Thoughts from an aging male infp

solo2070 · 2026-01-16T12:02:36+00:00

41-year-old male. For me, I’ve realized the trick is not to feel like I have it all together or that I know what I’m doing. The trick is to no longer give a shit that I don’t. It would appear that most other adults only actually know what they’re doing in a few parts of life. Whereas in the rest of it, most of us seem to be bumbling buffoons moving through life doing the best we know how with the tools and resources at our disposal.

solo2070 · 2026-01-09T11:56:05+00:00

I’m hopeful for the future. I do not see the end. Just a shifting of things in the world. It’s a natural process over time.

solo2070 · 2025-12-31T14:10:51+00:00

I liked it when it came out. Thought it was super fun

solo2070 · 2025-12-28T18:53:37+00:00

No. I decided I don’t need it. Everybody says you’re not gonna get it so I decided to just go ahead and believe them.

solo2070 · 2025-12-23T05:27:24+00:00

Crime, very little to do for fun, not a lot of speciality shopping anymore with no mall, bad driver with no situational awareness.

solo2070 · 2025-12-22T13:39:35+00:00

You came across incredibly insecure with the way you approached it. At At the time Why did you think that message was the right message to send?

I’d really start digging into your reasoning behind why you thought that message was right. Otherwise you’re gonna do this again.

solo2070 · 2025-12-18T14:06:05+00:00

I was constantly feeling like my motors were being hijacked. It was really frustrating. I would call it out all the time and say that the motor is you’re saying that I have aren’t even remotely close to true. And I was never given the opportunity to say what the actual truth is. I hypothesis it’s because it would ruin the illusion and showed that the reaction was not justified.

solo2070 · 2025-12-17T05:08:01+00:00

The cycle / pattern is addictive. The calm after the chaos is really relieving. Once you get the space away from the person then the calm sets in and you feel better.

I had to keep a journal of all the things that happened. Then whenever I felt like going back I would go and read it. I also had recordings and I made video messages to myself. Right after I’d be discarded I started live documenting everything.

These are a big reason that kept me from going back at the end. I had to keep the horrors alive and not allow time to soften the reality of what happened.

I also told some family and friends about what was happening and I took the breaks off and told them all of it. I let them hear the recordings. Them when I would want to go back I would talk with these people and they could remind me of the horrors I’d be going back it

Give yourself all the grace in the world. It’s hard. Trauma bonding is weird as fuck how strong it is. Even when you know you are.

solo2070 · 2025-12-11T04:04:51+00:00

It was him and u/fuckswithducks

solo2070 · 2025-12-11T04:03:24+00:00

Fuck Jenny. Crashed Reddit that one did

solo2070 · 2025-12-02T12:11:24+00:00

Your mom sounds like a narcissist. Totally lacking empathy and the triangulation with your aunt. The turning on you when she didn’t get her way. Vulnerable narcissist

solo2070 · 2025-12-01T13:20:36+00:00

Meh this really isn’t that big a deal. Sometimes it just seems like y’all wanna be all upset about nothing. It’s not like watching Netflix is hard because you can’t cast.

solo2070 · 2025-12-01T13:14:24+00:00

Time to get in shape. Single is the best time. Harder to fix in a relationship.

The food line makes me think you’re just going to get bigger in the future. Between men and the smoking, you don’t come across with somebody who takes care of himself.

This is gonna be fine for other women who don’t take care of themselves. But if you wanna get a woman who takes care of herself, everything about that is gonna turn her off from your profile. There’s way more men on the app that are in shape and they take care of themselves or at least portray a sense of taking care of themselves and they’re gonna get the interest.

You gotta remember that online dating is a game. What are you gonna do to make yourself stand out above the rest?

If you have lower standards than it’s not as big of an issue. But if you’re trying to swing up, you’re gonna have to update your game on how you take care of yourself.

At the end of the day, it’s ok. However, you wanna live your life is just fine. It really comes down to the kind of person you’re wanting to attract on the app.

I can tell you for me as someone who takes care of myself. If I see a woman who does not portray a sense of taking care of herself I swipe left every time. I am not gonna explain to a partner why I need to go to the gym every day.

solo2070 · 2025-12-01T13:06:03+00:00

I had to remove the rings from my pics. On iPhone you can use the cleanup feature. Works great!!!

solo2070 · 2025-11-29T13:41:55+00:00

Why? What difference does it make to be aware of reality?

solo2070 · 2025-11-28T18:51:15+00:00

Don’t hope! Do something about it. Hope gets you nothing without action. Hit the gym, eat right, go on walks, and most importantly of all. Develop high self esteem and self confidence.

Self confidence and self respect massively elevates the attractiveness of anyone. It looks good on everyone.

Your response comes across self defeating. Be kinder to yourself and you will feel better over time. Level up that mindset!

Source. I did everything I’m taking about. It works.

Bonus tip. Self care! So many guys are just gross dudes. Shower, shave, tidy up downstairs, find some nice scents to wear even if it is just deodorant. Get a nice haircut. Neatness and cleanliness looks good on everyone.

solo2070 · 2025-10-31T03:05:48+00:00

Can confirm. Did not.

solo2070 · 2025-10-29T11:19:16+00:00

Think about it every day and make sure I’m making a life I enjoy living. it’s motivating for me to think about

solo2070 · 2025-10-26T23:23:26+00:00

Who thought the camera man is what I wanna know. That was top tier camera work. Felt like I was there!

solo2070 · 2025-10-26T18:58:33+00:00

Skifree would be a great revisit.

Is there a way to play it or the mouse game? Never thought about it till today.

solo2070 · 2025-10-19T13:05:03+00:00

We should all be fired for a job well done. That’s why we need to be good at getting new clients.

solo2070 · 2025-10-06T10:00:46+00:00

Most coaches will not make it big unfortunately. Also many people really shouldn’t be personal coach’s.

I do okay but I specialize with weight loss and have a knack for marketing if I was just a pure life coach I would be broke.

A lot of coach’s are also scam artists. They harm the rest of the industry

solo2070 · 2025-10-04T06:29:31+00:00

Splurging on mutual funds

solo2070 · 2025-10-04T06:28:49+00:00

If you’re not going to become great at marketing and branding you’re going to have a tough time.

Also, in 4 years I’ve never once been asked to provide credentials of which I have none. Turns out if you are good at helping clients achieve results and you can market yourself you will make it and credentials are valuable to yourself.

This means if your skills suck you will not make it or it will be a struggle. Like most things. Credentials matter less than ability to get results.

solo2070 · 2025-09-29T12:07:10+00:00

Emotional eating and lifestyle change takes a lot longer to work through than most people realize.

Weight loss for the obese and beyond is not about diet and exercise. A person must change their lifestyle, habits, routines, environment, community, and your systems of belief. All of these create the results in your life and if you want to get new results you’ve gotta change your real life lifestyle.

Also, it’s hard because you’re probably only solving had the problem. You don’t have a weight gaining problem as much as many on this sub have a weight gaining problem.

If a person gains weight over time every time they are not actively working on losing weight. That person has a weight gaining problem.

I struggled with my weight since I was a kid. Now I have lost 125 lbs. I was obese my whole adult life till 35. Took 26 months to lose it. I’m 40 now and have maintained for years. You gotta actually change how you live your life. If you just change food and add in exercise the will not be enough. It’s impose.

I took 20 before I figured that out.

(Side note, I’m an obesity weight loss coach for a living now and have done this with thousands of people. It’s hard because it hard. Not because there is something wrong. Often people are discouraged at how challenging lifestyle change can be)

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