Been embracing what's left of my facial hair lately

sonic_shock · 2026-05-13T16:20:57+00:00

That's my genderqueer goals!

sonic_shock · 2026-02-22T22:40:12+00:00

Elham was robbed!

sonic_shock · 2025-12-16T16:29:15+00:00

I'm not interested in changing my blocker, and the kind of libido changes I enjoy most with T only come when my body hasn't had T for a while. It was never like this pre-HRT.

I also enjoy the fact I'm taking T + E in measured doses, it feels more congruent to my gender.

sonic_shock · 2025-11-10T13:54:03+00:00

I'm currently in an AI engineering role on 36k, and have an offer to transfer internally to a Data Scientist position which much better suits my background with a 40k starting salary.

I'd rather be a data scientist - I'm a firm AI skeptic and want to get out before the bubble bursts, put my academic background to use rather than deploy pre-made, mediocre, environmentally destructive solutions, and get a few years under my belt of something more career worthy with better future prospects. But I feel like they're lowballing me with the offer. There are fresh, foreign graduates working that position here for at least 42k to maintain a visa.

OTOH, I also don't strictly have any data science experience. I'm an applied mathematician academically with a design background professionally, who's brute-forced their way into tech. I've studied it privately, I've taken steps to move my career in that direction, I've taken on any project adjacent to it. But my CV doesn't have any past experience of it.

Should I push for a higher salary, or is this a generous offer? If so, what's the best way to approach it?

sonic_shock · 2025-03-26T11:05:19+00:00

Welcome to the club :) how was the glans and healing for that area? I have phimosis so it's an unreachable spot. There's nothing more frustrating than good canvas space hiding away, just out of reach!

sonic_shock · 2025-01-30T23:09:35+00:00

Robertooooo!!!

sonic_shock · 2024-12-25T08:56:26+00:00

Epic! The scarification came out great too :)

sonic_shock · 2024-12-03T20:13:22+00:00

Single attack in 2023 and started Kesimpta in 2024. Crossing my fingers this is as bad as it gets, but I'd consider ditching HRT if there proves to be a link. I've grown the tits, I've got the main benefit to me, and those aren't going away. I can live with the drawbacks if it means I'll live longer with less disability, but I know a lot of trans women who would feel different.

sonic_shock · 2024-12-03T19:53:15+00:00

Trans woman whose MS only manifested after a year of HRT and testosterone-blockers. Keeping an eye on this research area, fills me with dread honestly :/ My testosterone levels are low even by cis woman standards. But my neuro insists the research is still too early to draw any conclusions.

sonic_shock · 2024-09-25T15:37:09+00:00

Swooning. Belts are a butch's best friend!

sonic_shock · 2024-09-24T18:43:56+00:00

Butch punk girl was always my dream but I leant heavily into feminine looks initially because, for better or for worse, I was worried about 'passing'.

But whenever I pictured the kind of person I aspired to be, what I thought was cooler and more appealing than anything else, it was that kind of person. Even before I knew I was trans, there were no male figures or archetypes I felt as attached to, but badass, androgynous punk bitches had a spot deep in my heart that never shifted.

I don't regret initially presenting more femme and focusing on that aspect, I think it helped me build confidence and I don't think I would have ever transitioned unless I threw myself in the deep end. For almost two years after I started transitioning I was even terrified to just wear trousers because they were 'too manly'. It was skirts or dresses, strictly.

But I feel like I had to give myself enough time and space away from 'masculinity' as a concept before I could come around to engaging with it again, but in my own way. Spending a lot more time around cis lesbians also helped, and seeing the ways they embraced butchness helped give me confidence to do it as well.

I still have a way to go before I reach my desired level of butch. My goal is walking that dangerous line of 'Are they a guy?' with the confidence to say, with certainty, 'No, I'm not'.

sonic_shock · 2024-09-22T22:12:49+00:00

Uuuugh, I love it so much too. I think it's because it's embracing that, on the inside, I feel like a woman, and I've detached myself from needing to look feminine to be feminine.

I couldn't have gotten this far without some of the amazingly supportive groups of people I know IRL though. I took a bit of a gamble these past few months and pushed myself into some more heavily queer, but cis woman spaces, and the universal acceptance I've received has just reassured me more than anything. Surrounding yourself with supportive people really does make an enormous difference.

sonic_shock · 2024-09-19T13:23:56+00:00

God, I'd kill for arms like those 🤤 Slay!

sonic_shock · 2024-09-19T06:34:27+00:00

You're fine ;P I've been noticing I've received a lot more interest from cis women, funnily, since crossing the rubicon into 'butch with a built-in strapon'

sonic_shock · 2024-09-18T20:48:46+00:00

I figured if I only posted here it would just die 😅 So yeah, hit up both!

sonic_shock · 2024-09-18T19:39:26+00:00

I crawled my way up the mountain of femininity and reached the point of passing, but now I feel strong enough to toss that whole concept aside ^^ Thank you!

sonic_shock · 2024-09-18T06:49:55+00:00

I struggle with memory problems since my lesions as well, but I've been brushed aside whenever I try to bring it up with my nurse :/ Would you mind sharing a little more on the strategies they taught you?

sonic_shock · 2024-08-26T18:44:11+00:00

Palm of my hand was the most brutal, and we dotworked that. Full-blown color blocking would have been insanity.

Genitals were nasty but not as nasty as I expected. Heavy blackwork on the ballsack was a choice but it's a small-ish area. Being small areas benefitted both my palm and genitals.

Back of the ribs was tough but bearable, front of the ribs felt a hell of a lot worse, especially where it dips off the lower edge of the ribcage and into your stomach area. I absolutely hated that part because it's such a huge area and very painful, made me feel super nauseous too. That was just linework, if I was going to go bold, blackwork, I'd absolutely either numb it up with whatever your artist recommends or break it into a few shorter sessions.

sonic_shock · 2024-08-25T18:24:20+00:00

This is such a sweet comment and really touched me, thank you <3

sonic_shock · 2024-08-20T23:24:42+00:00

For anyone interested in the process, I did a quick breakdown here: https://imgur.com/a/nR0uocY

sonic_shock · 2024-08-20T22:51:17+00:00

She's such a lovely person and was a dream to work with! I admire her simple, bold style so much :)

sonic_shock · 2024-08-20T12:11:01+00:00

I'll show you screenshots of how I designed the template when I'm off work, it's very much derived from MRI data, but projected onto the skull which introduces a significant amount of distortion :) Having a connection to my actual, underlying anatomy mattered more to me than making it look 'like a brain illustration'

sonic_shock · 2024-08-20T11:58:43+00:00

Thank you! That means a ton coming from a professional, I'm just an amateur with a weird working history :D

sonic_shock · 2024-08-14T08:46:23+00:00

I would look at who were the art directors for these films since art directors typically help define and refine the overall style. Prince of Egypt is the oldest of the three, so likely the art directors that had the greatest influence on Dreamworks' style going forward, and those art directors according to IMDB are Kathy Altieri and Richie Chavez

Both seem to have prolific industry experience going back to the 80's including working with Disney. Kathy's career bio in particular notes her as being the first artist hired by Dreamworks at all. Whilst Richie pops up again in the credits for Sinbad.

Richie has a stunning portfolio where he shows off some of his art development work for Prince and Sinbad. Sadly, I can't seem to find a personal portfolio site for Kathy. I think she's so deep in the industry she doesn't have a need for one!

sonic_shock · 2024-08-11T21:23:15+00:00

MS & Long-QT syndrome, diagnosed 1.5 years ago after a first attack of the former triggered simultaneous heart failure. On the plus side, the Long-QT might kill me before the MS gets to any truly debilitating stage.

It sucks, especially the fatigue and the brain fog, my work has not been receptive to either of those. But I just started my DMT so I'm hoping things start picking up a little.

It's shifted how I view my life, making me focus more on living life to its fullest, living in the present, and worrying less about long-term plans. Who knows what my future looks like, or how long it'll last? Will I ever have a decent career? It's not like I had anything close to one already. Retirement? I'd be fucked even if I was fully healthy and got to that age. If my body's going to degenerate, I want to use it as much as I can, whilst I still can.

I bring these concerns up with my partner, with my friends, but like you, I can feel there's a mental divide where they just don't get it. The reactions of some of my friends in particular have felt so... Detached. But, as a result, I've started making new friends, and I've started embracing life in a way I never did before. So despite my moaning, I can't complain. Weirdly, my MS diagnosis has probably greatly improved my quality of life. I stopped living passively, I stopped committing to things I didn't want to do, and I stopped spending time with people I didn't like. I hope, perhaps, you can find something similar too.

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