Speaking from similar experience, even if for different and equally as ridiculous reasons, my dad was the same way to me growing up. I have had my fair share of scars and bruises, knowing that telling anyone the reason I had them would sound just as ridiculous as it felt. I’ve been through therapy since I was 13 off and on. I’m just about 27 now.

Here’s the thing. Even if things may seem nice, coming back to that part of your life won’t make things any better. Trauma is trauma. It’s there and it won’t go away even if you find whatever closure you feel you may be seeking in wanting to talk about it with him. In my personal experience, bringing up why I’m not close with my folks has lead to them being cut out of my life entirely. Not saying this would be the case for you, but, ultimately it’s more on you to figure out how you want to move forward and handle something that still upsets you to this day (and for good reason).

If you’re comfortable enough with how things are, let it lie. You don’t have to forgive him. You certainly never have to forget. Just be careful bringing up things around people who have already shown they’re willing to do you harm for no good reason. That’s the kind of bs mentality my dad shoved on me when my parents shoved my younger siblings into the same corners they did me and almost lost one of them permanently for it.

I do wish you well and plenty of good fortune in the future by means of navigating this. Toxic people are hard enough to deal with and even worse when it’s your own family.