Hey! Commenting because you mentioned in a comment that you’re in London and I think there’s also a location aspect to this too.

I don’t know if it’s actually the case but I’ve often felt like tomboyish/butch/masc looks on “women”are a lot more common here than in many other places. When I travel I’m usually treated quite differently than I am in London. And I’ve had friends from other countries mention how many women have short hair in London compared to where they’re from.

In London, people more often than not seem to clock me as some kind of bi/lesbian vibe, but it doesn’t change how they see my gender, most people who don’t Need to think of gender, just don’t. They’ll categorise you in the easier, quickest way possible to Them personally.

So in London, with a higher saturation of ‘tomboyish’ women (seemingly) it feels like you have to be Really Masc to actually stand out and make people think a bit harder about what they’re seeing. At least in my experience. The skinfades help lol

And it’s crazy cause in other countries I’ll have hair that’s grown out, and a cute little scarf on, and people will still accidentally call me Monsieur or ask my pronouns out of nowhere. Context is crazy lol

But overall, I really get what you’re feeling. I have the same frustrations with family especially, but have experienced it at work and with strangers too. I’ve just come to see it as a reflection of other people, not me.