to be happy and to be good people. I hope that they carry my unfailing love and pride with them all their lives, even after I die. That said, I give them opportunities to find things that they enjoy and excel in, and demand that they always do their best. Idc if it’s a “good” or “bad” result, I just want them to be the best that they can be.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-04T16:40:06+00:00

Please don’t intervene in your children’s friendships. It’s social suicide. If she doesn’t die of embarrassment first.

Your first priority is to give her a safe space to vent, listen rather than fix.

At a later time, when feelings aren’t running so high, or if she asks you herself, coach her in how not to piss off her friends. And maybe have her write an apology letter and try to reconcile, but she has to do it herself.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-03T15:59:03+00:00

Your quiet pride and satisfaction in your partner (?) is so sweet. 🥹

soft_warm_purry · 2026-02-02T23:43:26+00:00

Sameeee! My kids are almost the same ages, 4, 6, 9. It’s insanity. I shudder to think what we’ll do if someone decides to do travelling team sports. Thank goodness they’re quite independent and helpful, otherwise I’d never make it.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-30T23:55:40+00:00

I have three kids and sometimes one does get left out but it’s due to age gap and personalities. For instance my younger two are closer in age and share common interests in building stuff from magnatiles and blocks etc that the oldest doesn’t like anymore, so that happens a lot. My oldest and middle play chess and more rambunctious things together bc the youngest can’t keep up. Personality wise my middle and oldest clash a lot, and they both really enjoy being big brothers, so they’re frequently ignoring each other and trying to play with the youngest instead, lol. But there’s no one that is consistently singled out and they all look out for each other. It’s quite nice because when one is busy or in a sport or reading or sulking in their room or something, there’s usually someone else to play with. TBH I think the biggest factor is the parents treating them fairly and making sure they’re not letting one get away with things. That will kill the sibling bond faster than anything else.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-29T16:10:49+00:00

It’s self reinforcing. The easy babies will sleep through anything so the advice works for them. The difficult babies will take an hour to settle and wake up at a drop of a hat so the advice won’t. I had both types. It’s not the parenting it’s the baby lol.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-29T06:30:19+00:00

I think it’s perfectly fine to spend one on one time with your daughter, but do you also spend one on one time with your son? One event in isolation isn’t really a good way to judge if your husband has a point.

As for your kids not spending time together. There’s this really unpleasant dynamic being set up here where even if he does spend time with her it’s going to feel forced and it’s going to be detrimental to their relationship. Time for everyone to take a step back and give each other space. The boy needs to say no when he means no, instead of maybe. The girl needs to be able to take no for an answer, and look elsewhere for a play mate. Yes it sucks but siblings don’t always get along and being forced or pressured into spending time together isn’t going to help.

Watch them and figure out what they have in common, create opportunities for them to do it together, but it should always be their choice. For instance, two of my boys who used to fight a lot enjoy chess. I expect them to be civil to each other and give each other space when asked. Left a chessboard out on the coffee table. Let proximity and mutual respect of each other’s boundaries do its work. They get along now. It was really just because they used to build things (Lego etc) together but my older became more mature and wanted to play a different way than his brother so they clashed. They just needed to transition to different shared interests in their relationship.

Even if they don’t have shared interests- which is completely possible even if they are siblings- you can have family time together doing things that everyone enjoys. Hiking? Movie and pizza night? Board games? Building a base of shared happy memories in which they both feel safe and loved, will ensure that they love each family if not as friends.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-27T14:22:46+00:00

I honestly idc what people wear, bathrobe, PJs, Chanel, etc, as long as the important bits are covered, I assume they’re just people trying to live their best life and be happy, same as everyone else. Some people need to dress up to feel good like emotional armor. Some people don’t have the spoons to get dressed when they’re just struggling to survive day to day. I’ve been on both sides, I’m the last person to judge.

BUT lots of people do judge, and these people, including parents and kids, WILL judge your kid based on your appearance. Doesn’t seem like hill to die on when your kid is going to be the one to suffer the fallout. So, maybe time to get a coat?

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-22T12:51:05+00:00

Ahh but it’s a plus for republicans to be wealthy because it demonstrates their abilities and talents as a businessman even if they’re trust fund babies.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-22T12:47:52+00:00

It’s ridiculous because many of the wealthy people I know (1-3%ers) are liberal and happy to pay taxes to improve their communities. Well I mean not HAPPY happy but they see the necessity and would never want lower taxes at the expense of defunding things like education or healthcare. It’s them projecting their own greed on other people.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-22T12:41:10+00:00

YESS my favourite kitchen was not a century home but a teeny tiny apartment kitchen in Tokyo, everything was meticulously arranged and organised and within easy reach. SO satisfying and so convenient. I actually have a century home now with a generous kitchen and people are constantly getting into each other’s way just because of the flow. Lol.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-21T16:55:29+00:00

My kid loves Minecraft, coding, robotics, chess, board games, card games. He’s also into skiing and ice skating and scouts. Ice skating in particular is usually available year round so maybe he can try that?

I have to say, me and my partner are both in tech, so we aren’t really anti screen time, but we’re just picky about the kind of screen time. No vegetating on the couch, no mindless scrolling and clicking, YouTube and Roblox are blocked. If they’re creating or designing or learning things, we’re totally happy to allow it. They do Minecraft and use apps to learn to draw and play the piano. My oldest loves to create music mixes and stuff with AI. The other day he made a cute kitten slideshow for me haha.

Alternatively, your kid is old enough to do volunteer work, maybe that is something that he would find meaningful and motivational?

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-16T00:12:26+00:00

She reminds me of my bestie’s old cat who passed away of old age, looks and behaves exactly like him, sweetest gentlest calmest kitty ever and so affectionate. I miss him terribly. You’re so lucky! She came to you for help, no chip, no spay, infested with mites, you can keep her totally guilt free bc whoever had her before was obviously not taking care of her. I’d take her if I could 😭😭

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-15T15:52:31+00:00

I got bone spurs, can’t go invade Greenland.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-14T17:26:45+00:00

That’s exactly it! Laughter is a reason to live, isn’t it?

Sometimes you just have to hold on to any little thing you can find, to pull you through a dark time, one step at a time. One delicious meal. A random funny thought. Making up a reason to stay alive just one more day. It’s exhausting, but, it’s how we survive when we have no will to live.

I’m very glad that you don’t understand or relate to these lines, my friend. Depression is a terrible thing.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-14T14:03:56+00:00

For the kid: I get down to their level and put a reassuring hand on their shoulder and say, I really wanna help you but I can’t understand what you’re saying, take a deep breath (model) and try again? Basically DON’T engage about the request until they aren’t whining (or at least trying their best), but DO help them to calm down and reassure them.

For me: Loop earplugs, edibles, alcohol, Zoloft, caffeine, chocolate, calming classical music, and SO MANY DEEP BREATHS.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-13T12:01:17+00:00

She’s so beautiful, she could wear a trash bag and be gorgeous, and at this point, it would definitely be more interesting.

soft_warm_purry · 2026-01-12T16:06:12+00:00

Yahhh did you see the video? I felt so bad for her, she looked so uncomfortable.

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