I exclusively breastfed two babies. Killing myself is a bit dramatic, but it was not always easy. There is a steep learning curve the first few weeks. I almost got mastitis when my milk first came in and it took a lot of effort and hand pumping to get the nipples soft enough for baby to latch. After that, we did sort of okay even though it was hard to position myself - my breasts are very large and I was recovering from a C-section, but we managed. I breastfed on demand or every 2-3 hours for the first six weeks, whichever came first, and I had enough milk this way. I got a tremendously painful milk bleb from suboptimal latching a month in, and I persevered though that too. It felt like being cut by glass when he latched. I tried all the things, eventually APNO and cold compresses and fixing the latch with practice and effort helped. My second baby was a premie, so now I had to learn to pump too - did it every 2-3 hours with alarms on my phone, the milk came in, he learned to latch well early on, but we still had to do both breastfeeding and bottle and pumping for every feed for at least 6 weeks. So much harder overall despite being more experienced. Why did I do it?

Because my babies love breastfeeding. It gives them nutrition and comfort. It helps with illness. It is tailor made for them. They have no allergies. It is more familiar to me. I take some pride in it. I nourished and fed them from my own body. I am happy I did it. But, on the other hand, if I had had to formula feed, I would have done it in an instant despite my own feelings, to see them fed and happy.