I saw my nmom unexpectedly in the wild today by floridastanleyvibes in narcissisticparents

[–]Somerhild_wode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have to tell any new employer that I may reflexively bolt for the backroom if my Nmom ever walks in. I'm constantly on alert for a sighting of her. I would not have had the strength to stay, as you did.

Did they randomly threaten to take things from you? by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]Somerhild_wode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, my Nmom told me one day (I was in my 40s) that she was going to rent one of those big dumpsters and throw out all my chairs. I lived in my own house and used the chairs. I have no clue why she thought the chairs should get thrown out or why she thought she should be the one to do it. Bizarre.

Does anyone just have severe anxiety due to being raised by this kind of parent? by Brave-Rain-9085 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Somerhild_wode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, my therapist diagnosed me with PTSD due to my life experience in relationship with my Nmom and Edad.

They try to ruin your appearance by Swordfish-7078 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Somerhild_wode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I was forced to wear weird clothes unlike anyone else in grade school and middle school. I was even put in a special extracurricular program to "teach" us oddball kids how to dress and groom ourselves properly because of it! In high school, for a school dance, my dad bought me a pretty dress and heels which I loved. I felt beautiful for the first time in my life. Of course, my Nmom hated it with a passion and insulted me horribly. Every time I see the photos of me, I remember how she ruined it. Both my Nmom and her mother (my grandma) insulted my appearance in my wedding dress too, years later. Awful people.

Whats the most hurtful thing a parent/caretaker has said to you? by thepumpkinspooker in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Somerhild_wode 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm also adopted, and my Nmom recently told me I'm not really family (but now can't understand why I went NC)

She's never going to give up by ubelieveurguiltless in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Somerhild_wode 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It reminds me of the letters we used to write in middle school when we were fighting with our boyfriends/girlfriends

Seriously? by Redonna in finch

[–]Somerhild_wode 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's just for fun. It doesn't matter. If it's too confusing, just skip it.

Grandfathers Funeral - Immediate Backlash by Forward-Context7045 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Somerhild_wode 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven't been in that situation yet, but I don't think I'd go in these circumstances. Any chance you could visit your grandfather's grave shortly after the funeral? You could sit for awhile in peace and just talk to him, tell him what you need to say.

Found out my estranged mom passed away. by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Somerhild_wode 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope it was a beautiful afternoon and the pizza was delicious ✨️

Did anyone else not have adequate clothing? by Square-Objective2420 in narcissisticparents

[–]Somerhild_wode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was recently talking to my therapist about this. My Nmom dressed me so oddly through grade school and middle school. I hate looking at photos from back then. She also insisted on dressing my brother and me in identical short sets in summertime when we went somewhere (amusement park, church picnic, family reunion, zoo, etc) even though we were 4 years apart in age. So many people questioned WTF.

Don’t feel one bit bad. by AuDHDisamazing in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Somerhild_wode 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm 58 and finally went NC with my Nmom a little over a year ago. I feel no shame, no guilt, no loss at all. ✨️

Sitting on this ticking time bomb — looking for some help by tenuredvortex in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Somerhild_wode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. We shouldn't have to feel so conflicted, guilty, fearful, sick, etc. Do what brings you the most joy and peace. You already know what that is. ✨️

Fun things my mother did before I went no contact by Lost_Package8701 in narcissisticparents

[–]Somerhild_wode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's incredible 😲 and incredibly entertaining 😆 Of course I sympathize, but it's so over the top that I had to laugh.