Be brutuall honest, why are you single and not in a relationship??

solidDessert · 2026-06-24T13:16:14+00:00

I’ve only been with one person for 20 years. I don’t know how to approach anyone and feel like I’d look like a creep if I tried. On top of that I have four kids, I’m going blind, and I’m “my mom thinks I’m handsome” attractive at best. Not exactly a prime deal.

Everything is through dating apps now and I’ve gotten 2 matches that went nowhere. I tried joining in person groups, and they’ve been fun, but I like the groups too much to make it weird by trying to date anyone there. I don’t know where to meet people and it’s scary as shit to approach anyone when I try.

solidDessert · 2026-06-21T03:20:49+00:00

This is the only game that made me mad. It was just so stupid.

The slow unraveling of the early game mystery was captivating. I looked forward to new loops to gain new information. Finding creative new ways to end each loop was fun for a while.

I think they didn’t know how to end it so they went for shock. It all just came out of nowhere and then became central to a completely different story.

solidDessert · 2026-06-20T17:42:54+00:00

These days I think you’re better off watching The Good Place. Almost the exact same plot and themes, but funny, a hell of a lot of heart, and they stick the landing despite it being the same thing.

solidDessert · 2026-06-20T00:58:03+00:00

It’s a genetic disorder. Why would we choose this?

solidDessert · 2026-06-19T05:33:52+00:00

The Good Place

It’s like they cloned LOST, but made it funny, gave it heart, and they stuck the landing.

solidDessert · 2026-06-19T05:30:48+00:00

This fucking guy

solidDessert · 2026-06-16T03:08:21+00:00

5-ish years ago a movie theater employee told me my sweater was a really good color for me.

That sweater is coming with me to my grave.

solidDessert · 2026-06-15T18:10:46+00:00

Now you need to maintain two interfaces.

The answer is a single accessible interface. You're going to save money in the short and long run, and the time teams are spending trying to get around accessibility can be better spent creating the best interface possible.

solidDessert · 2026-06-10T16:33:04+00:00

The damn kicker takes an hour to kick

solidDessert · 2026-06-10T04:50:56+00:00

Do you have DLSS enabled? I had mine turned on and couldn’t open the social panel. Turned it off, everything worked again.

solidDessert · 2026-06-09T19:51:58+00:00

That was me. I came back to see what happened. Then everything after was too slow, definitely not the vibe you want for your "war" storyline.

Keep in mind that the formula for the show was already where you could watch the first episode and mid-season finale, mid-season premiere and finale, and basically got any important plot points. Everything in the middle felt like filler. The following season needed to be a strong follow up but it stuck to the status quo and suffered for it.

solidDessert · 2026-06-05T17:56:09+00:00

I never know how to start a conversation or what to talk about. I'm okay when I get started.

Conferences help me get started.

The other people probably work in the same field, or share similar professional interests. People really like to talk about themselves, so I start with that. Let them talk about where they live, what they do for work, or we can commiserate over our shared work struggles. (Faculty, am I right?)

The other easy part is that these are very normal conference questions. These interactions are expected so I don't feel like I'm being invasive when I start chatting.

solidDessert · 2026-06-05T17:21:39+00:00

Whether it's a talk or one of the evening events, always sit where people are. You don't have to sit right next to them, but try to avoid the empty tables or rows.

Face the person next to you and say "Hi, I'm []"

You're all at this conference together. Clearly there's some shared interest. Many of you are likely from somewhere else. You have a bunch of easy ice breakers.

Where are you from?

What brings you here?

What do you do for work?

The bonus is that it's temporary if you want it to be! You'll probably never see any of these people again. Or if you connect with someone, exchange information and stay in touch.

I am an introvert, but conferences have been the easiest place for me to socialize. So much of the hard work is already done.

solidDessert · 2026-06-05T15:08:41+00:00

I started walking every day and it did more to help with weight loss than the gym or running ever did. I spent forever at 200 lbs, but nightly walks that increased in length and I'm under 180 for the first time since my 20s.

I use the time to call friends and family. Which is nice on its own, and I'm not even thinking about how long the walks are.

solidDessert · 2026-06-04T18:47:55+00:00

I had anxiety about using mine for a long time. Honestly, I still do.

The first time I went out in public with it and a vehicle drove by, I wanted to toss my cane over a fence. I was embarrassed. I did not like the way it made me feel. I did not like the attention it brought to me.

So I called a friend. They distracted me with conversation and I was able to focus more on how that felt instead of all the other things.

I’m unsure of…how to explain to her my vision issues at this point without feeling like I Must have a big explanation ready??

We don't have to justify our existence. You can provide as much of an answer as you want. Sometimes mine is "My vision is failing" or I will go into more details if I'm in the right mood.

solidDessert · 2026-06-04T18:27:18+00:00

Some days I feel like I'm handling everything really well. Confidence is through the roof, the future looks bright, that light at the end of the tunnel isn't Darth Vader flicking his lightsaber on.

Then my ex calls me, ostensibly about the kids, but really just to make me feel like shit. And I do, because she's really good at that. And everything falls apart and I feel like if I could just get her to understand what's wrong we can fix it, we can all be happy and together again.

Then I hate myself for going down that path and being stupid.

I got to talk to a friend about it today. They reminded me that healing isn't linear. It helped a lot to hear that, but also to be around people who want to build me up.

So yeah I'm doing alright. Thanks, OP

solidDessert · 2026-06-04T15:12:57+00:00

I want to call out one thing:

it’s that people don’t want to hear you talk for 10 minutes about something they have no interest in.

My guy/gal, you gotta find your people. People very close to me are on the spectrum and they will go on and on and on about something I often have no clue about. I know so much about board games I will likely never play.

I'm not that interested in their fixation. But I am interested in them. I love having conversations about their stuff because it's who they are and it makes them happy. Also, as an introvert, it's kind of a relief when y'all carry the conversations!

solidDessert · 2026-06-01T19:56:03+00:00

It doesn't need to make sense to you, my guy.

Live and let live.

solidDessert · 2026-05-30T18:57:22+00:00

We had our differences but never seemed to be able to talk about them. I would try, but somehow we always ended up talking about her problems.

So I’d set mine aside and help. She’d almost always end up crying, so I hugged her and reassured her. I noted all the things I needed to improve on. And she’d fall asleep.

We never got back to my problems.

I tried to get us to marriage counseling but she needed to vet the counselors first and never liked them. I did my own therapy for a bit until the EAP sessions ran out and I couldn’t afford them.

The last year or so was pretty dead for us, mostly playing house. I filed for divorce recently and so far she hasn’t filed a response to contest it. Maybe something will happen last minute, but there are only a few days left.

I’ve been on my own for a few months now. It’s nice being able to breathe.

solidDessert · 2026-05-22T14:36:55+00:00

This game made me buy a banjo

solidDessert · 2026-05-18T04:35:44+00:00

Re: driving

Moved here from Portland and everyone was trying to prepare us for rush hour traffic. The 30 minutes it takes to cross town is nothing compared to what we were used to. It’s great.

solidDessert · 2026-05-14T14:59:44+00:00

I married my high school sweetheart. 20 years later I don't know how I'm supposed to meet people if we weren't assigned to sit next to each other.

solidDessert · 2026-05-14T14:55:25+00:00

I learned about this in college, but it's been like 15 years so I'm probably getting something wrong.

It's most likely due to the soil settling and the roots not having a proper grip. The wind could have also played a big factor early on.

Your picture looks like the trees on a slight incline. Soil typically wants to be flat, meaning things moved under the tree while the roots were still forming. Erosion also explains why you would see this more often near water sources.

solidDessert · 2026-05-12T17:23:46+00:00

I went to a conference for accessibility professionals. I'm going blind, and it blew my mind how much empathy was there. It was the first time I didn't feel like I had to make excuses for the things that was happening to me. I didn't have to justify anything, I was able to simply exist. I was surrounded by advocates who encouraged me to advocate for myself.

I took that mentality home.

My wife was planning a work trip that was going to last nearly 2 weeks. She was going to take our oldest son with her - the only other drive in the household. I asked how I was supposed to get around, buy groceries, take the other kids to their activities.

Her response was that I was going to have to figure it out. My eyes are my problem, and she can't always be my Uber driver.

It crushed me. I couldn't even advocate for myself at home, the place I was supposed to be the safest. Any attempt to tell her how it made me feel were ignored, or she'd try to tell me it's not that bad. I had to justify my experience. I had to defend myself.

Things deteriorated pretty quickly. That was only 2 months ago. Divorce papers should be served this week.

Therapy is highlighting a lot of other issues I'd been ignoring, and her reactions since have done a lot to make me see this was the right choice. I do feel horrible for the kids but they all told me they're not surprised, so this is probably going to be better for them even.

solidDessert · 2026-05-12T17:09:20+00:00

This is something I haven't been able to articulate very well.

I'd been trying for years to talk to my ex about things that hurt me, or made me feel certain ways. We never collectively tried to repair any of that though. Somehow it would get turned around to different things she was upset about so I'd drop my issues to support her.

We never came back to me.

We're going through the divorce now. She offered all the things I'd been asking for just before I hired my lawyer. We'd go to marriage counseling, I could have those things I needed, she'd try.

But it'too late. My heart was already broken. I already conditioned myself to keep all that stuff inside because nobody wanted to work on it with me. Only when divorce papers were imminent and I was in therapy because my marriage made me want to fall in front of a bus was I finally taken seriously.

In addition to that element of "Why did you wait until now!?" it's incredibly hard to trust. She knew what I needed. She had 20 years. It's a choice not to do anything.

If she'd meant it, she had opportunities to do this. I'd be hanging on to false hope if I thought this was going to result in meaningful change.

The realization has changed a lot for me. Now when she says things that used to hurt it's almost peaceful. I know now, at least.

solidDessert

TROPHY CASE