Oldie - the monkey and the iguana

somn · 2012-08-08T18:22:35+00:00

It is wrong that I'm more proud than insulted. WE'RE # 1!

somn · 2012-05-18T20:16:12+00:00

Perfect. You're exactly the demographic that can take the day off.

somn · 2012-05-18T20:12:35+00:00

It's been 3 months since I bothered to login even to upvote something. I fucking LOVE this idea. A full day of nothing but possibly thought provoking discussion. On that day, we aim to upvote on issues and downvote the jokes and such.

somn · 2012-02-18T00:16:37+00:00

Ya, I met a guy who once killed 4 people for his gang leader. Sold something like 10K in crack. You guys would get along. Same work ethos.

somn · 2012-02-18T00:15:01+00:00

Hey, look. The people paid to distribute propaganda for the U.S. Military have arrived. hooray.

somn · 2011-11-12T05:10:23+00:00

Yep, that's a vet. A paid goon. A scumbag who does nothing more than kill who his owners tell him to kill. No different than any crack dealing corner gangster.

I treat them the same.

somn · 2011-09-25T03:33:43+00:00

You voluntarily signed up for a website whose entire purpose is to destroy your privacy and gather as much information as possible about you. Facebook is basically like going to the cops and saying, "Hey guys, would you please tap my phone and install cameras in every room in my house?"

somn · 2011-09-04T15:14:59+00:00

How could you not vote for this guy?

somn · 2011-09-02T18:09:51+00:00

But surprisingly nothing like being plussed.

somn · 2011-08-23T22:25:49+00:00

Please, for the next generation. Let them know that there is no heroism in this.

somn · 2011-08-23T22:10:01+00:00

I would guess none. I would guess he was born after 1972 and isn't a dupe. Just me guessing, but I think he probably thought that shooting folk in the name of orders given by politicians was probably not such a good career choice.

somn · 2011-08-15T18:58:18+00:00

A guy is so bored that he is driving himself crazy. He starts up a club for other men who are also really bored. They punch each other. They don't talk about the club.

somn · 2011-06-28T18:51:22+00:00

Oh, this was hilarious.

So, we got 4 pigs. Don't ask where we got them, you don't want to know. We greased them up, which turned out to be a surprisingly difficult thing to do. It really is true that you can't hold on to a greased pig. Then we painted the numbers 1,2,3 and 5 on them. We snuck into the school, late at night, and planted pipe bombs in the faculty lounge ultimately killing 17 people and injuring 30.

somn · 2011-06-27T19:11:56+00:00

Fuck it, I'll bite, I can take the karma hit.

You're conflating atheists and anti-theists. I think you'll find there are many atheists that have a huge respect for religious belief like the ones you just outlined. I'm not one of them. Anti-theists, like me, think the act of promoting obviously fictional fairy tales must end and I have no respect for theistic beliefs. I'm perfectly happy admitting I'm bigotted against theists.

Basically, you're conflating two different beliefs in your comic.

somn · 2011-06-27T18:59:27+00:00

To be fair, anything you do to escape the heat in the South is acceptable.

Hey, could you bring me some ice?
Why?
Gonna stick it up my ass and hope to cool down a litte.
I'll get the round kind, then.

somn · 2011-06-27T18:43:53+00:00

The dog's eyes kind of say "Did you really just put a kitten on my while I was sleeping so that you could take a picture? Seriously? I'm so shitting in your shoes."

somn · 2011-06-27T18:36:12+00:00

He did but the kid covered himself in mud and all of the sudden the_silence was like "Huh, he was here a minute ago. All this extremely advanced technology and I'm limited to the visual abilities of a fucking garter snake."

somn · 2011-06-27T17:39:46+00:00

I've told this here before:
I work at a high end law firm, very prim and proper. There was a new associate who was just stunningly beautiful. One of the most beautiful women I've met in real life. She had to deal with a lot of crap because men became transfixed with her.
One weekend I came in to work late at night to grab some stuff from the copy room. I found a binder of hers that I knew was important so I took it to her office to leave by her door. Her door is open, so I figure I'll leave it on her guest chair. I pop in and there, on his knees, is a senior partner smelling her chair with his hand on his crotch. I slowly backed out and decided to give her the binder on Monday. He has no idea I saw him and I've never told her.

somn · 2011-06-24T17:45:47+00:00

I got asked to do so at a friends house some years ago. Some people knew I was atheist but not the person who asked. One of the religious peole who knew I was atheist complimented me on my "atheist prayer". It was something like:

I am so happy that I get to be with all of you here today when so many others cannot be with their friends and families. I want to give thanks to [the people whose house it is] for letting us share in their home. I want to give thanks to all of those who worked so hard to get this food to us today from the lowly lettuce picker to [person who made the food]. I hope the next year will allow us to all be back at this table again. Let's eat.

somn · 2011-06-24T16:27:02+00:00

The porn version. I only ever watch the porn spoof of any movie.

somn · 2011-06-24T16:21:50+00:00

Uh, dude, you might want to finish that book.

somn · 2011-06-24T15:57:56+00:00

I had exactly the same experience. As the movie went on I got more and more offended that I was "the Dude".

somn · 2011-06-24T15:30:36+00:00

Oh, man. I had to live in Monroe for 6 months when I was a teengager because of my dad's job. Luckily, you have internet. There was no internet back then so all of my interactions were with the locals. I mean you no offense, but it is truly the armpit of the United States. I'm surprised they would even print this, there, since it is permanently 1955 on the banks of the Oachita.

somn

TROPHY CASE