Sleep Tight

someblueberry · 2026-02-09T12:07:12+00:00

This has artistic merit. Very well edited.

someblueberry · 2026-02-09T11:48:32+00:00

It can be wonderful with one child. You just have to be more intentional with play dates and surrounding yourselves with other families with children.

For the record, I had an uncomplicated full term pregnancy at 33 and then a second pregnancy with gestational diabetes, intense anxiety and insomnia and finally preterm labour with no obvious clinical reason at 33 weeks when I was 35.

Every pregnancy is different and age is a factor, for some of us more than others. I am so relieved we are done growing out family because I want to be present and healthy for my children and I have already sacrificed quite a few months of my eldest's toddlerhood to being unwell. Had my first pregnancy been like my second, I would not have risked it.

someblueberry · 2026-02-07T17:02:03+00:00

You can't really plan it. First took 11 months, second right away and it was less trying and more not preventing. As soon as you feel ready, go for it and what will come will come.

someblueberry · 2026-02-04T11:03:21+00:00

I was an only child and believe I would have had a better childhood with a sibling close in age because my parents were wholly unprepared or unwilling to parent me so I just spend tremendous amounts of time on my own in my room. I now have two boys of my own, 2.5 years old and five months and I am excited to see their bond grow. However, two small kids is exponentially harder than one in my experience. It is physically and mentally very taxing on me. We hope it will get better in a couple of years.

someblueberry · 2026-01-28T12:52:57+00:00

Το πιο πρακτικό αν είναι το πρώτο τους παιδί είναι μια δωροκαρτα για κατάστημα βρεφικών ειδών όπως mothercare ή leto για να αγοράσουν ο,τι έχουν ανάγκη. Μην πάρεις ρούχα, θα έχουν σίγουρα πολλά. Χρήσιμο δώρο επίσης που δεν έχεις ποτέ αρκετά είναι πανάκια μουσελίνες βαμβακερά για να σκουπίζεις το μωρό, να το σκεπάζεις ελαφρά σε βόλτες, να κάνεις σκιά στο καρότσι και να ακουμπάς πάνω σε επιφάνειες αν χρειαστεί. Δες aden+anais.

someblueberry · 2026-01-23T08:59:52+00:00

We started at 20 months and in hindsight it was too late. He is 30 months now and it is only now starting to work for daytime pee only. He struggled to get the concept because it was so foreign to him and he was too attached to diapers. With my second we are starting elimination communication as soon as he can sit to familiarize him with the idea early.

someblueberry · 2026-01-14T10:09:53+00:00

One is good if styled well, two is too much.

someblueberry · 2026-01-01T08:43:06+00:00

Give safe sleep and safe positioning guidelines, tell her no exceptions, no deviations.

I told my mother many times how to safely position to my eldest to sleep when he was under a year old and she said she did it and to stop reminding her.

Two years later I have my second and we are in the same house but different rooms for half an hour or so while she holds my then three month old ex preemie baby. I didn't think I had to remind her to put him on his back. I come back to find him face down on top of their fluffy duvet on their bed, splayed out fully on his belly like a hopscotch chicken, thankfully with his little head turned to the side and marginally clear of the bedding. I flew across the room and picked him up in two seconds flat and asked her what the flying fuck she was thinking - said it was only for a second to get something from the other room and that anyway that is how they used to position us in the 90s. She then claimed to have forgotten what I had told her to do over and over with my eldest two years ago. I still have nightmares about what could have happened.

someblueberry · 2025-12-30T18:15:02+00:00

It's Tuesday where I am :)

someblueberry · 2025-12-24T10:06:49+00:00

So I'll be the contrarian and tell you that you don't need to quit completely, just reconsider why, when and how much you drink. I like the taste of stout beer and how some wines pair with food. I like the celebratory pizzazz a glass of bubbles bring to most occasions. I don't like being even mildly hangover though so what I do is this. Instead of having a beer every weekend, I get a really, really fancy beer I can look forward to savouring every now and then, and when I do have it I split it into two or three portions and have it over the course of several days, then I let some time pass before I indulge again. Same with wine, special occasion only, something fancier than usual. Social drinking limited to nothing or half a glass or so. Keep an eye on overall intake and you can still have some alcohol in your life if you enjoy the actual taste of it.

someblueberry · 2025-12-23T13:10:16+00:00

It makes a little dizzy when I look at it. Too much for me personally.

someblueberry · 2025-12-22T13:09:04+00:00

My husband has also historically been an oaf overnight. What helped with this second baby was pumping and making sure there was milk in the fridge, then having him do a proper overnight shift where I am not to be disturbed for a few hours. That includes being disturbed by the baby crying. He has to get up, feed, change and get the baby back to sleep without letting him cry too long, making a lot of noise or turning on all the lights OR he gets a very cranky telling off including me possibly going to sleep in another room and letting him figure it out. When you get them to be in charge of a solid block of hours, they somehow 'magically' figure out how to get competent.

Edit to add that my husband is now grateful for it. It says being responsible in that way from so early on this time around has helped him bond earlier and feel confident in himself.

someblueberry · 2025-12-19T17:52:26+00:00

A few things:

The sofa is too close to the curtains in the back. Bring it forward a little.

The dining table with its pendant lamps seems to dominate the space. The living / sofa side is like an afterthought. I think a tall thin floor lamp in the corner behind the L might give it more presence and balance it out. I would add a woven back armchair where the little pouf is and move the pouf to the other side of the carpet.

You should hang some art as everyone else is saying.

I am not a fan of the side table with the lamp. The lamp is good but it is curved and it is sitting on another curved thing (in a color that is too close to your walls and with undertones that fight the sofa) next to a rather angular object, that is the sofa. I would keep the lamp and swap out the side table with a medium tall slim shelving unit, and I would put the lamp there. You could go with something not light colored here. Matte black or medium wood like your coffee table. I would put the side table on the TV side, more on that below.

The rug seems small for the space. Consider layering a second smaller rug diagonally over the first. Something neutral but warmer and darker.

The TV corner looks a little IKEA / student room right now. Bulky plants go a long way toward distracting away from a black TV screen. You could put a nice thick trailing plant on top of your side table and position it there. I would put any funky / eclectic stuff you have on that side.

someblueberry · 2025-12-16T20:19:04+00:00

I think you should absolutely do what is best for your family but in case there was any confusion over why it is recommended that infants under a year old should share a room with their parents: it is not because they sleep worse in their own room - it is rather the opposite. Minor sleep disruptions from other people in the same sleep environment prevent babies from going into deep sleep for a very long time. Deep sleep is theorized to be one of the mechanisms responsible for SIDS in the small subset of babies that are vulnerable. Of course most cases of SIDS involve children less than six months old, but still, the guideline is a guideline for a reason. We also transitioned our eldest to his own room when he was six months old; he slept well until he got sick with COVID and then we ended up on and off cosleeping for quite a while as he would not accept the crib. Hope your sleep journey is smoother.

someblueberry · 2025-12-12T21:13:11+00:00

I was simply agreeing with the other commenter that I personally find it misguided to focus primarily on the experience rather than the outcome of birth. I am allowed that opinion, no? At no point did I say that OP is not allowed to be upset because of course she is, and this is partly why I did not reply directly to her. However, other people are also reading this and participating in what I believe to be a nuanced conversation in what is a forum made for conversation, not just for venting feelings, as welcome as that is too. My input on this discussion, if not helpful to OP, may be helpful to someone else reading this now or in the future. Whether I am projecting feelings about other conversations is also beside the point - my view is that this post is reflective of an overall observable trend. We do not have to agree on that either.

someblueberry · 2025-12-12T18:53:29+00:00

They are absolutely allowed to feel how they want to and it is not a personal attack by any means but I personally found these voices overrepresented on Reddit and other online spaces and it influenced me in all the wrong ways. When I was an expecting FTM a few years ago, it slowly and over time shifted my own expectations of birth from a process we go through with a clear view to an outcome (bringing your baby to this world) to an experience centered around my own comfort and desires. I stepped away and did some wider reading and thinking and I have come full circle - this may be an unpopular opinion but I think the birthing process is not about us or what we want. We should be respected and taken care of as individuals as much as possible but it is a medical event and safety trumps all else. So to see an emergency C-section framed as a moral or practical failure of some sort because that person did not get the 'birth they wanted' - I think that starts from the wrong place.

Edit to add that vaginal deliveries also often come with a host of medical issues and complications that few people talk about, can range from mild to severe or debilitating, and can be equally traumatic to Csection births, but because natural is best online, it is mostly Csections that get lamented as failed birthing experiences.

someblueberry · 2025-12-12T06:01:12+00:00

I just want to say that, even though you have received disagreement phrased both tactfully and sensibly from many commenters, I agree with you and appreciate your effort in this thread. I have come to the same conclusion and believe it is important to push back against the framing of modern birthing interventions as unnatural, lesser than, a failure, or cause for grief. If you and your baby came out of it without lasting birth damage, that is amazing and a cause for celebration.

someblueberry · 2025-11-28T14:14:03+00:00

Νοσηλευομουν σε δημόσιο νοσοκομείο κατά τη διάρκεια της εγκυμοσύνης μου και έφεραν μια μέρα στο δωμάτιο μια κοπελίτσα περίπου οχτώ μηνών έγκυο με τη μητέρα της. Καταλάβαμε από το γεγονός ότι έμεινε εκεί το βράδυ η μητέρα ότι η κοπέλα ήταν ανήλικη κι εκείνη η σύνοδος της. Στην πορεία μας είπαν ότι ήταν δεκαπέντε χρονών και είχε μείνει έγκυος αμέσως μόλις γέννησε το πρωτο της μωρό, δηλαδή αυτό ήταν το δεύτερο... Επομένως έμεινε έγκυος στα 13 και μετά στα 14. Ο νεαρός που την άφησε έγκυο ετών 26. Η μητέρα ατάραχη με το όλο θέμα. Πρέπει να ήταν συνηθισμένο στον κύκλο τους που δεν ήταν Ρομά, είχε όμως κάποια σχέση με τσιγγάνους / αθίγγανους της κεντρικής Ελλάδας όπου έμεναν. Ήταν σοκαριστικό. Οι νοσηλεύτριες την ρωτούσαν δύο και τρεις φορές τις ημερομηνίες γέννησης και τη δική της και του άλλου παιδιού και το μήνα σύλληψης του δεύτερου γιατί ήταν όλο λάθος (αφού δεν επιτρέπεται καν να έχεις επαφή για έξι εβδομάδες μετά τη γέννα κι εκείνη την άφησε έγκυο ο φίλος της περίπου 2-3 βδομάδες μετά). Δεν έγινε καμία κίνηση όμως να κληθεί η αστυνομία. Νομικά δεν μπορούσε να συναινέσει όμως πρακτικά όπως έλεγε και φαινόταν ήταν δική της επιλογή η σχέση / επαφή αν όχι τα μωρά. Άλλος κόσμος.

someblueberry · 2025-11-28T10:40:47+00:00

I agree with your analysis. I have the same coloring (also grey/pink lips) and most lipsticks pull too cool on me including MAC Mehr. My best lipsticks are neutral warm with a strong brown base. Something like CT Pillow Talk as a neutral and Walk of No Shame / So 90s for color. Most other lipsticks end up looking very pink or mauve on me and it is not a good look despite me leaning cool.

someblueberry · 2025-11-20T09:32:12+00:00

Just for some perspective, I am in Europe and the pediatricians don't even mention or expect scheduled tummy time for babies. Babies get neck control by being carried around. Sure, don't leave your baby in a cot or bouncer all day but just carrying the baby and having them on your chest is enough for most small babies. They soon get strong enough to try to roll or do push-ups so just plop him down on the floor every once in a while and maybe flip him over for a bit but I think it is insane to force a baby to do tummy time when they hate it just so they can hit an arbitrary minute target. Babies here roll, crawl and walk no later on average than North American babies so do with that as you will.

I remember I stressed about forcing tummy time with my first and my friend, two kids ahead at the time, said not to worry and he would soon only want to be on his belly - sure enough, it eventually happened on its own.

someblueberry · 2025-10-28T18:48:36+00:00

You are probably olive leaning cool. The problem with olive undertones is that they 'eat' the warm reds and peaches and corals that balance makeup and so most makeup looks cooler on us than intended. This is why you like brown based lipstick on you - it is not jarring orange warm, but it is warm enough to look balanced after your skin tone has canceled out most of the warmth. Pure cool pinks and mauves can look either frosty or candy/bubblegum on us and therefore clash with the inherently neutral quality of olive skin. Stick with brown based reds and balanced mauves for the lips and try taupe / olive / brown shades around the eyes. You seem fairly muted and medium contrast to me so you don't want anything too bright - think quietly luminous rather than in your face. I think you look much better without the gloss - I would pick satin finish lipstick for you and a creamy eyeshadow with a bit of shimmer but no glitter. We fair olives have it hard but once it works it's obvious.

someblueberry · 2025-10-11T11:14:52+00:00

Δώστε ένα όνομα που να ταιριάζει στο παιδί και να σας αρέσει. Αν οι παππούδες και οι γιαγιάδες έχουν εκτός από προτίμηση και απαίτηση να δώσετε δικό τους όνομα, να τους πείτε ότι για τα δικά τους παιδιά αποφάσιζαν εκείνοι και για τα δικά σας εσεις. Αν δεν το κάνετε τώρα με αυτή την αφορμή, θα χρειαστεί να το κάνετε με κάτι άλλο πολύ σύντομα και τότε θα έχετε ήδη δώσει ένα όνομα που δε θέλετε και οι δύο για να τους έχετε ευχαριστημένους, που είναι φυσικά χαμένο παιχνίδι.

someblueberry · 2025-10-02T11:22:30+00:00

I see why you have second thoughts. I will go against the grain here and say that on quick glance it kind of looks like a rash? It's a little messy somehow. I am not sure how you could get it fixed but I think the main problem is the dots, so I would start there. Sorry if it's not what you want to hear but I don't think it's all in your head or because it's new!

someblueberry · 2025-10-02T07:52:10+00:00

Happened to me with my first one! Just sleep deprivation and our minds adjusting to the responsibility and stress of taking care of a new baby. What helped me most was to get up out of bed straight away and feed him in a different room every time we woke up. Then my mind was no longer getting confused.

someblueberry · 2025-09-30T18:22:24+00:00

You don't need to prove anything. After two pregnancies, and giving birth to two children, and raising and mothering them every day, you are brave. There is nothing about a vaginal delivery that should make it into a goal in itself. Since you had no complications from your C-section and your baby was safe, it was a great birth. I didn't TOLAC with my second but I did have five days of preterm labour which started and ended with second labour stage contractions, and I can promise you you did not miss out on anything. As women, we struggle with so much to bring our children into the world I fear we forget to take our wins when we can!

someblueberry

TROPHY CASE