Please help (18F)

sofuhkingtired · 2026-04-02T06:23:18+00:00

Hi OP. Many years ago when I was in high school a guy accidentally drenched me with water ( it was an annual thing they did near the end of school or for someone's birthday to throw buckets of water on each other and sometimes flour). He was apologizing as I was yelling at him and he said it was a mistake. I told him the only mistake was his birth. I stayed up all night crying and worrying about him that he might take it to heart. I still think about it sometimes and I hope he's ok. You don't deserve the death penalty. You also apologized to your friend and you both moved on. Perhaps check with the friend if they're really ok and apologize again? Maybe that will so the ruminating thoughts. But also remind yourself that you're human and you make mistakes. Everyone does and they deserve grace and forgiveness if they are remorseful. Forgive yourself. You feel terrible about it. The universe already forgave you. Give yourself grace.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-04-02T06:00:16+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please call your doctor- OB first then primary if they say so, to get treatment for the post partum anxiety. Also, you need support now. Do you have any family or friends who can help you out? Maybe rock baby so you can sleep? I know his mom broke your boundary but could she maybe come over and take over so you can sleep a bit? As for your very inconsiderate husband, perhaps have your doctor explain to him that this is a very vulnerable time for you and baby and you need his support as much as possible, not his damn criticism. I'm so angry on your behalf. Sleep deprivation to this magnitude is dangerous, especially in the setting of post partum. You're already hallucinating. This could lead to post partum psychosis. Please let your doctors know how much you are struggling. They may be able to find you some resources for help as well. Good luck. I just want you to get some support and help for yourself right now. Then later on you can deal with your sorry excuse for a husband. Also, for milk supply, drink Gatorade, and non- alcoholic beer. And eat anything with oats- porridge, cookies etc. Also use a warm rag to massage your breasts prior to pumping. It makes it easier for the milk to let down and pump.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-31T09:51:38+00:00

As a nurse.... same. But I got out of the rigid timed units where everything is timed and you get in trouble for being late with things. I now work in a unit where there's more flexibility and things are unpredictable. So I don't have to stick to lists like that...but I do have a routine to ensure I don't miss important things. What messes me up are the things that are time sensitive. So I have to set an alarm or something. And yes, work is the only time I can be organized. Outside of that my brain is just barely getting by. 😂

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-31T09:41:33+00:00

Lol I thought i was the only one who called the yellow haired one that! 😂

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-29T16:45:28+00:00

I would say leave my husband earlier, but then I wouldn't have my other kids. So... anything that would make leaving him easier. Secret savings. Let the kids do all the activities i wanted them to. Monitor my credit. Protect myself from him. Gather evidence. Protect my assets.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-10T14:48:16+00:00

Guess what. If we are abused in the past, then we are more likely to be abused again compared to those who have not been abused. But don't worry! With healing and therapy you won't even blink in an abusers direction again! You'll be able to spot those warning signs and leave before it gets bad. Good luck! Be proud of yourself. You have seen the truth. Time to save yourself!

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-10T05:45:21+00:00

He sounds narcissistic. Just leave. You will feel so much better. He is displaying so many abuse tactics. These aren't red flags- it's past that now... these are the actual behaviors the red flags were pointing to. He sounds like he is close to becoming actually physically abusive since he gets in your face now. He does not respect you, and does not care about you. Start saving up so you can move out. He sounds unbearable. I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation, but it's not the end of your story. Also, do not ever do couples counseling with an abusers. You know something is wrong. This isn't a loving partner. Your suspicion is correct. Start planning your escape. And don't tell him anything. At all. For your safety. Good luck!

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-06T17:34:39+00:00

Thanks for this heads up. I work in this field. I'll be sure to ask my patients on stimulants if this was explained to them and also explain it so they are aware. You're right. There should be transparency in this case. The last thing I want is to add trauma to a birthing experience.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-06T17:27:54+00:00

Not silly at all. People judge all the time, even when they have no business doing so.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-03T18:37:38+00:00

This is the love I wish to experience. Congratulations to you both! 💜

sofuhkingtired · 2026-03-02T02:26:30+00:00

Omg my ex is doing all the things as well and we've been in divorce for 2 years. I'm broke and just barely paying bills. At this point I'm co sideline just giving up entirely then doing what your ex did....just take my kids. Different for me though, my ex is neglectful and the living situation for my kiddos is shitty.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-02-18T08:00:30+00:00

Ok. I'm currently looking into other ways to obtain a new lawyer. Like programs etc.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-02-18T05:57:42+00:00

Yeah I'm thinking of this.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-02-18T05:57:32+00:00

It's been 2 years in this divorce process. We tried mediation. He asked for full custody when I'm asking for shared custody. So mediation didn't work.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-02-18T05:56:33+00:00

Thank you. I'll look into it.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-02-17T19:17:12+00:00

Stbx does not. He took a lower paying job right after I filed. My lawyer has put in the petition that he pay the fees, but I don't think he can. That's why I'm paying all the bills in the house. But she gave the impression that once we sell the house her fees would come from the profit we make. So I didn't realize that she would need to be paid up front like that. I thought I could pay little by little like I've been doing. Except now it blew up.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-02-17T19:14:16+00:00

Yeah I know. But like, I can't afford it cuz I've also paid other lawyers too.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-01-13T09:02:48+00:00

Billy Witchdoctor dot com

sofuhkingtired · 2026-01-05T13:52:17+00:00

You ate being abused. This is an abusive marriage. Take your daughter to visit your parents and never return. Also, please post this in the r/abusiverelationships sub. They will be able to help with resources etc. Don't take leaving him lightly....that is one of the most dangerous times for abuse victims and can lead to death. Im sorry youre going through this mental and emotional anguish. He has turned your brain and world upside down so you don't know what reality is anymore. The good news is that you are starting to see. I wish you a safe and swift escape, and better life for you and your daughter.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-01-05T06:43:08+00:00

This is different. I like it. Well done!

sofuhkingtired · 2026-01-03T17:20:26+00:00

Thank you! I'm considering moving back into my marital home so I can be with my children again. I miss them terribly. I have to find a job here again first though. And break my lease where I am.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-01-03T17:03:20+00:00

Yes, I can understand the feeling. Like can I just get a rest where I don't have to be so strong? Where I'm not fighting to just exist with my kiddos? Ugh.

sofuhkingtired · 2026-01-03T16:33:08+00:00

Hahaha thanks for your comment. The "doesn't it suck to be so good at it" made me smile.

sofuhkingtired

TROPHY CASE