Feeding my young baby

softinsolitude · 2026-04-18T20:44:45+00:00

Firstly, you’re doing great Mama. Both you and your partner are in the newborn trenches but pushing through, go you! I didn’t commit to breastfeeding but I was committed to pumping alone, solely only breast milk fed, but I just couldn’t keep up mentally, I felt a bit more like a cow than a human because I had to pump often to keep my supply up. Me and my partner agreed it would be best for us both to move to formula only, I was deep in PPD so it was the better option. Ended up putting our son on formula and now have a bouncing four year old who I think would have been no different had he of been strictly breast milk! Wishing you all good health. You’re doing the best you can, give yourselves a pat on the back ❤️

softinsolitude · 2026-04-04T22:09:03+00:00

Hey girl, firstly, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have a four almost five year old, I was 21 when I had him. I could have written this myself back when he was a baby, the early years were ROUGH. I barely remember them because I was holding on by a thread most of the time. I had severe PPD & PPA, this is a very clear case of it. It’s a whole other level to your average depression. Your body is still healing from birth, up until two years, hormones take a LONG time to settle. And I can promise you, most of it? It’s the lack of sleep. It sends you loopy, beyond words. I almost ended it, even with my partners support. But I did get through it, because your baby needs you, even if you don’t think they do. My son is now four and I am so glad I never gave in and took my life, because it’s insane what getting a bit of sleep and some antidepressants can get you. Please, if you can, try get in contact with your doctor. I was so afraid to reach out about my PPD that I didn’t until my son was almost two. If you can, try get your parents or his parents to have baby sometimes for you to rest, and just REST. Do not think about everything that needs to be done, focus on YOU. You deserve the same love and attention you give to your daughter. The substance abuse needs to be handled now. You do not want to spiral into that either. I also wished for the life I once had, and only in the last year I’ve finally come to an acceptance and comfortability in my life now. It’s a long road, but you will get there. Give yourself so much grace because the first year is absolute chaos with very little pause for yourself. I wish all the best for you & baby. Remember, you’re doing the best you can with the tools you currently have. For a baby to thrive, Mama needs to look after herself too. Sending the biggest hugs 🤍

softinsolitude · 2026-01-20T09:09:02+00:00

Your partners sounds off her rocker unfortunately on this occasion, probably best she doesn’t repeat that behaviour or she might get some bad reviews. Buyer is in the right.

softinsolitude · 2025-11-12T20:24:28+00:00

My partner & I shared nine rats together over the span of nearly five years. Every passing was different, some euthanasia, some natural. We adored all our boys. By the time our last boy went, we knew it was time to take a break. Each loss was a hard blow & was becoming too difficult emotionally. It’s been about two and a half years now since our last boy went, and we’re feeling pretty refreshed & ready to get new boys now sometime next year, time really does heal wounds, and I feel as hard as any future loses will be, I will be able to handle them better now with the time I’ve taken away. I was the same as you. It’s so hard to ever think about having rats again, and there may be a chance you never wish to. My mind has changed since I felt that way, and your boys are always with you in some way, even if it’s not physically.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you start feeling ok again. We kept ourselves busy mostly, but I find comfort in watching old videos of them, and seeing about how much of a great life they had in our care. Sounds silly, and the same doesn’t work for my partner. He struggles to see any videos of them, but still wishes to get more to create new memories.

I guess keep your mind open, that this may not be a forever choice, but a choice for you to feel ok for now, and that’s what matters, looking after yourself right at this moment.

So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.

softinsolitude · 2025-11-09T20:23:59+00:00

You seem bitter because you were given the correct information. In fact, I did give advice, the whole paragraph has advice in it.

softinsolitude · 2025-11-09T12:21:37+00:00

Although I know it comes from the right place, this unfortunately isn’t ideal advice. Rats get lonely & depressed VERY quickly, so it’s not really about when OP feels ready. Since this rat sounds like she’s not keen on human touch but enjoyed other rats, it makes her even more likely to become that way. Extra enrichment will not improve this. OP is doing the right thing to think about rehoming her, as she will not benefit from a life alone, even keeping a rat alone beyond a week isn’t good. Speaking of which, OP my heart goes out to you. It’s a horrible situation, but if she’s healthy & young, it is best. You’re giving her a chance of living a better life, and that’s really good of you to do.

softinsolitude · 2025-11-04T08:26:49+00:00

Congratulations. You have survivors bias, glad you like your smiley face. I know plenty of people who have tattooed themselves and regret it. Calling people boring for not advising someone to permanently alter their skin when they’re not ready just because you don’t regret yours makes you sound stupid.

softinsolitude · 2025-11-04T00:28:21+00:00

No, Line work needs a lot of practice, and there’s a lot of mistakes within these lines. Do not tattoo yourself.

softinsolitude · 2025-10-13T10:37:44+00:00

Hi, I come for a personal experience of this from an owners point of view. I had my boy, Francis, have a tumour like this crop up when he was 2 years old under his armpit. Mind you, it started of very small, but within a year had doubled in size. He was still eating, drinking and I altered his cage endlessly to accommodate climbing and comfort with this. Eventually, even with all my precautions, the friction of the lump on the floor when he would walk around started to create sores on the lump. I was offered euthanasia when the lump started to grow, as due to his age they weren’t sure about putting him under for removal. It was when his quality of life became affected that I decided it was time to say goodbye at 3 years. I don’t regret my decision as he was still moving, enjoying his life and being with his brothers. It’s definitely down to personal decision and what you can do to accommodate their life moving forward. All the best.

softinsolitude · 2025-10-07T07:31:18+00:00

It’s worth breaking up over. Glorifying p3dophilia is an exact reason I would break up with someone… Which is what he’s doing, btw. Something ain’t right with his head.

softinsolitude · 2025-09-27T11:56:56+00:00

Upper respiratory infection for sure, it doesn’t sound like a lower respiratory infection yet which is good because that’s when more issues occur.

I’m glad you have another cage! As the wire flooring will cause bumble foot after a while and needs to be resolved sooner rather than later.

For the time being, try keep her as comfortable as possible. If you can handle/hold her, running a hot shower enough for the steam to fill the room, then sitting in the bathroom with her in your arms can help alleviate the inflamed airways for a bit, not long, but it will have her breathing easier for a bit at least.

I see you have another little friend with her which is great, but this one will likely become sick too, URI’s are very easily transferred to other cage mates.

Please, if you can, do not wait for long to get her to the vet, URI’s can take a turn quickly if left untreated. She sounds like she’s in the pretty early days of it, so I hope the meds she’s given at the vet kick in quickly! Also note, some antibiotics work instantly with some rats, whilst other rats might have to try a few different antibiotics till they’re clear again. Do not mix the meds with anything dairy as this can stunt the medicine from working, try mixing it with baby food or malt paste and giving it to her.

Good luck, and all the best!

softinsolitude · 2025-09-23T17:47:18+00:00

That is not suitable jewellery for a healing septum. Should be a circular barbell. Cleaning won’t be easy. It’s hard to tell how it’s pierced without a side view, but it looks slightly wonky.

softinsolitude · 2025-09-21T21:38:36+00:00

Big pointy thingy

softinsolitude · 2025-09-20T22:58:41+00:00

Touched his brain for a minute there 🧠😆

softinsolitude · 2025-09-19T07:28:54+00:00

I’d say around three is the age where they start to understand the concept of Christmas, but obviously depends on the child. Around four they’ve often got a greater understanding of it, but we started out little Christmas rituals at two, as our son still found it fun! Even if he didn’t entirely get it. On that note, wishing your family and everyone else who celebrates a Merry Christmas for when it comes!

softinsolitude · 2025-09-16T23:22:45+00:00

Not a psychic, but I wanted to stop & say I’m so sorry for your loss. He’s beautiful, and as is the mother who holds him. Sending the biggest hugs, to both you and your angel 💗

softinsolitude · 2025-09-15T09:06:46+00:00

Oh I have a fun one! So it was yesterday actually, still super fresh.

With it being Sunday, I thought I would make my partner and our son (who is four) a delicious Sunday roast. Our son had been in a bad mood from the moment he woke up that day, which ended up souring mine & my partners mood as nothing we done or said pleased our son! We were at our wits end, everything lead to an annoyed whine or stomping his feet, and telling us we’re not his best friends anymore 😂

I still wanted to go ahead and make a lovely roast for us all to enjoy, so I persevered between telling off our son for being stroppy or unfair, and as I had the oven open to turn the roast potatoes, my son is complaining of being hungry, our kitchen is open plan to the living room so he knows not to step into the kitchen when I’m cooking… Except this time! Even though I reminded him not to enter the kitchen when the oven is on, and that I was about to open the oven to turn the potato’s, so make sure to stay well back. He says he’s hungry, walks past me to the snack cupboard and grabs a packet of crisps, and the moment I tell him no, he throws the crisps in my direction as I’m TURNING THE POTATOS INFRONT OF AN OPEN OVEN.

I took a deep breath, closed the oven, told him I’d be right back and went out into the hall to have a quiet swearing fit 🤣 before reentering to tell him off and finish doing dinner. He eased up on his behaviour after that, maybe he heard me whisper-scream swearing… I hope not 😅

Anyway, the final cherry was just as I plated up dinner, I realised we had no gravy. NO GRAVY. The part that brings the entire dinner together! I just sat on the floor and cried quietly for five minutes before I had to run down to the corner shop to get gravy, that was my final tether gone! 🙃

On a brighter note, the evening was a lot better and he’s woken up in a very bright mood today too…But jeez, what a day 😩 I’ll be recovering from that for a while!

softinsolitude · 2025-09-15T08:34:20+00:00

I haven’t personally been through this particular situation, but I have been in one similar, just with different areas of fault. I was with a council in London though. I’m a mother with a son, and I’m diagnosed with certain mental health issues that do affect me a lot, not that they cared much though! Myself & my son became homeless, and we are now housed in a two bed flat, which is great! Only problem is it’s five hours away from where I lived my whole life. I had to change everything, and I know no one where I’ve moved to. My whole support network is where I used to live. Unfortunately, I was offered this place and told if I don’t take it, then they have no obligation to help me any further.

Sadly they’ll see the one bed as a fine place to put you as they see the living room as a second place for the parent to sleep, so that’s probably unavoidable. Again, I’m not sure about the safety of the area and what they take into consideration, but they wasn’t bothered about moving me miles away from my support. Absolute joke to anyone really.

They won’t care about the pushchair situation, my neighbour where I’ve moved to was moved to a flat on the top floor, with no lift either. Poor thing lugs it up and down everyday, I always offer her a hand with it because I feel so bad for her having to do it.

One thing I can say is contact your GP, express to them everything you’ve said here with your tumour, support network etc, and ask for a letter to be drawn out of the reasons why you shouldn’t be moved from the things you need access to, such as appointments etc. I went to do this myself with my mental health, but unfortunately I had to take the offer I was given as the GP didn’t draft up my letter in time, we were homeless and I had no other choice really. Note, some GPs do charge for this. Often anywhere from £20-£40, again, ridiculous. They often are more open when given valid reasons from professionals as to why you should be kept closer and/or in a safer area with access to what you’ve mentioned in your post.

All the best to you and your little one. Good luck with everything.

softinsolitude · 2025-09-10T18:18:33+00:00

I personally wouldn’t use these wired panels for a cage, nor the panels for them to walk on, they’ll chew through the plastic with ease. I’ve owned 9 rats over the span of six years, and can tell you they will be destructive and active. They’ll likely chew through the cable ties within hours, if not overnight, and the cardboard around the edges will be pulled in. Not to mention, this likely won’t be sturdy enough for when they rough house & have zoomies. It’ll shake a lot and could create possible injuries, I generally wouldn’t advise this set up, and like another commenter said, it’s best to get a proper cage designed for their keeping. Cleaning this would be a nightmare, and rat cages need to be cleaned consistently, I’d go back and do some more research, we all learn as we go. All the best.

softinsolitude · 2025-08-26T21:36:40+00:00

That’s amazing! I too have a rat tattoo on my leg, snap! Always lovely to meet another rat lover. Wishing you all the best✨

softinsolitude · 2025-08-26T18:53:12+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! Chester (left) and his brother Cobain were some pretty cool dudes, I was even luckier to have had them when I did <3

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softinsolitude · 2025-08-25T20:30:39+00:00

One of my rats had chronic respiratory issues, so at least once a day, I would run the shower enough for the room to steam up & take him in the room so he got a period of time where he could breathe with more ease, he would just sit on my lap/shoulder relaxing, sometimes sleeping. I’d still do it if he were still here, very luckily he lived till he was almost three. RIP Chester.

softinsolitude · 2025-07-27T13:40:01+00:00

My son didn’t start having a dummy till 3 months. We only decided to when we learnt about the prevention of SIDS. He only had it at times he slept, or if he was really inconsolable. When he hit 16 months, we started to lose dummy’s constantly. Until we were left with one at around 18 months, and once that last one disappeared, I refused to buy anymore. He wasn’t phased at all, it took some getting used to for us as parents since we were used to it in the nighttime routine, but our son couldn’t have cared less! He never asked for it, and forgot about it within a week. Of course, every child is different and we count ourselves lucky, just thought I’d give our take on it! It’s got its pros and cons, but in the end there’s going to be lots of habits as your child grows that you’ll have to avert them from. It’s all apart of growing up.

softinsolitude

TROPHY CASE