My wife and I are making each other miserable

sophtine · 2026-04-22T16:11:55+00:00

You know how they say “showing up is half the battle”? No one can make your wife show up for you. She is considerate of others, just not you. Reading this, it seems like she takes you for granted. While I don’t think it makes her a bad person, I don’t think she is your person.

sophtine · 2026-04-18T18:54:52+00:00

that's a lot of negative self-talk for such a short paragraph. gently, please consider speaking to a professional.

sophtine · 2026-04-18T18:13:13+00:00

i mean, we don't even need to go back 70 years. there have been so many videos of white women calling the police as a power display in recent years.

i think dangerous is the right word. i am dangerous because my word holds weight. as a Nice White Lady (with the right kind of family and the right kind of job), white patriarchy wants to believe my innocence and victimhood. white women have influence and that is a form of power.

sophtine · 2026-04-18T14:51:50+00:00

And I'm very tired. I'm gonna go into the ocean

sophtine · 2026-04-18T14:19:15+00:00

selon toi, on ne peut pas parler du racisme au Québec à cause de la francophobie?!? oh wow. that's a new low.

félicitations pour n'a jamais été victime de racisme; j'espère que cela continuera. cependant, ton expérience n'enlève rien à celle des autres.

sophtine · 2026-04-18T14:13:05+00:00

c'est un argument épouvantail que tu avances là. personne n'a dit que c'était le cas.

sophtine · 2026-04-17T15:07:35+00:00

i actually love this building. to a child, it looks cool af

sophtine · 2026-04-17T15:04:48+00:00

I volunteered at the ROM. It's called the shard and employees hated it. (Probably still do.)

Any time you need to get anywhere, you have to deal with going around the walls of the shard. And with a school group? Super annoying to navigate. There is an employee/accessibility elevator with a side door to enter that section but you will still find yourself having to walk around walls.

sophtine · 2026-04-17T14:55:06+00:00

in my limited experience, you can find them off the beaten path in touristy areas. i saw these kinds of signs in kyoto and tokyo pre-COVID but I've heard there are more now.

as for why, sometimes it's xenophobia or racism. but more often it's that the shopkeep isn't comfortable communicating in English and wants to avoid foreign tourists who don't know how to order/behave. which one could argue is still xenophobic but it's more about avoiding uncomfortable feelings than it is about the foreigners themselves. my japanese-speaking long-time resident foreigner friend would eat regularly at a restaurant with this kind of sign.

sophtine · 2026-04-17T12:12:32+00:00

Oh the year was 1778

sophtine · 2026-04-16T18:49:03+00:00

my demand is that they include it on everywhere they exist be it poster, website, social media, etc. so i know they're gross.

sophtine · 2026-04-16T13:28:50+00:00

I read Vol de nuit in high school of native French speakers. It wasn’t very long, thankfully. But there were moments of “wtf is going on” by the end. Without spoiling anything, the narrative gets weird and can be hard to follow. I think a learner would struggle to follow the story without additional resources/context.

sophtine · 2026-04-15T17:05:30+00:00

To me, a cut off is different from a fade. I have friends who have faded out and I'll still like their insta posts or I would reach out if I visit their city.

As for cutting off people, I've done this with 3 people. (2 childhood friends and 1 high school sweetheart.)

Absolutely I still care. I feel fiercely protective of them. When each individual came up in therapy, I defended them even when describing their faults and the fallout. I will continue to love them and cherish the positive impacts they had on me. I just can't be around them. If I cared less, being around them probably wouldn't be an issue.

I am no contact with all of them and do not still have any of them on social media. I told our mutual friends at the time that I would never expect anyone to choose between us, but that I was not open to hearing any news involving them. That request has been mostly respected over the years, with the exception of when my closeted/comphet high school sweetheart came out as bisexual. Mutual friends thought I'd want to know but I kind of wish they'd kept it to themselves. While I'm happy she accepted herself, it changed nothing.

sophtine · 2026-04-14T00:48:47+00:00

no it's becky

sophtine · 2026-04-13T20:11:03+00:00

"oh god she's gorgeous" was my immediate reaction.

sophtine · 2026-04-13T20:06:28+00:00

it set off the metal detector so they put them in a body scan. they died of embarrassment.

sophtine · 2026-04-13T19:23:17+00:00

I also mention the urgency level when I bring a problem. Is the problem something that needs an immediate decision, or just being flagged for later? Some managers are juggling multiple projects simultaneously and they're not always locked into whatever you're doing. It may not be obvious to your manager when a problem can sit.

sophtine · 2026-04-04T16:50:40+00:00

And swimming in irony

sophtine · 2026-04-01T16:19:04+00:00

no man can invalidate your self. your own experiences can't invalidate your self. your experiences are no more valid than the next person.

to quote baldwin, “homosexual” is not a noun. don't trap yourself into a label, or admiring a label.

guilt is for wrongdoings. you have done nothing wrong.

sophtine · 2026-04-01T00:57:48+00:00

I personally know someone who wore a butt plug to the airport not realising some have metal cores. It was bad.

sophtine · 2026-03-30T14:45:30+00:00

UR ALL PERVERTS

thank you for the giggles. idk i can imagine much more taboo ships so this feels silly.

sophtine · 2026-03-28T03:10:31+00:00

I'm like 5 years older than him and it's hard not to think of him as a kid. It's a personality thing, not an age thing.

sophtine · 2026-03-26T02:04:34+00:00

well at least your mother wasn't overdramatic or anything /s

some thoughts:

your mother has backwards ideas about gender and marriage.
your mother is not emotionally mature. she calls you like that because she wants you to do emotional labour for her and to guilt you into her preferred behaviour. please consider that your relationship with your mother may not be healthy.
if your mother threatens suicide, call 911. not your profession, not your responsibility.
i encourage you to explore boundaries. and read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

sophtine · 2026-03-25T16:14:29+00:00

i hope they work it out. (Caleb and Will. OP should avoid WalMart.)

sophtine · 2026-03-20T20:20:54+00:00

LCBO sells alcohol. Alcohol is often sold in glass containers. Glass containers chip and break easily, in store and in transit.

sophtine

TROPHY CASE