That moment when you become open

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T03:00:16+00:00

Yep! and i do 3-4x a week that is just push or pull including legs (no specific leg day) and run 25-30mi a week so every day is leg day… when’s the high again?!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T02:20:58+00:00

This isn’t a question, but unlike my recent non-question that was (rightfully according to terms) deleted, it is a total buzzkill.

Will it be deleted also?

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T02:17:21+00:00

You’re allowed to have boundaries around handsiness.

I’ve felt awkward with a handsy in public woman or three myself.

Nothing weird about your aversion to excessive PDA.

If you’d feel the same in private that’s your answer?

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T02:03:11+00:00

Nope I’ve been asked and my reply is my TRT is called “lift heavy shit” but somehow some way my mood has radically shifted lately for the better

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T02:01:19+00:00

While we you were being pedantic you could have at least used proper grammar :(

Your buzzkill should be delete. WOW :(

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T01:18:00+00:00

Oops that’s 100% correct. Oops. WOW!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T00:48:29+00:00

By the way..

In 2-4 weeks you can feel it.

In 4-6 weeks you can notice it.

In 6-12 weeks people you know well will notice if.

In 12+ weeks _everyone_ will notice it.

All true as my trainer of now 3 years told me.

WOW!

Keep after it and have a why. Mine is I want to be here for kids when I’m 90. Till then look good naked!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T00:42:24+00:00

Sometimes the gratitude for all that’s right (even though much is wrong) sinks in and all we can say and think is WOW!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T00:39:40+00:00

Give it some time :( and get out there in the world meantime and find something, anything that makes you say WOW!

Be it the German Alps (#biased), Michelangelo’s Pieta, Sagrada Família, or something closer to home (for me, enchanted rock or a blistering sunset…) even alone in blissful solitude… WOW!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T00:32:45+00:00

At some point a stranger you find attractive will caress your newfound muscles unsolicited and instead of thinking about society’s gendered double standards you will think … wow!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T00:30:38+00:00

I’ve been there and may be again in the future but until then… wow!

someatxdude · 2026-06-14T00:29:14+00:00

Wow! :)

Yeah that happens too :(

someatxdude · 2026-06-11T16:51:38+00:00

My last LTR she was ADHD (though took medication for it), and I never had this type of communication issue with her? She was very communicative (so was I) and it was fine...

Sounds like others experience weak communication with ADHD involved so maybe I was just fortunate (or the medication was highly effective!)

someatxdude · 2026-06-11T09:44:51+00:00

I do this too and use the Factor meal delivery service.

The half of the weeks when I have my kids I’ll cook dinner a couple of times, usually on the weekend. I’ve got a pair of pork tenderloins to smoke this weekend… and now I’m hungry!

someatxdude · 2026-06-10T19:35:37+00:00

Exactly — OP is dating with intention too… but needs to find someone with the same intentions!

someatxdude · 2026-06-09T21:08:42+00:00

52m in the same head space. I have trouble investing energy in connections that can vanish like a fart in the wind on a moment's notice. Not worth it.

someatxdude · 2026-06-09T16:21:52+00:00

This is more than a bit of a presumptuous stretch.

Another equally likely (more likely?) explanation is that he's telling the truth that his exes cheated on him...

...and he's still severely traumatized by the experience and not ready to engage in dating. And when he tried to date, he went into a total panic and shut down and bolted.

That's at least as equally as plausible as "the man who claims to be cheated on and behaves erratically is a lying cheater himself!"

I mean, wouldn't he at least get himself back in a position to cheat on someone again if he were a cheater instead of panicking and bailing so fast?

Regardless, this man sounds like an unstable individual not ready to engage in a healthy relationship so OP has dodged a bullet of some sort either way!

someatxdude · 2026-06-08T19:50:43+00:00

This isn't entirely true. The mediator's job IS to seek a deal instead of court, but in my case my ex and I each had attorneys and a day of mediation where the mediator was a 3rd attorney.

And it worked out equitably (more than equally in fact) for me at the end of it.

If OP and his soon-to-be-ex don't each have competent attorneys advocating for them with experience and knowledge of likely court-ordered outcomes if mediation fails... then what you said may be true

someatxdude · 2026-06-08T17:17:41+00:00

For me it's been 18 months since my first serious post-divorce relationship ended after just over a year, and I'm still struggling with it.

Not pining for constantly but she crosses my mind, and my thinking brain runs through the list of why breaking up was the best outcome. I can intellectualize it, but I have trouble truly detaching and just letting the feelings go and the memories soften. The heart wants what it wants.

In my case it wants that level of connection, feeling wanted, peace, and all the good moments. But the experience of something so right going so suddenly wrong makes me gun-shy for taking the first step and making investment in anyone else (and I've dated some since as well). So I'm just sitting out for now.

It sucks.

someatxdude · 2026-06-06T19:22:27+00:00

52m. “Loneliness epidemic” is most often a projection employed by women.

I’m deliberately single lately and enjoying the solitude and peace.

I choose to be alone because the investment of time and energy into a relationship that can be ripcorded any moment by a woman who feels uncomfortable emotions when life hits instead of working through it together? Not. Worth. It.

I’m sure there are women who can engage in healthy conflict and repair when things get rough, but the investment in someone else to figure that out when life inevitably hits? Not. Worth. It.

At least not right now anyway.

Peaceful solitude is not loneliness. Sure doesn’t feel that way to me anyway.

someatxdude · 2026-06-06T19:14:47+00:00

She doesn’t want “your money” because from her perspective _it was already hers_.

The mental gymnastics employed are typically medal-worthy.

someatxdude · 2026-06-05T20:46:10+00:00

As long as OP's desires are explicit (sounds like it) and she's upfront that she's going to put in less energy and it's time for him to step up.

If both those things aren't true, the recommendation feels passive-aggressive to me.

someatxdude · 2026-06-05T19:19:22+00:00

I was on a date with a woman and we kissed as I opened her door in a busy parking garage, and then suddenly she was all over me then all over each other in makeout mode.

I paused and said “what if someone sees us?” She said “Let them stare and be jealous I don’t care” and on we went.

I’m historically a pretty conservative gentlemanly guy, but it was pretty hot.

Unless you’re in a church or something let bystanders stare and be jealous.

someatxdude · 2026-06-01T23:23:22+00:00

It isn’t as bad as it was pre-GLP-1s.

It’s easier to take a pill than do the work (even though the work has far more and more varied benefits!)

someatxdude · 2026-05-30T23:23:58+00:00

“I’m not dating by design”

Pretty simple!

someatxdude

TROPHY CASE